Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

First, let me say that I do not have a good relationship with my Father, which all of my friends and family know. Therefore, I do not want to be walked down the aisle by just him. I feel that it would be fake, as if I were just going through the motions.

I am on the other hand close with my Mom and want her to be acknowledged. Even though my Father has been cruel to me in the past, I cannot have just my Mom walk me down the aisle...that would not be right.

So, I thought of having both my Mother & Father walk me BUT the aisle in my church is VERY narrow and we will not fit. THEN, I thought of having my parents be the last ones to walk before I walk down by myself. I am leaning towards this last option.

What do you all think? Has anyone had a similar experience? I am trying to do what's right but also feel comfortable on my wedding day.

Thanks for your help with this difficult situation!
Jessica

Re: Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

Maybe your father can walk you half the way, and your mom meet you in the middle and walk you to the altar? I've never seen this done before, but have heard a few suggest it.

My father passed away a few yrs ago, so my mom's walking me down.

Re: Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

My friend went through the same thing. she ended up having just her brother walk her down (he was her Father figure) She explained it to her Father & although he was hurt I think he understood why. I think you should not care what looks 'appropriate' just go with what you feel in our heart. I'm not saying to do anything in a mean way just do what you feel is right. I hope this helps!

Re: Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

I have a VERY similar situation. I have decided to walk myself down the aisle. I was going to ask my brother but realised then (and with the help of everyone on this board!) that it would be completely obvious and apparent (perhaps even embarassing to my father) to my guests that my relationship is poor with my father.
I understand that this is a hard decision and you need to do what feels right to you.
I personally dislike the symbolism behind the father giving the daughter away as well.
Best of luck to you with this and keep me posted on what you've decided!

Re: Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

what about someone else? when my sister got married, we didn't even know if our father was going to show up (long story). so she asked me to walk her down. he ended up showing up so it wasn't necessary. i think following your parents sounds great. just go with your gut feeling.

Re: Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

I am probably having my mom walk me down the aisle. I have a very difficult relationship with my father. I have a great stepfather. My birthfather is in a wheelchair on oxygen due to emphysema (after years of smoking). I didn't want to hurt my birthfather's feelings but the church aisle is narrow so I explained that he wouldn't be able to fit along my side with my dress poofing out and his wheelchair. I explained that there wouldn't be enough room so I asked him to wait up front & we will walk up to him. I think it would be great if you have your parents walk down right in front of you.

Re: Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

I love the last option...your parents walk down together and you walk down by your self...

I think it solves the problem...without hurting anyones feelings (no matter what has happened in the past)

Re: Anyone NOT having their Father walk them down the Aisle? LONG

I wanted to walk down alone since I feel that I have not been under my father's care for many years and am the only person who can 'give' me away. But after hearing threats of boycotts if I didn't allow my father to walk me down I decided to have both my parents. Neither should be honestly. Although I love my parents very much I have been on my own for many, many years and have had them hurt me many times in the past. But I am going to have them only walk me to the 3rd Pew, where they will be seated. I am walking myself up to Scott.

Re: Thanks!

Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. I have crammed my brain over this so much since I have gotten engaged. But, after much thought and consideration, (and help from all of you) I have decided to have both my parents walk before me and I will walk alone. It really is the best option so that I feel comfortable, but no one's feelings get hurt.

Thanks again.

Re: Thanks!

That sounds like a great compromise. I have a good relationship with my parents, but have been on my own for many years. The thought of been 'given away' seems a little strange to me. I may use your idea and follow mom and dad down the aisle.

I think it's very thoughtful of you to be so concerned about everyone's feelings. Glad that you found something that will make all involved feel comfortable.

Whatever you do, I'm sure you'll have a beautiful wedding!! Best wishes!!

Re: Thanks!

My mom is walking me, she has been a single parent and I don't think anyone else deserve that honor. She is now married and my Stepfather is a wonderful man, but I still want to reserve that honor for my mom. I will dance with him.

Its your day and you have to do what makes you happy.

Happy planning

Re: Thanks!

J&A - That was my favorite solution that you have chosen to do. I'm sure it will be great, and will save hurt feelings or any resentment.

Since my father passed away, I wanted to walk alone, but in the Jewish tradition, the father and mother walk the bride down the aisle. I couldn't break my mother's heart, so she is walking me down. It's not that we're not close, but I feel so empty without having my father there.

Good luck!

walking down the aisle

I am having my grandfather walk me down the aisle. My father will be present, but I did not feel that I am his to give away. He hasn't been around for much of my life. My big worry is what to do when my FH dances with his mom. I do not want to dance with my father, and I think it is going to be awkward since FH will dance with his mother and I will dance with nobody. I think to dance with my grandfather would like I am doing it just to do it. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it though.

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