Anyone have a FH that isn't excited about wedding plans?

Hi ladies... Even before we got engaged (we were together for 6 years prior) I knew my FH wouldn't be as eager and as excited as me to plan our wedding. After we got engaged (April '01), I was so excited I wanted to book everything within the next month even though we were planning on having a 2 year engagement. We waited a month before we started looking at reception sites and meeting with our priest. I took my mom and his mom to about 6 or 7 places before narrowing my choice down to 2. I took my FH to the final 2 and we made our decision together in June '01. We booked our church and reception within the same week and my FH did not want to be bothered for the next few months! Well, I took my mom to some bridal shows since she is just as excited as me. We then started looking at photographers (without my FH) and after seeing 3, I found one that I loved. I asked my FH if he wanted to meet the photographer and he said no. So, I booked it and that was that. Since I was content with having my church, reception site and photographer all squared away by Thanksgiving, I didn't bother my FH with any more wedding details. I went on my happy way, being home checking the net and reading my bridal magazines while chatting with my girlfriends about the big day. My mom and his mom have been great, so I'm so thrilled about everything. My FH feels that this is more 'my day' than his and that if I like something I should just go with it. Anyone else having similar feelings???

They are men

That is the common cry of most women that I have spoken with. My FI only wanted to go to see the major vendors all the planing has been left up to me. I know at first I took it as he did not care, but its not that, they are just not interested in the finer details as we are. Happy planing

Don`t worry about it

My FI is the same way. He thinks of it as my day as well. He is so excited to BE married, but he totally doesn`t care how we get there. He knows that he will have a great time at our wedding, but he would be just as happy if we ran off and eloped. It doesn`t bother me very much, though. To him the big picture is our life after the wedding. I have just started all of the planning, but I have heard 'I trust your judgment' enough to know that I will be doing this by myself! Becky

Finally someone going through the same thing

My FH & I have been dating around 3 1/2 years & we have a child. So he wanted a Vegas wedding (NO WAY) So we decided on a wedding @ Stewart Manor that's the most he wanted to input. I see web-sites & wanted to show him he just says yeah yeah!! I realize we're not getting married until May 2003 but it does get frustrating!

Do you see any men on this web site?

I think this is a pretty common thing. My FH asked me to print out my check list of things to do...I got a bit excited thinking that he may pick a few things to help me with, but instead he just said 'Do you think you'll be able to get it all done in time?' Oh well. I try to get him involved sometimes and ask him his opnion on things but like someone else said, they are just not interested in the details of it all. So when I see his eyes start to roll (which usually doesn't take long) I know it's time to end the wedding talk.

I guess my fi is the minority

He has been great! At times he seems more excited then I am. He goes with my every time I go to check something out and he is really interested, even to the point of picking out our favors.

Anyone have a FH that isn`t excited about wedding plans?

my fh feels the same way that this is my day and that i should just do whatever i like...sometimes it upsets me other times i feel like it is better because i organize everything the way that i would like it to be.....i thought i was the only one with this issue...good to know that i am not

Stop bragging, Denise :) *NM*

Becky....

I hope you are kidding. I wasn't bragging. I was just sharing!:-) Isn't this a forum we can all post our experiences. Believe me just because he goes with me everywhere is nothing to brag about! So once again, I really HOPE you are kidding.

Denise - I know what you mean!

I love that my FH is so involved which really surprised me because I really didn't think he would be THIS into it. I love it too because I feel like we are getting even closer and I didn't know that was possible.

angie3

Thank you.

fiance involvement

I'm glad for the 2 of you that your fiances are involved, but the question was for those of us whose men aren't as involved so we can gripe about it. I'm sure Becky was joking, but it does sound a bit like bragging when the other girls who just posted have different situations. My fiance isn't involved at all and although I resented it at first, now I think it's better cause I can do it on my own and surprise him with a beautiful day!

fiance involvement

Oh forget you girls! I guess I shouldn't waste my time posting here if everyone is going to be so critical. I guess some people are jealous, otherwise, it wouldn't bother them! Maybe the stress of planning the wedding, is getting the better of people. What a shame! I am sorry to have bragged, I guess.

Jacki

I didn't think anyone would mind if I responded to Denise, I just knew what she meant and shared her enthusiasm. That's why I put Denise's name in the subject line so that i was really only trying to respond to her and just her. I'm sorry if i upset you. Everyone's situation is different and what works for one may not work for someone else. There may even come a time when I regret him being so involved! (LOL)

Denise

Of course I am kidding!!! Everyone has different relationships and wedding planning mates. I almost died laughing when Angie posted about her fiance checking out flowers. Flowers! I could not picture my football coach, phys ed teacher FH looking at one single flower, let alone arrangements. But, I certainly don`t think there is anything wrong with that. Its very sweet. I`m not judging. There is no right way. Please don`t be offended. I was totally kidding. Trying (and apparently FAILING) to be funny. Becky

Anyone have a FH that isn`t excited about wedding plans?

Becky - I assumed you were kidding. And it was cute, however, then everyone had a door to put there two cents in. Really I was not bragging, I know now you don''t think I was but apparently Jacki and I am sure others do. Why would I brag becuase he goes with me. That is really silly. He is definitely the minority (crazy probably in his friend''s eyes) and that is not something to brag about. I was really just sharing. But I got so upset and said and posted things I shouldn''t have. Having a bad day to begin with. Oh well. Hope all you girls can forgive me. Denise

fiance involvement

I agree with both Jacki and Angie. My fiance isn`t as involved as he was in the beginning and I also resented it; but I also had to take into consideration that our work schedules are totally opposite each other. He works 3-11pm Tuesday through Saturday and it`s hard to try and make appointments with vendors when we`re both available. I commute to Manhattan for work and my day is pretty much shot by the time I get home. Fortunately, I have a very helpful bridal party :) When I went to go book my DJ, one of my bridesmaids took the ride with me and we wound up having a lot of fun. When I went to book my photographer, my mother came along. As Angie said, everyone`s situation is different. My fiance may not be physically involved in coming to appointments, but he does ask me how they went and what I picked out and he`ll throw ideas around and that was a decent compromise for me because then I don`t have to hear him rant about the cost of things...LOL.

FH involvement-Denise

Denise, I didn't mean to get you so upset. I really didn't think you'd have such a reaction to what I said. I'm not jealous of the fact that your FH is involved and mine would not rather stay home and watch a ballgame. He's just not interested in things like flowers and ribbons and favors. I'm sorry you're so upset over this.

Jackie

Well I am sorry I overreacted. I am just having a very bad day. No harm done I hope. Thank you for the posting. Denise

Anyone have a FH that isn`t excited about wedding plans?

No problem, Denise. My concept of what is 'funny' consistently gets me in trouble. I`ll never learn! Sorry to have opened that door. It certainly wasn`t my intention. Becky