'and guest'???

our guest list is so long and we are paying everything ourselves. we settled on not writing 'and guest' on the invites for single people (unless they are engaged or have a significant other that's been around a while that we know fairly well). Now I'm wondering though since yesterday on Easter my older cousin showed up with a guy...what to do??? is it tacky to not invite a guest?? which cant afford all those extra people that we dont know and may not be around very long , if ya know what i mean!!

it's a tough decision - but it's completely up to you!
lots of people only invite people with a guest if they have been dating for a significant period of time, or are engaged or living together.
personally, i invited everyone 'with guest' tomake my life easier...so i didn't have to find out about every single single person

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Posted by marybbates

our guest list is so long and we are paying everything ourselves. we settled on not writing 'and guest' on the invites for single people (unless they are engaged or have a significant other that's been around a while that we know fairly well). Now I'm wondering though since yesterday on Easter my older cousin showed up with a guy...what to do??? is it tacky to not invite a guest?? which cant afford all those extra people that we dont know and may not be around very long , if ya know what i mean!!

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Honestly, IMO you should get on the phone with all the singles and ask them. This way you won't have to feel badly about it

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but you may want to have your Moh, BM, FMIL, mon and other people in your family spread the word around, so you don't have people RSVPing for 2, even if you didn't write 'and guest' on your invites.

We didn't invite anyone with a guest that didn't have a serious significant other. We just couldn't afford the extra people. We didn't have to write 'and guest' on anyones invitiations. If we didn't know their guests name, we knew they weren't serious. That's just how we did it, but I know that doesn't work for everyone.

I think the idea of calling the ones you have questions about, is a good one.

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Posted by Mickey3722

This exactly what we did. We only invited someone with a guest if they are dating someone, etc. I dont want them to bring someone they met at the bar the night before. What I did was I only invited a single person with a guest if they were older ( like my boss) I think that would be weird if I didnt invite him with a guest even though I know he wont bring someone.

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I forgot. We did that too for one friend of DH who was in his 50's and single. I don't know why, but we felt it was different then someone who was younger and single.

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Posted by marybbates

our guest list is so long and we are paying everything ourselves. we settled on not writing 'and guest' on the invites for single people (unless they are engaged or have a significant other that's been around a while that we know fairly well). Now I'm wondering though since yesterday on Easter my older cousin showed up with a guy...what to do??? is it tacky to not invite a guest?? which cant afford all those extra people that we dont know and may not be around very long , if ya know what i mean!!

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Your plan is fine, only invite with a guest if they are engaged or have been with the SO for a while.

In regards to your cousin, I would wait, when it is time to address the invitations, see if she is still with him, then make a decision on whether your cousin should have an 'and guest'

I have to cut my list down as well. The only people who will be invited with dates are the ones who :

a) are living with someone
b) are engaged to someone
or
c) are in a significant relationship for at least a year

People arent going to like it but they are just going to have to deal with it. I'd rather have the wedding of my dreams than look at a room full of people I don't know who will more than likely be yesterday's news in a week or two.

I have been invited to weddings with guests when I wasn't in a relationship and rather than cause an added expense to the couple inviting me, I chose to go alone.

Also, keep in mind that when you invite someone with a guest, they also feel obligated to give a gift of bigger value that they may or may not be able to afford, as a 'guest/date' should never be obligated to give a gift.

thanks for your help everyone !

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Posted by ssdbk

Sorry, I believe that the single people are entitled to have someone accompany them just as much as the married people. I also think that it is not the bride and groom's place the try to judge how serious someone else's relationship is.

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i agree with this. but, we invited all singles with a guest, and most aren't bringing a date.

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Posted by gina&ken

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Posted by ssdbk

Sorry, I believe that the single people are entitled to have someone accompany them just as much as the married people. I also think that it is not the bride and groom's place the try to judge how serious someone else's relationship is.

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i agree with this. but, we invited all singles with a guest, and most aren't bringing a date.

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I agree with this, BUT I also think that any reasonable person should understand that if you are invited without 'and guest' its nothing personal, it all boils down to money. Even now, that I am engaged, there is not one part of me that cares if I can bring a guest or not-- because I know its nothing personal.

this was tough for us because when your guest list is at 330 and i have like 30 singles!!!!!

FH wedding party decided to not bring dateas (we were allowing bridal parties to bring a date if they wanted to)

we only invited people that are engaged or living together with their significant other

we have 2 people not happy but WE DONT CARE IF THEY DONT COME!!!
they are their for you NOT to entertain themselves

if someone asked me if we could we would but they didnt ...one responded no and the other didnt respond at all...TOO BAD!

we have many singles so it was ok and all of the singles were fine with it
you don't realize this until you see the cost ( i don't want strangers at my wedding)

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Posted by palebride

it's a tough decision - but it's completely up to you!
lots of people only invite people with a guest if they have been dating for a significant period of time, or are engaged or living together.
personally, i invited everyone 'with guest' tomake my life easier...so i didn't have to find out about every single single person

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I did the same, everyone is '& guest' I didn't want to have to pay for all of these people but its easier then figuring out who should/shouldnt be eligible for an 'and guest'