Anyone have their wedding or a special event when.... (UPDATE, Rehearsal Dinner)

Original post by LoveJoy432004

Mar 31, 2004 04:33 PM

a family member or close love one was in the hospital or (God forbid) died near your wedding day?

How did you deal?

My grandmother went into the hospital on Sunday, we just found out she had a massive stroke and has little brain activity. She is on a resperator and can't breath on her own. My family is pretty much going to have to decide what to do. I am really close with my grandma and it is hard to be happy for my upcoming wedding (this saturday).

Sorry for such a sad post.

dita531 Posted: Mar 31, 2004 06:37 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

butterfly20 Posted: Mar 31, 2004 06:52 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

i so sorry that is happening, i would think that most grandparents would want us to continue on, and afterwards share with them the pictures and video from the day....

its very tough to say what to do since i havent had it happen to me.. however right before my sisters wedding my grandma needed a triple bipass, she pulled through it but had to stay in the hospital and miss my sisters wedding, the one where she kept saying she was looking forward to, and that she'd be gone before mine... The day of the wedding we took pictures, and before we went to the church stopped off at the hospital to see her... she liked seeing us that(although now she doesnt remember it) but it made her happen then, and my mom felt better knowing that her mother got to see us...

CathyB Posted: Mar 31, 2004 07:00 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

I'm very sorry you are going through this.

My maternal grandmother was in a coma for my wedding (she's since come out of it) and I admit that I really didn't want to go on with the whole big wedding. But it was a good thing for my family. It gave everyone a break from all of the stress and for a few hours we could all get away from it. Not that you forget, but it's a good diversion.

I'm really happy now that we had everything that day anyway, I lost my paternal grandmother very suddenly five months later and I now have my video and pictures to look back and remember how happy she was for me.

HTH

Lorena Posted: Mar 31, 2004 07:05 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

I don't really have any wise words, just wanted to send

nan&dave Posted: Mar 31, 2004 07:07 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

No advice really, but I think that you should do what your grandma would want you to do. Good luck.

regi Posted: Mar 31, 2004 07:11 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

If you talk to your dj or videographer they should be able to have a tribute for your grandmother. You could show a video montage of your grandmother, or play a special song.

I am so sorry.

Smolokoff Posted: Mar 31, 2004 08:56 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

I'm sure she knows she is in your thoughts and prayers, but I don't think she would want you to postpone the wedding for her. My grandmother would say that me getting married is the most important thing, and she would come second. You could have a special prayer said during the ceremony, or make a speech or something at the reception in her honor.

eogara Posted: Mar 31, 2004 09:01 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

I personally have not had this but my SIL's father died less than three weeks before her wedding to my brother. It was extremely hard on everyone but at the same time, they knew they needed to go on. Her mom and brother walked her down the aisle (it would have been her dad) and it was extremely emotional. while there was a tinge of sadness to the day, it was still a celebration of their marriage.

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother but I think it's good that you realize how happy and proud she is of you and FH. Keep that in mind thru the next couple of days, it will help tremendously.

jill13bean Posted: Mar 31, 2004 09:03 PM

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I am so sorry you have to go throught this...
I hope everythihng works out

LIPrincess00 Posted: Mar 31, 2004 10:08 PM

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I want to say how sorry I am your going through this.

kimmie Posted: Mar 31, 2004 10:50 PM

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My FSIL got married right after her grandfather died and he asked to be buried in his tux from her wedding. She told the florist to make sure that they didnt send his boutineer over with the order but guess what it was there. She was soooooo upset.
I will pray for you and your grandmother. Im sorry for all of the sad going on in your life but your grandmother would want you to be happy.

smilealways Posted: Mar 31, 2004 11:34 PM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

Similarly, my FSIL worked on the 104th floor of Tower 2. We were all lucky in that she left right away and managed to get out - unfortunately, her company lost 67 of its 180 employees including people she was close to. Her wedding was less than a month later. I know it was a hard time for everyone, but it was also a celebration and a time of happiness in the sorrow. The ministers (her FIL and MIL) took a moment during the ceremony for quiet reflection and remembrance, which was hard, but nice.

to you and the hard decision you have to make. I agree with what others have posted, I'm sure she would want you to celebrate your love and joining of families, even though it will be hard.

LoveJoy432004 Posted: Apr 01, 2004 12:25 AM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

You all gave me good advice, I am doing what grandma would want me to do. Thanks

cocoa Posted: Apr 01, 2004 07:26 AM

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Good luck with all of this.

babybride Posted: Apr 01, 2004 07:57 AM

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I am so sorry and will keep your grandma in my prayers. But I agree with everyone else - she would want you to celebrate and enjoy the day!

FLaCaTaCa Posted: Apr 01, 2004 09:10 AM

Re: Anyone have their wedding or a special event when....

Good Luck to you and your grandma!!
I am sure she would want you to enjoy your day.

I cancelled my Sweet 16 because my grandma passed away but we had to fly out of NY to attend services, otherwise I would have went through with it.