Hi ladies, I have been MIA due to a lot of stuff at work but I have some free time again and I am looking foward to posting more!!
I thought this would be an interesting topic to discuss:
so, FH and I recently found out that one of our couple friends who have been married for over a year are getting divorced...
FH and I new something was up because when things arent working out between them, they 'disappear'.
The husband ( FH childhood friend) called and told him he packed up his stuff, met with a lawyer and filed for divorce....never wants to see or hear from her again...and is letting her keep pretty much everything except the car and a few other things....
Turns out, he got a phone call from his soon to be ex brother in law who told him that his wife has been cheating on him with a guy at work since two months after they were married!!!! She even had the nerve to bring this guy ( who is also married with 2 kids) to her parents and sisters house introducing him as her boyfriend!??!!
FH friend works midnights for the NYPD so she would sneak this guy home while her husband was at work!!!! To top it all off, the reason why he was at work so much is because she wanted this huge wedding and he was working overtime because they had so much debt left over!
so here are my questions:
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??
mariaobride
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by WinterBride08
Some people obviously don't take marriage seriously, she sounds horrible!
My answers:
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?
I tend to think I would, but depending on how close I am to these people, i'd either do it anonymously (if i'm not close with them) or face to face (if I am close with them)
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?
The fact that I even allowed myself to get attracted to someone else to the point where I am questioning marrying FH would prove that i'm not ready for marriage...it's natural to be attracted to other people physically, but if you're making it such a big deal and focusing on someone else THAT much, that's a definite red flag that you're not ready for marriage....
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??
It depends on the extent of how he was cheating on me...I would do anything in my power to keep my marriage intact as long as it's not beyond the point of repair.....
# 2 well said you broke it down better than me that is what I was trying to get at saying
Espo22
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by nifheim
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?
I have to say it have been in this situation and not informed the wife and ended the friendship due to him cheating on his wife. I honestly think she knew since he was touring and on the road a lot. I couldn't be the one to break the news to her since she was depressed and emotionally disabled anyway and most likely would of killed herself. THat is one reason the husband didn't want to divorce her because he knew she would kill herself.
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?
Depends- sometimes in fear you make up attractions that you think are real but honestly it is your mind trying to make you back out due to fear and anxiety. It happened to my bro - so he went through with the marriage and he is still married 12 years later and VERY happy.
I also feel it is okay to be attracted to other people as long as you do not act on it or obsess about it.
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??
End it
I LOVE your 2nd answer, very intuitive...and i agree, an attraction is normal...they even say its healthy for ppl to fantasize while in a relationship...its what you do with that attraction that matters
ItalianBride428
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by Espo22
The whole telling somebody that their SO is cheating is very hard...depending on who it is then maybe i'd tell them. The reason why is because ive seen situations and been in situations where the person who says something ends up looking like the bad guy.
This girl i know once told her friend that her bf was cheating, well the girl fought with her bf at first but after a little time she got back with him and it seemed like the girl was holding it against her friend for telling her, sometimes people rather not know than have to deal with it and lose somebody they dont want to lose...not only that but as you can imagine the two friends and the bf all hanging out would be an awkward situation.
ALSO-not that long ago, probably 2 summers ago i had seen this guy out with a girl, this guy was dating this girl that i knew, i was better friends with her cousins and her other friends. Her friend even said 'DONT EVEN BOTHER' and i listened and she was right. Well 2 months after i saw her bf with another girl, someone slipped and said something to her, she asked me about it so since it was out i told her what i saw and when. EVERYBODY warned me that this girl is naive and will not believe it, well she didn't and infact went around telling people that i was making up things, even though mutual friends told her that i would never do anything like that. She even had her bf call my house and im 100% she was listening in on the call...he kept asking me questions like well if you saw me what car did i drive, uhmmm i said it and he said good guess lol then i said the color and he kinda kept quiet, i also gave the name of the girl bc someone i was with knew her. I was angry that she would go around saying i was lying, i wasnt even the one who told her...but yeah she stayed with him but SOON after he dumped her for someone else
Point is, people have to be careful who they tell bc everyone reacts differently to such news.
Very true...
I guess part of me would feel guilty if I knew and didnt say anything....because I think if someone knew Fh was cheating and didnt tell me, I would be mad because I would feel like an idiot going on as if nothing was wrong....but then again, some people are aware or have a 'feeling' that something is wrong, but are in denial.
Actualy, FH friend said he felt relieved....which leads me to assume he thought she was anyway.
kimNanthony
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
GinaBambina08
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by mariaobride
Posted by WinterBride08
Some people obviously don't take marriage seriously, she sounds horrible!
My answers:
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?
I tend to think I would, but depending on how close I am to these people, i'd either do it anonymously (if i'm not close with them) or face to face (if I am close with them)
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?
The fact that I even allowed myself to get attracted to someone else to the point where I am questioning marrying FH would prove that i'm not ready for marriage...it's natural to be attracted to other people physically, but if you're making it such a big deal and focusing on someone else THAT much, that's a definite red flag that you're not ready for marriage....
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??
It depends on the extent of how he was cheating on me...I would do anything in my power to keep my marriage intact as long as it's not beyond the point of repair.....
# 2 well said you broke it down better than me that is what I was trying to get at saying
thanks
ItalianBride428
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
see thats hard, bc you dont want to get into a fight with your FH....
kimNanthony
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
JozyLee123
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by WinterBride08
Some people obviously don't take marriage seriously, she sounds horrible!
My answers:
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?
I tend to think I would, but depending on how close I am to these people, i'd either do it anonymously (if i'm not close with them) or face to face (if I am close with them)
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?
