Announcing PG on TTC Board...

---

Posted by FeliciaDA
I think everyone at first lurks on TTC before you actually announce that you are officially trying to have a baby. I know that's what I did, I've been lurking here ever since I was married, mainly just wishing people good luck and sending BD, etc. before I finally got up the nerve to announcing a month or so ago that Dh and I actively trying to conceive

The issue is not that you should not be allowed to post on TTC or parenting or wherever. This forum in particlar is a great place to learn so much based on the experiences of those ladies who have been TTC for awhile and have 'graduated' to the parenting board.

The issue being discussed here is when you see posters who have hardly, if at all, posted on TTC but then come here to announce when they are Pregnant -- this when noone even knew they were trying to get pregnant, or don't really even know them per se. Is it wrong that they are doing this? Well no, of course not.. But I do in fact think its just a little strange (at least IMO it is strange) that if you never really posted on TTC much and you didn't really have that bond with the girls here who have been posting about testing, symptoms, charting, their personal experience with TTC etc, to then come HERE to announce a pregnancy. In those cases, wouldn't it make more sense to go over to the parenting board to make your announcement, no? Most of the TTCers also read the parenting boards (at least I do) and will still offer the same congratualtions nonetheless

As for those girls who ARE here and posting about TTC and all sorts of questions, well to me then it makes perfect sense to announce when you get your BFP and when you are preggo!

Again - I said it before, I am very happy to hear of ANY pregnancy announcement, no matter what the board! BUT sometimes I think that perhaps for the ladies who are really struggling wtih infertility and to then see an overabundance of preggo announcements from people we don't feel like we 'know' (on a board where the majority of the ladies are still trying to conceive ) Well I just think it gets really hard and that some discretion might be advisable, and that the proper place to announce in some cases might be Parenting.

JMO

---

Perfectly on point... all of it.

Decided not to add my 2 cents- I am sorry If my announcement hurt anybody, but I also hope it gave hope to anyone in the same boat as me, with irregular periods that were told they were not ovulating.

Baby dust to all!

I am with Redhead on this one. I've been on the boards since 2002 and I guess am a 'lurker'. I read the TTC boards every day but don't post questions. I get excited for everyone who posts good news and truly feel for those who are having tough times.

The comments here make me feel like I would be considered an offensive poster if I got PG and posted the announcement here just b/c I am not an 'active' member of the TTC boards.

just my 2 cents...

Ok,.....I think what can upset someone....is when a person hasn't experienced what it's like to 'try' to conceive.....and they just conceive, and then announce, the pregnancy, in an insensitive nature.


LIKE GUESS WHAT GUYS...I AM PREGNANT....DH AND I WEREN'T EVEN TRYING, NOW WE ARE HAVING A BABY...OH GOSH, I AM NOT EVEN SURE I WANT A CHILD RIGHT NOW BUT I GUESS IT WILL BE 'COOL'.

An announcement like that, can be annoying....!

I think it's absolutely great, when I read of someone who got a BFP....but perhaps the pregnancy announcements should include some of the details...of what it took...for that couple to conceive.....so we can actually learn from their success. JMO

I think what some people have to realize is that there are a lot of people who read TTC and Parenting to get advice and tips that do not want to announce they are TTC and/or don't post a lot. A lot of people actually post on TTC who have not even started yet looking for advice (like me)......

I understand what you are all saying, but that being said, when you get pregnant and you have been reading the TTC board for awhile AND you want to tell everyone you are pregnant you will post in the excitement. I don't think anyone would of done that had they thought it would upset or hurt any TTC's.

When i first read this post i could not figure out what it was that was upsetting to some of you, but i got it towards the end. I was a little shocked just because since i know some people who lurk on this site and even are members i probably won't announce i am TTC but i would of announced it here if I did get preggo without any thought.

I do agree though that even if they never posted and post that they are preggo that they should share their experience with everyone on the TTC board especailly if it took awhile to get preggo.

