Anyone have somebody in their wedding party they wish they could tell to go away ???

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Posted by Future Mrs.

yep....all of them. If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't have had a bp. THey've done NOTHING, except cause unnecessary $.

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really? do they know that? That really smells.... I;m so sorry

uh, me! i had a very bad situation so i kicked out my one of my college friends out of the bp.

she pissed me off so bad she said in an email ' first you chose 4th of july weekend, a holiday weekend etc' some more ******** too so i kicked her out and ended the friendship

but then we ended up talking it out and now we are fine! thank God!

but it got real ugly!

Thankfully I do not

I know that sometimes because of family members we have to do things we don't want to do but what I don't understand is why ANY of you are letting these ladies put a damper on your day!

this is YOUR DAY! I found some info that maybe a few of you can pass on to your BM's:

Who pays for attendant attire?
The attendant is typically responsible for purchasing all attire and accessories. Brides and grooms should be mindful of their attendants' budget ranges, and should select outfits that won't break anyone's bank. It's also a nice idea for brides to give their bridesmaids an accessory piece to wear on the wedding day as a bridesmaid gift -- and for the groom to do the same for his groomsmen.

Who's responsible for overnight accommodations, flying, and other travel expenses?
Generally, the attendant is in charge of any costs associated with traveling. Many couples (or their parents) rent blocks of hotel rooms at a discounted price, so you may get a discount there. It might also be a good idea to room with another attendant or guest who you know so you can split the cost.

What should my role be if I'm a long distance attendant?
Being a long distance attendant isn't always easy, and chances are you may not have a lot of the same 'fun' responsibilities that attendants who live near the couple have. You may support the bride or groom by phone or email, however, and if you're a bridesmaid who lives in an area where the bride has a lot of friends and family, you may want to host a 'long distance shower.' It's a good idea to get the contact information for the other attendants so you can keep up on all the wedding details.

What should I do about an uncooperative bridesmaid or groomsmen who refuses to put any money or time into the role?
If you're the bride or groom and you are having difficulty dealing with an attendant, you need to tell them how you feel. Be polite, but make it clear that when you asked them to be your attendant, you thought that they would be taking on more responsibilities. If they continue to be uncooperative, you may have to remove them from the wedding party and select another person to fill their role.
If you are a Best Man or a Maid of Honor and you have an attendant who is refusing to help plan or fund certain pre-wedding events, first talk to them about the situation in a straightforward but non-confrontational manner without involving the bride or groom. Listen to what they have to say, and if you feel the situation requires it, you may want to make it clear that if they continue to be uncooperative, their duties may be taken away. For example, if a bridesmaid is not doing her part in planning for a bridal shower, her name should not appear on the invitations as a hostess, and she shouldn't be consulted regarding any planning decisions.
Depending on the personal dynamics and general wedding stresses involved, you will have to weigh up whether or not you want to consult the bride or groom about the situation. You can't force them to not include an attendant in the party, but they may have better persuasive powers over the attendant in question.

How do I inform my attendants of their duties?
Many couples are now sending out 'attendant newsletters' in order to keep their attendants up-to-date on any wedding information they may need. Or, you could just tell them personally what you expect. Also consider sending them to

Congratulations sweetie! Of all the girls that the bride has met in her lifetime to date, you stand out above the rest. She has had many sleepless nights making this big decision. She knows that who she picks will make some happy and others upset.
The title of bridesmaid comes with responsibility and cost. If you don’t have the time or money to be a part of a wedding party, there’s nothing wrong with turning the bride down and just coming as a guest. Many friendships have suffered because a friend was too scared to say, “Sorry, I love you but I can’t.”
The bill for being a BMs is between $200.00 to $500.00+. The totals will all depend on formality of the wedding, cultural background, size of wedding, your dress and your budget.
The bride and her Maid of Honor will look to you for help many times during the planning stages and on the wedding day. So, what do you have to do?

BRIDESMAID’S DUTIES
• Help the bride plan her wedding.
• Listen to her plans with a smile on your face.
• Make time for group dress shopping trips and fittings.
• Pay for your bridesmaid’s dress, even if you hate it. You can let your feelings be known but the bride has the final call on what you wear.
• Help addresses and assemble wedding and shower invitations.
• Help wrap and tag guest favors.
• Help the Maid of Honor plan & pay for a shower.
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Help decorate ceremony and reception locations if necessary
• Stand in the receiving (optional)
• Sit at the head table
• Have a dance with the groomsmen
• Offer to help the Maid of honor when needed.
• Help load gifts into car.
• Help with clean-up at the end of the night (for all the different events)

umm..my my mother in law?

YES YES AND YES!!!!!!!!!

I also have one girl that I wish would just tell me she doeen't want to be in it!!

I can finally say no.
I am happy with all that are left from the 'originals' and the 2 newbies I added recently!

It's like breathing a sigh of relief that I just made the above statement.

Actually no. I lucked out because I only asked my Best Friend to be my maid of honor. I kept it real small.

I'm not sure what the problem is, but maybe you should tell them how you feel. Good Luck.

yes, one girl

I did. I just told her that I only want my BP to be family, so she's out.
She was being a real BIT*CH, and I couldn't take it.
She stop speaking to me for a while, but I still invited her to the wedding. Of course she came.