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And the nightmare continues...

Original post by bearsbabe_113

Twenty-two days after my father passed away, his sister, my beloved aunt, joined him and the rest of her family. And the fog that I've been in, has now become much thicker and I'm having a very hard time finding my way out.

This was a complete shock to all of us because my aunt was a person who lived life to the fullest. She would be 88 on March 12, the day after my birthday, but the woman looked like she was about 65. She still wore heels and makeup and WORKED as a meat wrapper in the butcher dept. of Scaturro's (a local supermarket in Astoria). And now I have to celebrate my b'day alone for the first time in my life. Not only won't my father be there, but neither will my aunt, who always shared a cake with me.

I took off on Thursday because we finally bought a new car and I had stuff to do and I also had to renew my license. The day started off happy and ended in a big blur. I had just dropped my mother off when she called me to say that the paramedics were at my aunt's and she was going over there. I didn't want her to go alone since we just went through the whole thing w/my father, so I decided to meet her at the hospital of friggin doom and death, Astoria General (now Mt. Sinai of Queens). I was praying the whole way to God and my father that everything was ok, but of course, nobody heard me.

And it was deja vu all over again. I get there and the security guard and nurses wouldn't let me in until the dr came to take me to a room where my mother was crying on the phone that my aunt passed away.

They say lightening never strikes twice, well it did for my family. February was the shortest month on the year, but it was the longest month of my life, not to mention the worst. Not only did my father and aunt pass away, but it's also the anniversary of their parents.

I left that hospital shell-shocked because I couldn't believe that God did this to me again. My poor mother, had to go through this all over again. She was just starting to get used to the fact that my father wasn't coming home and now she got hit with this. They were very close. I was extremely close to my aunt and another piece of my heart is forever gone.

I feel like I have nothing inside anymore. I was (and still am) a mess this whole weekend through the wake. My cousin was joking to my mother and said 'it's a good thing Debbie's job gave her the number of a grief counsellor' because they all think I'm on the verge. And I think I am also. Plus I'm just like my aunt and I'm the 'emotional' one. They lost their mother and grandmother, but they were all comforting me.

What are the chances that one family can be back in the same funeral parlor 3 weeks later? Or the same hospital for that matter?

I still haven't accepted the fact that my father is never coming home and now I have to deal with my aunt also. How is it possible that the 2 biggest influences of my life have left me with 3 weeks time of each other forever????? Why did they leave me???? Yet again, Gianna is never going to know another great person in her life.

I know that my aunt has been very depressed since her baby brother died. Her last words at the wake and cemetary to him were 'Dominic you left me all alone' and I told her she wasn't, she had me. But she didn't listen. My mother yelled at my father that he had to take his sister, so now leave us alone and pray for us. I hope he's listening because I really can't take anymore of this.

My aunt was in good health, but very heartbroken. My mother thinks she died of a broken heart. One of her co-workers came over for coffee for the first time and my aunt stood up and said 'I don't feel well' and collapsed on the floor, never to be woken up again. That poor woman who was there. I thank God she wasn't alone though and that she didn't suffer, but still it doesn't help any.

I feel like I am a walking zombie. Yesterday I went over to my aunt's and my cousin's were there cleaning out the apt and I had a hard time and I had to tell them to stop. I haven't let my mother do this yet, but they have to do this because the landlord wants it cleaned out.

Yet again, what should be a happy time for me is the worst time of my life.

Thanks for listening to me again and for all your support, I greatly appreciate it.
Jeanene Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...



Oh Deb, my heart is breaking for you and your family. I pray that you God gives you and your family the strength to deal with this loss.

Mary Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

My deepest condolensces. Try to keep strong and let's hope for better days to come. Meanwhile, keep hugging Gianna. Remember what I said about the guardian angel, well, now she has two!

phyl Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Deb I am so sorry for your losses.


please please FM me anytime. ...I lost my dad in a freak accident that happened in front of my eyes...and lost my mother a year later...all at the age of 21. I know there are others here who have had losses at even younger ages...

be strong..as you can...and I think it is a good idea to gather any pics of your aunt you can.
put them away for now. When u have the strength, u can put together an album for your little one...
Donna Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

I'm very sorry. I know what a whammy this can be and you're totally right it's a blur and unreal to be going through the same actions again.(my cousins lost their mother and father (my aunt & uncle) 6 days apart) I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you eventually find some comfort. Please if you need to, do call that grief counselor, sometimes it really does help.
allure Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Wishing You & Your family lots of peace
Victoria Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

I am sorry to hear of another loss in your family. I cannot imagine how you feel but it sound like you are carrying too much for your shoulders. Since you have expressed that you need help please see the counselor or anyone else you think may help you.
Lisa Rose Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

I have no words to help you through this very trying time in your life but I have lots of these for you and your family!!
IrishTracy Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Words can't even describe how sorry I am!!
bearsbabe_113 Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Again, I can't thank you all enough for your support. You are an amazing bunch of women and I'm proud to be among you!!!

I think I'm still in shock because there was never any question that my aunt would live to be at least 100. She was THAT full of life. The only comfort I have is that my father isn't alone anymore and neither is she. They have each other and are up there fighting with their other sister and brother and parents. Knowing my other aunt, she's probably yelling at them because they took so long to join her!





anna Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Debbie, Ive been thinking about you so much!

There are no words to help any of your feelings go away, but I know that you know my hugs and my ears are hear for you any time.

I thought of the 'broken heart' thing also when I heard about this.. who knows.. only God knows, but love is that powerful sometimes, especially between a sweet sister and her baby brother...

Ive always loved Scaturro's, my moms favorite place (and she REFUSES to call it anything else, no matter how many times its changed names ) and now it'll always have an even MORE special place in our hearts...

I hope to talk to you soon.

XOXOXOXO
Lee Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Deb, my heart is breaking for you yet again. I won't even try to put into words how sorry I am for you and your family. Please just take some hugs for you and Joe and your beautiful daughter and take all the time you need to grieve and mourn your losses.
JennRenee Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

You and I have talked, and you already know that I am here for you.


Call any time.

And don't be a stranger around here... we all want to support and comfort you!

ILT1221 Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Debbie,

I am so sorry for yet another difficult loss for you and your family. It is always the people who are left behind who suffer but the good news is your aunt is with your father and they are together now reunited as young school children again.

Deb my heart goes out to you and your family and I am truly, truly sorry. Even though Gianna may not remember them, you gave them the greatest gift by allowing them to see her and watch her from above.
Irene
Claud2001 Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Deb I am so so deeply sorry. When I heard this news today, I wished I could just hug you and make it all better. I am so sorry that I don't have the power to do that!

You are a very strong woman, and you will find your way back out of the fog, I promise.
And please remember that Gianna will absolutely know your Dad and your aunt, b/c she will have Mommy to share beautiful memories and help her understand just how truly special they both were!

HeatherandNick Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

I am so sorry for your loss
stacedz Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

I am soooo sorry for your loss.
MrsTC Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

oh gosh i am so sorry to hear this hang in there
sam Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

Debbie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it can be to lose 2 people in such a short amount of time. I know I found comfort knowing that I had 2 angels looking over me. Your Dad and your Aunt are still with you- in your heart. You just can't see them. And take comfort in the fact that your little girl has a part of them in her spirit and now has 2 angels to watch over her as well.
Dee7772 Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
chmlengr Posted:

Re: And the nightmare continues...

So sorry for your loss yet again. I'll be thinking of you!

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