OK so FH parents havent offered us any help so far with the wedding and we arent expecting it cause as most of you know FH and I are 12 years apart and his parents are old so they are on a fixed income. Well our E-party is saturday and they havent offered a dime, me and my parents are paying for all of it ( FH paid for the kegs he just started a new job and doesnt have too much $$ comming in right now cause its part time)
So anyways......i know they are on a fixed income and cant help much but his mom was asking about our registry and stuff. SO steve said ' get whatever u want' I look at our registry last night and someone bought out knife block set! I was excited then realized it was $200!!! I think his parents bought it. I am happy they thought to get an expensive gift but i would have rathered get the $$ for the E-party or to put towards a vendor! Am i being a biotch for feeling annoyed that they bought a gift instead of giving $$??? sorry so long!! lol I havent had to vent in a while lmao!
angl2001
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
thank you! lol yeah we werent gonna have one because we thought :
1 people would say we waited too long ( witch we did but nothing was set in stone till jan of this year)
2 we didnt want people to look at it as us looking for gifts.
i really dont care if we get gifts or not. I was just saying that since they did wanna do something i would have rathered them offer help with something not go out and buy something. you pretty much hit it on the head chickie!! lol
I love reading your posts you are always so great!
bemyyoko
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
i understand where you're coming from. My FMIL isnt contributing at all. At this point she says she's not even coming... so maybe it's differant but before this drama got out of hand with her... she said she'd pay for the band. Untill she heard how much your typical wedding band was. then she said she wasnt gonna help with anything. Which is fine, it's her money she can do what she wants with it. We then found a band in her suggested price range and she said no. Fine again. BUT she keeps adding people to the guest list, a lot of people, telling guests we planned on inviting that they can bring a date when we didnt budget for it... and telling us all these extra things we HAVE to have. As if the wedding my parents are paying for is a dowery to her!!
i can totally relate to you, not that your fh's family is like that, i dont know them. but i can relate to feeling selfish and greedy when it comes to wedding stuff.
jsta76
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
Posted by bemyyoko
i understand where you're coming from. My FMIL isnt contributing at all. At this point she says she's not even coming... so maybe it's differant but before this drama got out of hand with her... she said she'd pay for the band. Untill she heard how much your typical wedding band was. then she said she wasnt gonna help with anything. Which is fine, it's her money she can do what she wants with it. We then found a band in her suggested price range and she said no. Fine again. BUT she keeps adding people to the guest list, a lot of people, telling guests we planned on inviting that they can bring a date when we didnt budget for it... and telling us all these extra things we HAVE to have. As if the wedding my parents are paying for is a dowery to her!!
i can totally relate to you, not that your fh's family is like that, i dont know them. but i can relate to feeling selfish and greedy when it comes to wedding stuff.
We had a similar problem, FMIL had more guests on the list than my parents and me combined! Finally we put our foot down. We gave them a choice and said that if they paid for the extra people,they could invite them. They decided no so we took the majority of their friends off the list.
Espo22
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
Posted by angl2001
thank you! lol yeah we werent gonna have one because we thought :
1 people would say we waited too long ( witch we did but nothing was set in stone till jan of this year)
2 we didnt want people to look at it as us looking for gifts.
i really dont care if we get gifts or not. I was just saying that since they did wanna do something i would have rathered them offer help with something not go out and buy something. you pretty much hit it on the head chickie!! lol
I love reading your posts you are always so great!
Just don't let it get to you and don't harp on it, i know its hard not to do. You just stress yourself and aggrevate yourself and just will make for unpleasant situations later...If you stay mad at them it will continue to be an awkward situation and your relationship with them wont grow...If you just let it go then you never know the possibilities. BUt of course things are always easier said than done lol good luck and just enjoy your party once it starts none of this will be on your mind
kellybean
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
I feel the same way with FH parents.....however though they never offered help other then a small check when we got engaged...and didnt seem to want to do much other then compare the cost of our wedding to the cost of his sisters in Colorado and show their concern for how much we are spending,,,,and they dont even know how much we are spending ....when they came out here to visit they suprised us with a generous offer to help.....we were both Floored....so maybe as it gets closer they will offer to help more .....I would be frustrated in your situation too...FH parents claim poverty....but just had a brand new house built ....I want to be that poor lol.....Hope it works out and that you get to enjoy your E party!!
angl2001
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
Thanks girls you are awesome!
MrsD71208
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
Hey, at least you have your family helping..we have noone! We're on our own and just bought a house...gotta do what you gotta do.
Mizzdimple
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
Posted by MrsDtoBe
Hey, at least you have your family helping..we have noone! We're on our own and just bought a house...gotta do what you gotta do.
Very true
angl2001
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
well some help anmyways but we are acting as if we dont cause we dont know what the cut off if. 95% is us tho and you are lucky you have a house! we dont even know where we r living!
ILOVEBRIAN2008
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
i understand where you are coming from..except im sorta on the opposite Fhs parents have been so nice and helpful and my parents have not offered or said a single word about helping out...Fhs parents are throwing the engagement party..helping us by paying for some of the vendors (dj, flowers, and limo i think) and my parents havent said a single word!! i almost feel bad for FHs parents cause i kinda think they are helping out more then they should bc they feel bad that my parents arent doing anything...so i know where ur coming from...its not about the money its jsut the fact that they let the other side of the family take over and dont even offer to help in any way
AmandaLynn04
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
I didn't read every post, so, I apologize if I am being redundant. I am not having an e-party, for me, I felt it unnecessary, esp. because this is FH's second marriage, and his ENTIRE family is in Baltimore.
Also, the majority of the wedding is being paid for by my parents and us. I do not expect his parents to contribute esp. since this is his second wedding.
I can see where you are coming from and that you would rather have the money, BUT, I do think maybe they feel it was too small a gift to give as cash. Just my opinion.
Snowflake08
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Re: annoyed and feeling greedy......kinda long
maybe they were short on cash and wanted to use a credit card
