Posted by Bellez95
oh no please dont fight over this I am totally doing enough of that
whats his story maybe I need to see an outsiders point of view??
I spoke about it with my FH and he sided with you, for what it's worth.
Cancelling the rehearsal dinner might solve things for now, but you need to figure things out long term.
What if you and FH take some time and sit down separately and each make a list of what you want to accomplish with the rehearsal dinner, and what is important for each of you.
FH might make a list that says:
- spend time with family and friends
- acknowledge that my mom is paying
- give my mom some contol over what happens
- minimize expenses for mom
- dont hurt mom's feelings
You might make a list that says:
- everyone have a good time
- make sure nobody's feelings are hurt
- enjoy this traditional wedding event
there are ways to compromise and keep everyone happy. you can ask your FH if his mom just does not want your friends' SOs there, or if it's really something underlying it (cost, feeling insulted that you would pay because she's doing an inadequate job, feeling that she should know everyone there, feeling that you arent appreciating her contribution, whatever)
i really cant think of any reason why she would just not want your people there.
maybe you could introduce her to your BP members? (probably not practical, but you could offer). maybe you could emphasize that you really do appreciate her help, and this isn't meant to take away from that in any way.
i dont know what to tell you but hopefully you can work things out