Baby Dust to everyone!

OK so here is my thing...

I am having a LOT of fears anxieties about TTC..

Just tell me where i should address these?

ETA....I am not trying to ruffle any feathers but i am now in this mode and are just looking to find girls who are like me or in my situation!


HONESTLY i thought this was where i should post...


ALSO...i really think this is the place...I thik my thoughts and fears and excitement about getting PG IS in the realm of TTC...NOT Parenting...

AND i think that Me posting that i am scared..that if i got PG right now this second might not be what i want NOW....SHOULDN'T bother the people who are ttc and having difficulty...

THis boards is about the enitire realm of TTC...NOT just those struggling...

Hmmm Redhead, I think you should be able to express your fears and desires here. I think you can be open and honest here and judged less, the in the real world.

I was really saying that it's the nonchalant attitude of being pregnant, that might irritate those who have been ttc.

There is nothing I want more than to have a baby/child....however, I am sure I will be scared out of my mind the day it happens.

I purposely chose the word 'cool' in my little dialogue , to express, the non chalant....attitude. lol I don't think being pregnant is 'cool' or being a mother is 'cool'..... I think it's a gigantic blessing.

Hopefully, I made myself clearer in what I was trying to say.

---

Posted by redstar

Hmmm Redhead, I think you should be able to express your fears and desires here. I think you can be open and honest here and judged less, the in the real world.

I was really saying that it's the nonchalant attitude of being pregnant, that might irritate those who have been ttc.

There is nothing I want more than to have a baby/child....however, I am sure I will be scared out of my mind the day it happens.

I purposely chose the word 'cool' in my little dialogue , to express, the non chalant....attitude. lol I don't think being pregnant is 'cool' or being a mother is 'cool'..... I think it's a gigantic blessing.

Hopefully, I made myself clearer in what I was trying to say.

---

Well i don't want to irritate anyone...because again..i am not in full swing yet...party because of my anxieties about it.

And am just looking for someone or someones to talk about that with...

My take on this is that if you are pregnant, you are not ttc.

that's about all I have to say about that.

---

Posted by brideinapril

---

Posted by xjulietx

I am neither TTC nor pregnant, but I would think that after sharing the struggles of TTC, the newly pg's would want to announce it here. That's like announcing your engagement to you married friends so your single friends don't get hurt feelings.

---

I have to say I agree w/xjulietx- I felt like I went through all the ups and downs right here on TTC this is the first place that I wanted to share my news, I didn't think it insensitive at all. I also didn't get upset when others would announce their wonderful news when I was struggling at the TTC.
I felt like this is where I started and although I still post here to try to help or encourage - I ask any questions I have on Parenting. But when I was going through my TTC I felt like I got to know some of you, if I upset anybody by posting my news I apologize.

---

I agree with these statements in the fact that when I was ttc the people who helped me the most were the PG ladies who were always there with an uplifting statement and guiding light. Seeing all of the girls on the site get PG and their ups and downs gave someone like me hope that i too could get PG, even though I was not supposed to be able to have children. When I announced I was PG I announced it on this board as did all of the other girls that were on this board then. The girls were all excited like all of us would and will be when anyone announces they are PG. All of us PG or not applaud the news of being PG no matter where it is posted. I have had my ups and downs and so have many others here and on the parenting board but no matter what all of us came from this board or now the ups and downs of ttc. Some times a PG announcement is the happiest thing on this board that i always saw as a glimpse of hope, and couldn't wait until it was my turn.
I wish you all tons of baby dust and I hope that when I announce I was PG 6 month ago I didn't offend any of you. I lurk on this board to see how you are all doing and see if I can ever offer any advice. Wish you all the best, Baby dust to all.

---

Posted by RedHead

---

Posted by redstar

Hmmm Redhead, I think you should be able to express your fears and desires here. I think you can be open and honest here and judged less, the in the real world.

