Announcing PG on TTC Board...

And to think I almost didn't go on the computer tonight!!! Wow, I can't help but feel most of this is directed at me...(except Lisette and Kathy I saw your posts)
First of all let me say I post on here because TTC is(was) an area that DH and I wanted to surprise our family and friends with, therefore I got a lot of information from here instead of people I speak with on a day to day basis. This board was a place where I lurked, then when I felt comfortable I posted, and I eventually felt comfortable enough to share more information than I ever would have thought. Now, if I participated in threads like 'Who's in the 2WW?' to share a common bond with some people, should I then be expected to drop off the boards when I find out I am PG? What is the exact # of posts I should have to be able to make an announcement? You can't really fault people who are TTC and then do if it happens relatively quickly. I don't understand what it is like to struggle to conceive, but the board is TTC, very open to interpretation. Not being able to conceive was one of my BIGGEST fears in life. I have a friend who is having difficulty and when she opens up to me I can only listen and tell her I cannot even imagine how you feel. I am certainly empathetic towards this area, so I am sorry if I offended anyone.

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Posted by emc

And to think I almost didn't go on the computer tonight!!! Wow, I can't help but feel most of this is directed at me...(except Lisette and Kathy I saw your posts)
First of all let me say I post on here because TTC is(was) an area that DH and I wanted to surprise our family and friends with, therefore I got a lot of information from here instead of people I speak with on a day to day basis. This board was a place where I lurked, then when I felt comfortable I posted, and I eventually felt comfortable enough to share more information than I ever would have thought. Now, if I participated in threads like 'Who's in the 2WW?' to share a common bond with some people, should I then be expected to drop off the boards when I find out I am PG? What is the exact # of posts I should have to be able to make an announcement? You can't really fault people who are TTC and then do if it happens relatively quickly. I don't understand what it is like to struggle to conceive, but the board is TTC, very open to interpretation. Not being able to conceive was one of my BIGGEST fears in life. I have a friend who is having difficulty and when she opens up to me I can only listen and tell her I cannot even imagine how you feel. I am certainly empathetic towards this area, so I am sorry if I offended anyone.

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I feel the same way -- who knows how long I have been TTC? If I don't want to announce what day of my period I am on because I do not want to obsess, in the hopes of getting PG naturally, it does not mean that I am not TTC and have not been for years. I just had a miscarriage at 38 and yet I am genuinely HAPPY for those who announce their pregnancies!! That gives us ALL hope!!! I had been reading this board for a while but really didn't have anything to say - partially because I don't like using euphamisms (it's a period, not an AF for heaven's sake) - and as I said was basically AFRAID to obsess. BUT - I feel like I learned so much and felt joy as well as tears for other posters......but really had nothing to say until I became PG without having to resort to science - which was totally unexpected.

I think we all need to lighten up and be happy for our fellow women, weather it was 'easy' or not - you don't know how 'easy' it was for anyone.

Who is to tell me what consititues as a REAL TTCer and who is not?? 5 posts? 10? 50? We have enough watchdogs in our society today, thank you very much.

PS - I cry tears of happiness when I read a post about someone who has gotten pregnant - weather I have seen them post before or not!!

PPS - I have received emails from other older' brides who do not post here but ARE TTC and have followed my story - it is heartening and uplifting. We are all helping each other.

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Posted by Karacg
I think we all need to lighten up and be happy for our fellow women, weather it was 'easy' or not - you don't know how 'easy' it was for anyone.

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I would like to try, but after my struggles, I don't 'lighten up' very easily anymore. My spirit is broken and my heart is bruised.

As much as I want to be understanding for others, all's we are asking is for a little understanding and compassion back.
People are turning this thread into a few different things when plain and simple all some women are asking for is a little sensitivity, who knew that would be too much to ask.

I'm trying to say that I think everyone is sensitive -- I have cried over this board for months without knowing anyone - and I think people are genuinely happy when they see that someone is pregnant - it shouldn't take away from your struggle but give you strength. In some cases, they may have gone throught he same situations and may be able to share information...or have learned from you... I don't know, I just think we ALL hope for the BEST for everyone else here, whether we post or not. Some people just are shy or reserved or whatever and don't want to post their issues....

I know I am happy for all of you, despite my m/c.

I can certainly understand where you are coming from, not wanting to see random posts from people you do not normally see on TTC.

But, since the TTC board has begun, I have been a lurker. I have looked at it daily, I found out what a 2WW and an OPK are./..and just because I do not post, does not mean I am not a regular.

I am also familiar with how Redhead feels. I am not TTC yet, but we are thinking of it, taking in info, but are still a little scared to death to try..and therefore have decided we are not ready...but I think its because of all the struggling TTC stories I have read...I fear what can happen to me, how long it can take, etc etc etc...and I have learned the ins and outs thru the wonderful people who are on the TTC


Sorry if it seems like I am babbling, but just because some of us are a little more private, shy or do not want to broadcast when we are getting our period, or when we are having sex, or waiting to ovulate, does not mean that we do not belong here.

