Re: Anyone scared of getting married?

a little scared...yes

Re: Anyone scared of getting married?

I do agree that people don't take marriage seriously anymore. A marriage, a huge commitment is WORK. I see it all the time, people lay back in their relationships and expect things to automatically happen. Some people don't communicate very well, or show emotions when the other person may show feelings and expect it in return.

Divorce is not a word that will ever be in my vocabulary. You have to work everyday to keep your relationshop, hot, healthy, and rewarding. I tell my FH I love him at least a dozen times a day, and a thank you, or I appreciate what you do goes a long way. I leave post it notes in his lunch he takes to work with little nothings written on them. When we had different schedules, we always left notes for each other to read to catch up, spill emotions. I have a whole black book of lovey dovey sweet nothings that we read together. Ok I am getting sappy now..

Life throws you curves all the time, what matters is how you handle it, work through it and learn from it.

Re: Anyone scared of getting married?

Yes Beth, I went through that and am still dealing with it 7 months after being married!!! It's something you both need to address and adjust to....you have to learn to compromise and know that your decisions affect someone else now. It's great because now, I have this deeper concern for myself and him...because we are here for each other through thick and thin and we can overcome anything TOGETHER. That's what marriage is about....TOGETHERNESS.

Re: Anyone scared of getting married?

Nov04LIBride, I'm with you! I have only a little over a month left before the wedding, and I'm terrified. Not necessarily of divorce, because I don't think statistics apply to individuals, only to the group as a whole. But it's the 'forever' part that's scary. Sometimes it makes me scared that ten years or forty years from now I'm not going to want to be with him anymore. And then sometimes it makes me scared to know that he's the one whose death will someday devastate me (or vice versa). And sometimes it's just the idea that I don't get to make all my decisions for myself anymore that's scary.

Basically, marriage is a HUGE committment, and I think we're just having normal jitters. Better to think about all this stuff beforehand!

Re: Anyone scared of getting married?

From an optimist w/ a cynical bent, I didn't feel ready for marriage for YEARS - even though I started dating my FH in '98 - b/c of several factors, of course. Emotional immaturity was one, wanting a fulfilling career in the arts before 'settling down' - a phrase I detested - was another and fear of becoming another statistic was a 3rd. What a foolish way to live/think. I have matured greatly since realizing I am finally ready to get married and it's been nothing but a growth experience for us both. In fact, we moved in together in Jan., which I thought would help us see how we are on a daily basis and I must say that seeing dirty clothes on the floor or his not washing dishes as well as I'd like (all that anal stuff, I guess ) has helped me to see what's truly important. These are little things.
Of course, if we married w/out living together 1st, the change would've been something to get used to, but we would've managed. However, getting to see him every day/night, knowing that we are in this together, as a team, and have discussed how divorce is something neither one of us will take lightly, opening communication lines, etc., has made us closer and closer. Communication and honesty is key, trust (woof, that's a hard one) and love, of course. Realistically, divorce has been on the rise and it is mind-boggling to think about all the planning and exorbitant amounts of money spent to marry only to end in a divorce. But, for now, we're all committed to live our lives together with someone that will constantly keep us guessing. I learn new things about him still and realize I'm not alone.
We are all going to make it if we truly want it to work. I think people divorce if they give up on trying, or if one person does something so sinfully/unlawfully bad and the other feels betrayed. I guess I used to be so afraid of divorce and finality, before even thinking about starting, that that is what stopped me from realizing a beautiful future w/ my FH was possible. I'm glad that I was blind, but now I see...
I don't know if I'm making sense and this is so long. Sorry! Having hope and faith will take us a long way!!

Re: Anyone scared of getting married?

I think you are going to be OK! If you had SERIOUS doubts about getting married, you would be posting under some psuedo-name asking for advice..

I called off my engagement, and when I was thinking about doing it I posted on message board for women and men who were dealing with cold feet..and I swore that thier stories were being told by me. I do NOT get that feeling from your situation at all..If you were REALLY having SERIOUS doubts about getting married you would know it..You cant sleep or eat and all you do is cry..I went from 140 to 115 lbs in 2 months..and didnt even realize that I was losing weight..

Dont worry about this feeling you are having..It will pass, you will have your fairytale wedding, and you will live happily ever after