Are you getting a prenup? what do you think of them?

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Posted by Lucky0510

the last thing you should do is try to trap him by making him feel like he has no options. With a prenup you and him have more protection... just in case. It's not a plan for failure. It's a guarantee of yours and his future no matter what happens.JMO

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'trapping' would imply that he has more to lose financially than I do, which simply isn't true. We're both in the same career path, with ultimately the same income potential.

I feel compelled to explain my perpsective... and it can be summed up in two words: TRADITIONAL CATHOLIC

I am hardwired from birth, and it has been stressed to me throughout life that it is an absolute last resort (i.e.- go to counseling if there are arguments, divorce is pretty much reserved for hardcore events like domestic abuse!)
While everything you say is reasonable, from my background, it's simply should not be done. Consider it to be the meeting point of theology/culture with law/modern world. My perspective remains on the traditional side.... to me, no escape hatch should be built in.... no matter how prudent. sorry....

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Posted by Lucky0510

Thats a really cute idea. Too bad when a marriage goes bad and people end up filing for divorce you see their true colors. Divorces get ugly most of the time. You cannot expect someone to be completely fair when their emotions get involved. The one emotionally hurt ends up trying to hurt the other financially. It's not right, but sadly thats what happens. A prenup is one of the only ways to protect yourself should the unthinkable happen. JMO

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I think you might want to rethink the word 'cute' It sounds very condescending in this context - and I am certain that was not your intent..

I stand by my plan and my reasoning. If we were to seperate I would WANT him to walk away with half of OUR assets. Even if I acquired 90% of those assets through inheritance or work - I want him to have them. He is my partner. He is my equal. It is important that our relationship be on even ground. It is important to me that our marriage not start out on unequal footing.

In fact, this post has made me want to see if there is anything my attorney can draw up that will put half of 'my' assets in FH's name so that there is no question as to my will and intent.

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Posted by diva7531

We don't have many assets that are worth a prenup, but our pensions are another story. We just agreed that I wouldn't go after his if he won't go after mine!

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Same here!!! But my family keeps suggesting one and FH says he'll sign but I don't think there is a need

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Posted by cookieling

FH owns a company, so we are going to get one. It's less about us and more about making his clients and business partners more comfortable. But believe me, I'm going to try to make it in my favor as much as possible! HAHA! If it wasn't for his company, we wouldn't get one.

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yeah thats basically the same for us... FH co-owns a buisness with his brother so we will probably do one soley b/c his brother wants it... hell if his brother gets married his wife to be should sign one too! i dont want some crazy b*tch stealing our money!!!

We have no separate assets, only debt (my 3 years of law school loans) and he has his own much smaller school loan debt. If I had substantial assets, or owned shares in a family business etc. then maybe I would want FH to sign one but considering that we have no assets and anything we build together in the future I feel he deserves half of that. I don't think pre-nups are horrible or that if someone wants their fh/fw to sign one it means you don't love each other. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce, a prenup is more like insurance. Look at Nick and Jessica. When they got married, Jessica didn't want to sign a prenup (at the time Nick had more money than she did and his group was pretty popular) don't you think in a way she regrets that now that she's made much more money in the long run and now has more to lose? I agree with those who say that when it comes down to it, people change and people are sometimes vindictive when it comes to divorce. If I had kids from a previous relationship I think to protect them I might have a pre-nup.

A lot of people seem to feel like if you have a pre-nup that it means you're thinking you'll get divorced. The way I see it, I never plan on getting divorced so if FH wanted me to sign a pre-nup that left me a pair of red shoes and a toothbrush I'd sign it because I know it would never be used/invoked.