I must say tho, I get sad for the TTCers (and us potential TTCers) when a Pregnant woman posts ABOUT her pregnancy on the TTC board. Like, belly pictures, morning sickness stories, complaints about the pregnancy, doctors, tests, that irritates me and I feel those thins should be on the Parenting Board!


and baby Dust to all!!

I am sorry, I just want to make one more point:

What we should also remember and I think this part is very very important is that those of us who are having trouble could possibly be on hormone medication to help us get pregnant. Those hormone meds can SERIOUSLY eff with your emotions and you can't control it at all.
At that point, please feel very very bad for our DH's!

Maybe Ron could get rid of some of the less frequented boards (aka looking for love) and make a pregnancy board since Parenting is about people who have kids. And I certanly can see the feelings of the people who have TTC and suffered great loss.

I feel that the parenting board begins when you are pregnant. All throughout my pregnancy I posted all of my questions there. I don't think there needs to be a pregnancy board. Really that's one of the last things that this site needs. I like helping the newly preggers on the parenting board. I like sharing my experiences with them so that they can get the help they need. And I love reading about the new births. BTDT moms have a lot of advice to offer and I think to create a pregnancy board would hurt the amount of advice that moms would give.

I also feel that once you are pregnant you should announce it on Parenting, whether you post on TTC or not. Maybe I'm wrong but I thought a lot of the people on TTC board checked the Parenting board anyway from time to time. So you would see the announcement. The parenting board really does not get a ton of traffic and something that was posted a day or 2 ago could very easily be on page 1 or page 2. You wouldn't really miss the post. So maybe you wont get a ton of posts from your TTC friends right away but you will over time. To me this is like me posting when I had my daughter on the Yankee boards because that's where a lot of my friends are instead of on the parenting board. I knew my Yankee friends would see it eventually and I would get my congrats then.

I never understood why announcing a pregnancy was done on the TTC board. I did mine on parenting because it just seemed more appopriate to me. And I don't think it's fair to say if you a regular poster on TTC then post there but if you're not you should post on parenting. Some people don't post 100 posts a day but they may feel they are just as much a part of the TTC board as someone who does. So it's really not fair to say, hey you don't post here enough go share your news on parenting. It should be one or the other.

I'll try to clarify the message of this topic:

TTC board is for anyone & everyone to post on. Whether it's to ask/answer TTC Qs, or show support to other TTCers, or whatever. In no way, shape, or form, did I intend for anyone to misinterpret this post as it meaning that only the regulars should post on this board (then again, MAYBE we should make it a 'club', and have initiation periods -- no pun intended, and I was kidding about initiation ).

That being said, the point of this topic, was 'warning' that pg announcements, from posters who have not struggled (or at the very least, never vocalized their struggle), on TTC board can seem unkind & insensitive to some TTCers.
In other words, ladies that are pg, are not TTC anymore, so IMO they shouldn't post their great news to ladies who have made a great effort to TTC, or have lost a pg & are TTC again, UNLESS they had relationships with ladies on the board (primarily by frequenting it) and are 'graduating' from the TTC board.

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Posted by june262004

Maybe Ron could get rid of some of the less frequented boards (aka looking for love) and make a pregnancy board since Parenting is about people who have kids. And I certanly can see the feelings of the people who have TTC and suffered great loss.

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I was just thinking the SAME thing this morning!! We have a TTC board and a parenting board but a PREGNANCY board would really help bridge the gap between the two!! Not just for pregnancy announcements but also for all of us to go when we are PG to discuss different stages of pregnancy, questions, concerns etc. Even last night when the post came on TTC about the 'bloody show' and losing your mucus plug...a 'pregnancy' board would have been geeat for that.

I agree - get rid of 'looking for love'...send those people over to match.com!!

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Posted by kelleherkm


I agree - get rid of 'looking for love'...send those people over to match.com!!

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I second that ---That's where I met my prince charming!!!!

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Posted by Bride626

OK...but when you are pregnant, you are not 'Parenting' either. I announced my pregnancy on here a few months ago even though I was a lurker for the most part and had only been TTC for a few months. At that point, the pregnancy was still a big secret but I was so excited and I wanted to 'tell' someone, even if it was strangers. I don't think there should be rules about who 'qualifies' to announce their pregnancy on this board.

I'm not on LIW all that often but I do think some posters have become like 'board nazis' and get all bent out of shape about which posts are posted where. I think that is silly. (Although, I do at least see that with respect to this issue, it is sensitive to some....however, when people complain that Brides to be are posting on newlyweds...seriously, who cares? If that is your biggest problem in life, then you are doing pretty well.)

Anyway, baby dust to all!!

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Ditto! Well said...

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Posted by Karacg

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Posted by kelleherkm


I agree - get rid of 'looking for love'...send those people over to match.com!!

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I second that ---That's where I met my prince charming!!!!

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I THIRD that.
You are not going to be llooking for love on a wedding site