I was really saying that it's the nonchalant attitude of being pregnant, that might irritate those who have been ttc.

There is nothing I want more than to have a baby/child....however, I am sure I will be scared out of my mind the day it happens.

I purposely chose the word 'cool' in my little dialogue , to express, the non chalant....attitude. lol I don't think being pregnant is 'cool' or being a mother is 'cool'..... I think it's a gigantic blessing.

Hopefully, I made myself clearer in what I was trying to say.

---

Well i don't want to irritate anyone...because again..i am not in full swing yet...party because of my anxieties about it.

And am just looking for someone or someones to talk about that with...

---

Redhead, we are all feeling the way you do...This board is definately about sharing our fears and worries about TTC among everything else. I'm TTC and scared out of my mind. You are always welcome to bounce off anything.

I am also thrilled when someone announces they are pregnant and wish them the happiest and healthiest of years to come. I know my time will come.

---

Posted by lilmrs

My take on this is that if you are pregnant, you are not ttc.

---

OK...but when you are pregnant, you are not 'Parenting' either. I announced my pregnancy on here a few months ago even though I was a lurker for the most part and had only been TTC for a few months. At that point, the pregnancy was still a big secret but I was so excited and I wanted to 'tell' someone, even if it was strangers. I don't think there should be rules about who 'qualifies' to announce their pregnancy on this board.

I'm not on LIW all that often but I do think some posters have become like 'board nazis' and get all bent out of shape about which posts are posted where. I think that is silly. (Although, I do at least see that with respect to this issue, it is sensitive to some....however, when people complain that Brides to be are posting on newlyweds...seriously, who cares? If that is your biggest problem in life, then you are doing pretty well.)

Anyway, baby dust to all!!

I agree with this and wanted to just say so because it became such an issue of people not understanding what was meant.
Redhead-
What I think the post was about was this is for women TRYING TO get pg, thinking about it etc..like you and me...And lately there was a sudden burst of I'm PG news from people none of us have seen on this board , they werent supporting those of us on here, posting their questions or anything and it made a lot of people who are trying real hard to get pregnant feel weird. I can admit I felt like 'Woah' ..who are you a few times in the last few months, and more so lately.

If I were to get PG I WOULD announce it here, but I wouldnt frequent this board to talk about all my PG questions once I was pregnant or talk about my pregnancy because I wouldnt want those trying to feel bad and really the topic is TTC so why would I post it here? I feel like Im known on here, and I think I may be off base feeling like I have more of a right to post my announcement then others, but to risk getting flamed, to be honest, I still feel that way simply beacuse I've felt the longing when I see an announcement of someone I dont know because it feels( may not BE but FEELS) like its just the congrats, the good times they are here for.

I know that didnt make much sense, I just hope no-ones feelings get hurt and we can talk openly, this is a hard board on occasion, there is a lot of emotions involving this. I wish congrats and baby dust to ALL!

---

Posted by RedHead

OK so here is my thing...

I am having a LOT of fears anxieties about TTC..

Just tell me where i should address these?

ETA....I am not trying to ruffle any feathers but i am now in this mode and are just looking to find girls who are like me or in my situation!


HONESTLY i thought this was where i should post...


ALSO...i really think this is the place...I thik my thoughts and fears and excitement about getting PG IS in the realm of TTC...NOT Parenting...

AND i think that Me posting that i am scared..that if i got PG right now this second might not be what i want NOW....SHOULDN'T bother the people who are ttc and having difficulty...

THis boards is about the enitire realm of TTC...NOT just those struggling...

---

Red, you got the overall message of this topic all wrong. No one is saying for you, or anyone else in your shoes of being anxious/scared to conceive, to find another board to post on. In fact, you're in the absolute right place to express your concerns & seek advice.

The point you missed about this topic is that I was advising people who have PG Announcements to not post it on the TTC board, IF they hadn't frequented the boards in the 1st place. Get it now?

---

Posted by chichila15

---

Posted by RedHead

OK so here is my thing...