The fact that I even allowed myself to get attracted to someone else to the point where I am questioning marrying FH would prove that i'm not ready for marriage...it's natural to be attracted to other people physically, but if you're making it such a big deal and focusing on someone else THAT much, that's a definite red flag that you're not ready for marriage....
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??
It depends on the extent of how he was cheating on me...I would do anything in my power to keep my marriage intact as long as it's not beyond the point of repair.....
I tend to agree with EVERYTHING said here!
Espo22
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by ItalianBride428
[ Point is, people have to be careful who they tell bc everyone reacts differently to such news.
Very true...
I guess part of me would feel guilty if I knew and didnt say anything....because I think if someone knew Fh was cheating and didnt tell me, I would be mad because I would feel like an idiot going on as if nothing was wrong....but then again, some people are aware or have a 'feeling' that something is wrong, but are in denial.
Actualy, FH friend said he felt relieved....which leads me to assume he thought she was anyway.
yeah sometimes ppl have a feeling but until its proven they can go on pretending its not happening
its a very difficult situation, and its one thing when its just bf and gf but once they're married and especially if they have kids its hard to get involved.
ItalianBride428
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
hannahshim
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans? yes i would because they have a right to know..
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else? NO I would not even THINK about anyone else..
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do?? this one is hard... I would have to have himleave because I wont be able to trust him EVER again.. I have big trust issues I've been stabbed in the back WAYYY too many times
ItalianBride428
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by Espo22
Posted by ItalianBride428
[ Point is, people have to be careful who they tell bc everyone reacts differently to such news.
Very true...
I guess part of me would feel guilty if I knew and didnt say anything....because I think if someone knew Fh was cheating and didnt tell me, I would be mad because I would feel like an idiot going on as if nothing was wrong....but then again, some people are aware or have a 'feeling' that something is wrong, but are in denial.
Actualy, FH friend said he felt relieved....which leads me to assume he thought she was anyway.
yeah sometimes ppl have a feeling but until its proven they can go on pretending its not happening
its a very difficult situation, and its one thing when its just bf and gf but once they're married and especially if they have kids its hard to get involved.
I am very glad they didnt decide to have children...it would have made things so much more complicated. It is really her loss, he is a great guy who really loved her...I think she took advantage of him because she knew he would give her the world.
JoesFutureWife
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Something similar happened to my sister....she got married (after dating a guy for 7 years) and less than 3 months after they got married, she found out he was cheating on her. She moved out and then she and him went to a marriage counselor but in the end my sister couldnt get past it. I wouldnt mind it but my sister is super hot and one of the most amazing people in this world. Needless to say they are divorced and he is getting married in april to the girl he swore he wasnt sleeping with...(that disgusting girl was married too...nice eh?!) So to answer your questions: (1) yes i would tell the person (2) i would re-evaluate why i was getting married and why im feeling the way that i am? Is it an innocent attraction or am i using the attraction to cover up not wanting to get married? (3) i would be out the door!! I value myself too much to let someone walk all over me! Im very sorry for FH's friend!!
Espo22
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
ItalianBride428
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by JoesFutureWife
Something similar happened to my sister....she got married (after dating a guy for 7 years) and less than 3 months after they got married, she found out he was cheating on her. She moved out and then she and him went to a marriage counselor but in the end my sister couldnt get past it. I wouldnt mind it but my sister is super hot and one of the most amazing people in this world. Needless to say they are divorced and he is getting married in april to the girl he swore he wasnt sleeping with...(that disgusting girl was married too...nice eh?!) So to answer your questions: (1) yes i would tell the person (2) i would re-evaluate why i was getting married and why im feeling the way that i am? Is it an innocent attraction or am i using the attraction to cover up not wanting to get married? (3) i would be out the door!! I value myself too much to let someone walk all over me! Im very sorry for FH's friend!!
wow. I am so glad your sister had enough self esteem to honor her feelings...some people get scared and deny the fact they cant get passed it.
This couple was even living together for 4 years before they got married!
Espo22
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
offtopic: christina are you going to the poconos early tomorrow? joe and i wont be there until at least 7 but we'll see you when we get there
ItalianBride428
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by Espo22
offtopic: christina are you going to the poconos early tomorrow? joe and i wont be there until at least 7 but we'll see you when we get there
Yes we are going, I got summoned to jury duty so we didnt know when were leaving...but I was sent home today so we will be there around 3 or 4....I dont know how to get there so I have to follow my parents ...lol
AS
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
so here are my answers:
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans? Well I know alot of things about other people, I wouldnt tell, none of my business
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else? No I have already wasted a ton of money, lol. Seriously I wouldnt stop the wedd bec I THINK I am attracted to someone else. You just have to know. I know FH is the one!
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do?? Id kill him and the bitchh he is cheating on me with, I will bury their bodies far far away
Espo22
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by ItalianBride428
Posted by Espo22
offtopic: christina are you going to the poconos early tomorrow? joe and i wont be there until at least 7 but we'll see you when we get there
Yes we are going, I got summoned to jury duty so we didnt know when were leaving...but I was sent home today so we will be there around 3 or 4....I dont know how to get there so I have to follow my parents ...lol
i have the directions to skytop if you want
yeah im working until 5pm tomorrow, normally i get out a little early but im covering for somebody. But Joe is picking me up from work, you have no idea how great it is to actually get picked up and not have to take the train lol but anyways yeah straight from my job were going there
ItalianBride428
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Re: An interesting scenario...what would you do??
Posted by MPAS
so here are my answers:
1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans? Well I know alot of things about other people, I wouldnt tell, none of my business
2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else? No I have already wasted a ton of money, lol. Seriously I wouldnt stop the wedd bec I THINK I am attracted to someone else. You just have to know. I know FH is the one!
3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do?? Id kill him and the bitchh he is cheating on me with, I will bury their bodies far far away
