Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

My FH and I have been living together for years. We have everything we need and really don't find it necessary to register. Truth is, we both feel that registering is a little obtrusive. We feel that people shouldn't be obligated to purchase what you tell them to and should feel free to give what they can. I understand the concept behind it and if it works, that's great! It's our choice not to. ...but now I find myself in a bind?! Guests are asking me if I registered, and I know come bridal shower time, there may not be many gift options for the invited. What do I do? Am I looking at this the wrong way? Both our parents are a little annoyed by this. Should we just give in and go with the tradition? If so, what do I register for? Or does anyone have any alternate suggestions? Thank you :)

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

REGISTER!!!!

If you and FH have been living together, is there anything you want to replace? I know DH and I lived together for 3 years before our wedding, but everything we had were hand-me-downs from our parents. This way we got all brand new stuff of our own.

Also, people are going to want to buy you gifts for your shower anyway. You're better off registering for stuff you actually want and/or need than not, because then people will just buy you stuff they *think* you want, lol.

You could always do a honeymoon registry if all else fails.

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

i understand where you're coming from-- truth is some guest will look at it like 'Well i guess they only want cash' and will actually get turned off

Other guests may feel weird giving gift cards or picking out gifts without knowing your taste

so as much as you dont want to register... maybe registering for some basics will help your guests out

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

oh! How do you go about registering for honeymoon? What if we still haven't even discussed the honeymoon and have no idea where we are going??

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

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Posted by Elsalvitalian

oh! How do you go about registering for honeymoon? What if we still haven't even discussed the honeymoon and have no idea where we are going??

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try signing up on HoneyFund.

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

@PazzaRagazza: Ultimately I was thinking that we should just register because I do see what you are saying. I just don't know what to register for but I guess replacing old stuff is a good idea, and yes I can see some people getting turned off by assuming we only want cash.

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

@ NikkiB0401: thanks!

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

I think it's actually more considerate to guests if you DO register. i understand you'e saying you don't want them to be limted to buying you the gifts you ask for, but they aren't. Even with a registry, people will still buy you other gifts if they want to. The registry gives people a guideline for what you really want/need and saves them the potential embrassment of showing up with something someone else also brough to that you'll return later. I first thought the same way you did. like it's really presumptuous and tkaes the fun out of gift giving, but it's actually a considerate thing to do for your guests. it makes life easier for them

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

I understand where you are coming from with living together. People kept bothering me about i was registered and I had not plans on registering at first I only registered for things I was going to upgrade myself. I even bought something off it before the shower because I didnt want to wait anymore.

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

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Posted by NikkiB0401

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Posted by Elsalvitalian

oh! How do you go about registering for honeymoon? What if we still haven't even discussed the honeymoon and have no idea where we are going??

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try signing up on HoneyFund.

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We did this. it rocks!

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

Keep in mind registering is a modern day thing. Back in the day, according to my mommy lol, she didnt register!! It was you just get what you get - people just bought things that they would think a woman starting her life w/ a husband would need. So really the whole 'you telling them what to get you' is really just b/c of technology!

I had the same issue when it was time to register - i didnt like that I was telling people what to do but still calling it a 'gift.'

Like Laura said - just register! I am sure there are some things that need an update that you keep pushing off or things that you always really wanted but just kind of put off b/c of $$.

Or maybe do a honeymoon registry or register at different kinds of places, like Home Depot. Just b/c you register doesnt mean you have to do all kitchen and bathroom stuff - think outside the box a little bit as to what things you and FH would really like.

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

Good ideas!!!! Thank you all!! I welcome more ideas! LOL

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

did you check out My Registry ? You can register in one place for multiple stores/items. My friend did this and you can register for a vacuum from Sears, a lawn mower from Lowes, balsamic vinegar from Williams Sonoma (which is amazing btw). They were re-doing their home at the time and set up a list of building materials and their cost. I bought her a bedroom door and window. Check it out - it's really cool.

My DH and I have both been on our own for many years and had a lot of stuff. We decided to register for beautiful plain white dishes from W-S that could serve as casual and elegant. We use them all the time.

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

I am going to do a honeymoon registry and then just a few things from a store registry in case someone wants to physically give a gift.

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Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

I would register for all the stuff I always wanted but never bought for myself cause I don't NEED it... a Roomba, china, crystal, EXPENSIVE sheets and towels... I'm sure you could use updates versions of SOME things. And you'd be surprised what kind of nifty new gadgets there are out there for the kitchen!

people can go inw ith each other on those kinds of gifts and whatever you get, you get, which is great cause you don't need to worry about not getting stuff you need... like getting all your dishes but having no towels... becaus eyou have everything you *need*

If people are going to expect that you register, then why not?

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

i was going to suggest honeymoon fund, but someone already did.

do you have specialty things like fine china, great flatware, a le creuset pot, other cooking electonics, a wine refrigerator or even pieces of furniture that's available at the usual 'registry' places... like a shelf, frames, lamps? think about 10 years down the line istead of what you need now, since you have that already!

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

We were in the same boat- there were a few things that we wanted, but we already have good pots & pans, etc.

We decided to replace our dishes and towels, and get a few new things (vacuum, steam floor cleaner, Keurig, knives). We also registered for random things on Amazon that we would just ultimately buy ourselves anyway (new tupperware, K cups for the Keurig, brita filters)

We made two fairly small registries at Amazon.com and Macy's.

Then we made a large Honeymoon registry, and tried to direct people to that. Most of the physical stuff was given to us at the Shower (there are a few rogue bowls and cups still hanging out at Macy's), but a few went off the HM registry.

I think the HM registry will be used more for the wedding for people that want to give gifts as opposed to money

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

Def register and replace things and upgrade!!

People will end up giving you things that you will hate or already have and you probably won't be able to return.

Also, BBB let you return things for cash for the things you get duplicates of or just change your mind.

Honeymoon Fund is also great idea!!

Re: Anyone not registering for Wedding? What do I do?

Uhhh i love when i press send and it signs me out!!

I know what you mean.. its the same way i feel about honeymoon reg. the way i was raised and imo its tacky. Maybe thats old school italian but my fam would say we'd either pay for it or if you cant afford it then you dont go away. How about best buy? Everyone always can use a nice big tv lol or does a bedding store have registeries? A new bed is always nice