An interesting scenario...what would you do??

Hi ladies, I have been MIA due to a lot of stuff at work but I have some free time again and I am looking foward to posting more!!

I thought this would be an interesting topic to discuss:


so, FH and I recently found out that one of our couple friends who have been married for over a year are getting divorced...

FH and I new something was up because when things arent working out between them, they 'disappear'.

The husband ( FH childhood friend) called and told him he packed up his stuff, met with a lawyer and filed for divorce....never wants to see or hear from her again...and is letting her keep pretty much everything except the car and a few other things....

Turns out, he got a phone call from his soon to be ex brother in law who told him that his wife has been cheating on him with a guy at work since two months after they were married!!!!
She even had the nerve to bring this guy ( who is also married with 2 kids) to her parents and sisters house introducing him as her boyfriend!??!!

FH friend works midnights for the NYPD so she would sneak this guy home while her husband was at work!!!! To top it all off, the reason why he was at work so much is because she wanted this huge wedding and he was working overtime because they had so much debt left over!

so here are my questions:

1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?

2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?

3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??

YIKES!!
I need time to think

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Posted by Kimbalina

YIKES!!
I need time to think

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I was just going to say that!

wow - that's a toughie....

I would tell someone if i knew 100% for a fact that their sig. other was cheating on them....unless my friend/family member was the one cheating. I know that sounds ugly - but i couldn't break a trust like that...

I would divorce dave if i found out he cheated - that's an understanding we have. You so much as kiss another woman - i'm gone....

would i call off the wedding? no - i think attraction is normal, but acting on it is not something i would ever, ever do.

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Posted by Kimbalina

YIKES!!
I need time to think

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i dont know if i'd spill the beans.....depending on the situation i might....

i wouldnt go through with the wedding if i was unsure or having feelings for someone else

and i think i would get divorced if FH cheated on me.....i dont know if that is something i would be able to forgive - i would feel very betrayed and i would probably lose all my self esteem and always wonder if FH wished he was with someone else or still cheating.....and when people cheat when they have a family it bothers me even more bc i feel like you are cheating on your entire family not just your spouse....

Some people obviously don't take marriage seriously, she sounds horrible!

My answers:

1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?

I tend to think I would, but depending on how close I am to these people, i'd either do it anonymously (if i'm not close with them) or face to face (if I am close with them)

2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?

The fact that I even allowed myself to get attracted to someone else to the point where I am questioning marrying FH would prove that i'm not ready for marriage...it's natural to be attracted to other people physically, but if you're making it such a big deal and focusing on someone else THAT much, that's a definite red flag that you're not ready for marriage....

3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??

It depends on the extent of how he was cheating on me...I would do anything in my power to keep my marriage intact as long as it's not beyond the point of repair.....

question 1 - if they either on of the were my good friends yes i would but i would first give the cehating party to tell thier husband/wife themeslvess

#2 - iw ould stop the wedding if i honestly thought that my FH was not the guy for me and i really thought this other guy was ...

#3 I would divorce his ASSSS in a heartbeat ... i may even physically hurt him

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Posted by davenjess

wow - that's a toughie....

I would tell someone if i knew 100% for a fact that their sig. other was cheating on them....unless my friend/family member was the one cheating. I know that sounds ugly - but i couldn't break a trust like that...

I would divorce dave if i found out he cheated - that's an understanding we have. You so much as kiss another woman - i'm gone....

would i call off the wedding? no - i think attraction is normal, but acting on it is not something i would ever, ever do.

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You took the words right out of my mouth!

I would def tell someone if I knew their spouse was cheating, cause I hope that people would do the same for me.
If I was truly attracted to someone else and there was nothing left between me and FH, yes I would stop the wedding
Finally, If I found out the FH was cheating, I would get divorced and take him to the cleaners and get everything
Also, once I fould out about the cheating--all of his expensive precious autographs and jerseys and sports collectibles would be destroyed but I told him that already-lol, not that I don't trust him completely

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Posted by davenjess

wow - that's a toughie....

I would tell someone if i knew 100% for a fact that their sig. other was cheating on them....unless my friend/family member was the one cheating. I know that sounds ugly - but i couldn't break a trust like that...

I would divorce dave if i found out he cheated - that's an understanding we have. You so much as kiss another woman - i'm gone....

would i call off the wedding? no - i think attraction is normal, but acting on it is not something i would ever, ever do.

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I think I would tell someone if I knew they were being cheated on BUT you are 100% right about the cheater being someone you are close to...I dont know if I would be able to tell their significant other....which makes our friends situation even more complicated.... now there is a a huge fight between the sisters because the bro in law told the cheaters husband!

That's horrible!!

Yes, I would tell if I was 100% sure there was cheating going on. IF it was a family member/friend of mine that was doing the cheating, I'd confront them and convince them to tell so I wouldn't have to.

FH knows cheating is a deal breaker. It's been done to me and I won't take it. The second I find out, I'm gone.

Attracted to someone else? I'm attracted to men all the time, doesn't mean I'd act on it. I've never been so attracted to someone since I met FH that I'd act on it and risk ruining my relationship. If that happened, I'd have to reasess my feelings for FH...if I could be with someone else, maybe he wasn't the one.