I am having a LOT of fears anxieties about TTC..

Just tell me where i should address these?

ETA....I am not trying to ruffle any feathers but i am now in this mode and are just looking to find girls who are like me or in my situation!


HONESTLY i thought this was where i should post...


ALSO...i really think this is the place...I thik my thoughts and fears and excitement about getting PG IS in the realm of TTC...NOT Parenting...

AND i think that Me posting that i am scared..that if i got PG right now this second might not be what i want NOW....SHOULDN'T bother the people who are ttc and having difficulty...

THis boards is about the enitire realm of TTC...NOT just those struggling...

---

Red, you got the overall message of this topic all wrong. No one is saying for you, or anyone else in your shoes of being anxious/scared to conceive, to find another board to post on. In fact, you're in the absolute right place to express your concerns & seek advice.

The point you missed about this topic is that I was advising people who have PG Announcements to not post it on the TTC board, IF they hadn't frequented the boards in the 1st place. Get it now?

---

I just have a question then....if i am Redhead (or myself) and i have been asking questions on these boards its obvious that we are thinking about TTC but have not started. Lets say me and DH start to TTC and i don't want to announce it but still frequent this board to see what others are doing or going through and i get pregnant three months into TTC...does that mean we should announce it on Parentling....i know this sounds weird but maybe the Parenting board to someone like me is a board to someone who is going through raising a child, or having a newborn. This would be the first place i would want to post about being pregnant, i think that is what you guys are not understanding......and even though we get pregnant it does not mean it will 'stick' so we look more to this board to talk about it....i see nothing wrong with this.....that is just my take on this matter.

---

Posted by SeptWed
This would be the first place i would want to post about being pregnant, i think that is what you guys are not understanding......and even though we get pregnant it does not mean it will 'stick' so we look more to this board to talk about it....i see nothing wrong with this.....that is just my take on this matter.

---

But this is not a pregnancy board and as happy as everyone will be for you and your BFP, this is not the board to discuss being pregnant...unless you want limited answers, limited know how and lots of hurt feelings.

---

Posted by SeptWed
I just have a question then....if i am Redhead (or myself) and i have been asking questions on these boards its obvious that we are thinking about TTC but have not started. Lets say me and DH start to TTC and i don't want to announce it but still frequent this board to see what others are doing or going through and i get pregnant three months into TTC...does that mean we should announce it on Parentling....i know this sounds weird but maybe the Parenting board to someone like me is a board to someone who is going through raising a child, or having a newborn. This would be the first place i would want to post about being pregnant, i think that is what you guys are not understanding......and even though we get pregnant it does not mean it will 'stick' so we look more to this board to talk about it....i see nothing wrong with this.....that is just my take on this matter.

---

On the contrary, that is exactly what I'm trying to convey. For example, Brtflygirl (Shana) posted on the TTC board last week that she got her BFP. EVERYONE, including myself, was completely excited for her, because we all knew about her m/c, her TTC progress, supported her, etc, etc... In other words, Shana had been posting on the TTC board, feeling out comments, questions &/or concerns. She didn't come out of the blue to spread her news on the board... we were anxiously WAITING to hear if she got her BFP.

As I said earlier, people are going to post whatever, whereever, but I think some should use a little common sense in posting on a 'sensitive' board.
If there's a 'Balding' board out there, a random person wouldn't just post 'Hey, I was on a date with this girl that ran her hands thru my full head of hair.' on that board, would they?

---

Posted by chichila15
If there's a 'Balding' board out there, a random person wouldn't just post 'Hey, I was on a date with this girl that ran her hands thru my full head of hair.' on that board, would they?

---

If there's a 'Balding' board out there, a random person wouldn't just post 'Hey, I was on a date with this girl that ran her hands thru my full head of hair.' on that board, would they?


Ok that has got to be the best analogy I have heard in a long time.....I am still laughing from it. :) hehhehe thank you I needed that