Any 'Encore Brides' out there?

How many of you ladies are 'Encore' Brides, getting re-married? What are you doing differently this time?

My fiance was never married before and wants all the bells and whistles, while I would have been happy with a ceremony and quiet dinner with family but I'm doing all the fanfare again - for him. I'm asking him to make a lot of the decisions because A) He's embracing it and B) It'll definitely make it different and OURS.

What about you? Are you wearing 'the dress'? Are you wearing white? Doing the garter/bouquet thing? (I got out of that one! ) Are you going for an annulment? Will someone be walking you down the aisle? What about a wedding party? Any advice?

Any

After posting this, I see that 'Encore Bride' has more than one meaning! I'm looking for brides who were divorced and are re-marrying. :)

Re: Any 'Encore Brides' out there?

I am! This is the second time around for both FH and me, but we're still doing a full celebration. We didn't feel it had to be any less special just because neither of us got it right the first time around. Plus FH's kids are SO excited for the wedding and being a part of the ceremony (and of course, the party)!

We are very much doing it together to make it OURS and are working out a lot of very personalized details. A good friend of ours just got ordained as an interfaith minister so having her perform the ceremony will make it extra special. While we're not exactly sure what we're doing yet, we know we want to involve the kids in the ceremony itself somehow, which will certainly make it different.

I am wearing a white dress (pix in my albums if you want to see it). I was open to ivory or something similar, but I wanted to keep it fairly traditional as I still wanted to feel like a bride. The garter/bouquet thing I'm really undecided on. A friend of mine gifted her bouquet to the couple at the wedding who had been married the longest (it just 'happened' to be her parents), and I thought that was really sweet, so that's a possibility. My dad is still walking me down the aisle, but I think I'm going to talk to my friend the minister about what to say when we get there, because he's certainly not 'giving me away,' I've been out on my own a long time. However, I'm close with my parents and I think we'd all feel weird about it if Dad didn't walk with me.

I felt like I was compelled to have a small wedding party, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't eliminate people, so we have 7 on each side (including FH's oldest as Jr. Best Man) plus the two younger kids as flower girl and ring bearer.

As far as advice goes, I think the best that I can give is to do it for the TWO OF YOU. If you decide you want to do city hall and dinner for two, go for it! If you want all the bells and whistles and want to have a huge, elaborate wedding to celebrate your love, DO IT! There will be people naysaying and rolling their eyes no matter what, so just take it with a grain of salt and do your best to ignore it. You'll NEVER please EVERYBODY (even if it was your first wedding), so just make sure the two of you are happy. That's really all that matters. Early on in the planning, I was so concerned with what other people would think or say and I was driving myself crazy. I had to get to the point where I decided I didn't care. As an example, my grandmother INSISTED I not wear anything even close to white, but in the end, she kept her mouth shut when I chose a dress. I chose what was right for me, something I know my FH will love, and if she wants to sit there at the wedding thinking 'I can't believe she wore that,' it's her own loss.

Other people may remember your wedding for years, they may be important in the celebration, but in the end, it's YOURS. Do it for the two of you, so that you can look back fondly on YOUR wedding, not the wedding other people believed you should have.

Happy planning!!

Any

I'm wearing the white dress too; I'm not sharing that for just the reason you mention about your grandmother. FH wants ALL of my friends as BMs, plus my daughters, plus his sister. Yep. We're talking about 8 BMs here. lol And he's having 5 guys. I finally gave in to him on it because - who wouldn't want to be surrounded by their besties on the day? I happen to be blessed with 5 of them outside of my daughters. It's going to be crazy, but a fun kind of crazy. Both of us have lost our mothers and they will be remembered at various points in the ceremony/reception. It'll be a good day. :)