I was asked to be a BM in my friend's wedding...for May or June of 2005. I graciously accepted! Now they're talking about moving the wedding up a year to July 2004. My wedding is 9/3/04...I'm feeling like I'm going to be extremely stressed around that time and am now having second thoughts about being in the wedding. It will be a lot of money - between her shower, bachelorette party, wedding gift & my BM attire - ON TOP OF *my* own expenses for my wedding.
Have any of you been in a wedding just a couple of months before your own? How'd you handle it? Am I being selfish/rediculous thinking I can't do both??
jenny2penny
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Re: Anybody in this situation before (or currently)?
I would definetly be honest. You should know the expense of being a BM, and she too will begin to understand
michele31
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Re: Anybody in this situation before (or currently)?
I would just tell her that, of course, she has every right to change her date to whenever she wants but if she does you don't think you will be able to dedicate as much time to her since your wedding will be so close and also, if she does move the date up you would greatly appreciate her chosing a less expensive BM gown due to the financial obligations and your FH have with your own wedding. Also, speak to her mother sooner rather than later. will she be hosting (aka paying) for the shower or will she expect you to. You should be VERY honest with her mother that you will NOT be in a financial position to do so and you wanted to speak with you now about that.
I wouldn't just drop out, since I am sure this means a lot to her but I would give her my honestly about time constrants and money.
Jordan
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Re: Anybody in this situation before (or currently)?
Her mother lives in Michigan - as far as I know, she will not be involved with the shower. Not even sure if she will be there - weird relationship. So as far as I'm assuming, it will be the BP that will be paying for the shower.
I thought more this weekend...and I think I was feeling slighted b/c of some of the rude comments her FH has said to me about what my FH & I have been planning. I have continued to be the better person and bit my tongue...but I felt this latest 'one-upping' was the last straw for me (he is constantly pushing this competition-thing with us - for instance...when my FH was promoted to Director last summer, (and this guy is Director at the same company within the same IS/IT department) he didn't talk to us for the REST OF THE SUMMER!!). Anyway...I feel as though I can handle being in it. I figure the shower will be in May and the bachelorette party in June - that's IF they keep this July 10th date...so I can handle it. I think.