1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?

It depends who the person is to me. If its a best friend/relative then yes I would tell. If its someone Im not close to, then its not my business.

2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?

Probably not. Being attracted to someone doesnt mean anything most of the time. ANd I wouldnt be getting married in the first place, if I thought I might be attracted to other people

3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??

Can I go on liweddings in jail?

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Posted by WinterBride08

Some people obviously don't take marriage seriously, she sounds horrible!

My answers:

1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?

I tend to think I would, but depending on how close I am to these people, i'd either do it anonymously (if i'm not close with them) or face to face (if I am close with them)

2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?

The fact that I even allowed myself to get attracted to someone else to the point where I am questioning marrying FH would prove that i'm not ready for marriage...it's natural to be attracted to other people physically, but if you're making it such a big deal and focusing on someone else THAT much, that's a definite red flag that you're not ready for marriage....

3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??

It depends on the extent of how he was cheating on me...I would do anything in my power to keep my marriage intact as long as it's not beyond the point of repair.....

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I 100% agree with you...especially with #2!

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Posted by lkdrnw

I would def tell someone if I knew their spouse was cheating, cause I hope that people would do the same for me.
If I was truly attracted to someone else and there was nothing left between me and FH, yes I would stop the wedding
Finally, If I found out the FH was cheating, I would get divorced and take him to the cleaners and get everything
Also, once I fould out about the cheating--all of his expensive precious autographs and jerseys and sports collectibles would be destroyed but I told him that already-lol, not that I don't trust him completely

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LOL, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

first question is tough because if you spill the beans & tell your best friend they may not believe you but I think I would risk that if I 100% knew their soon to be spouse was cheating if it was an aquiantance I am not sure I would really get involved


I know it is easier said than done but i would probably leave FH & not stayed married to him I dont think I would be able to ever trust him again

If I had an attraction to someone else I dont feel there is a need to call off a wedding however if I am in love with someone else then in my opinion am I really in love with FH

there are so many scenarios that can take place

If I was a friend or family member to the person being cheated on and I was 100% certain then yes I would tell the person.

I would sue for the money I paid towards the wedding and file for divorce.

1) if you knew someone was cheating on their husband/wife would you spill the beans?

I have to say it have been in this situation and not informed the wife and ended the friendship due to him cheating on his wife. I honestly think she knew since he was touring and on the road a lot. I couldn't be the one to break the news to her since she was depressed and emotionally disabled anyway and most likely would of killed herself. THat is one reason the husband didn't want to divorce her because he knew she would kill herself.

2) would you stop the wedding if you thought you were attracted to someone else?

Depends- sometimes in fear you make up attractions that you think are real but honestly it is your mind trying to make you back out due to fear and anxiety. It happened to my bro - so he went through with the marriage and he is still married 12 years later and VERY happy.

I also feel it is okay to be attracted to other people as long as you do not act on it or obsess about it.

3) if you found out FH was cheating on you after you got married...what would you do??

End it

The whole telling somebody that their SO is cheating is very hard...depending on who it is then maybe i'd tell them. The reason why is because ive seen situations and been in situations where the person who says something ends up looking like the bad guy.

This girl i know once told her friend that her bf was cheating, well the girl fought with her bf at first but after a little time she got back with him and it seemed like the girl was holding it against her friend for telling her, sometimes people rather not know than have to deal with it and lose somebody they dont want to lose...not only that but as you can imagine the two friends and the bf all hanging out would be an awkward situation.

ALSO-not that long ago, probably 2 summers ago i had seen this guy out with a girl, this guy was dating this girl that i knew, i was better friends with her cousins and her other friends. Her friend even said 'DONT EVEN BOTHER' and i listened and she was right. Well 2 months after i saw her bf with another girl, someone slipped and said something to her, she asked me about it so since it was out i told her what i saw and when. EVERYBODY warned me that this girl is naive and will not believe it, well she didn't and infact went around telling people that i was making up things, even though mutual friends told her that i would never do anything like that. She even had her bf call my house and im 100% she was listening in on the call...he kept asking me questions like well if you saw me what car did i drive, uhmmm i said it and he said good guess lol then i said the color and he kinda kept quiet, i also gave the name of the girl bc someone i was with knew her. I was angry that she would go around saying i was lying, i wasnt even the one who told her...but yeah she stayed with him but SOON after he dumped her for someone else

Point is, people have to be careful who they tell bc everyone reacts differently to such news.

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Posted by mariaobride

first question is tough because if you spill the beans & tell your best friend they may not believe you but I think I would risk that if I 100% knew their soon to be spouse was cheating if it was an aquiantance I am not sure I would really get involved


I know it is easier said than done but i would probably leave FH & not stayed married to him I dont think I would be able to ever trust him again

If I had an attraction to someone else I dont feel there is a need to call off a wedding however if I am in love with someone else then in my opinion am I really in love with FH

there are so many scenarios that can take place

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I agree, I think it would be hard to trust again once someone cheats...you will forever think 'where are they?' 'who are they with'