are you giving up alot more?

FancyMe1018 Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:12 AM

are you giving up alot more?

I am sooo upset things have been going from good to bad lately.
I love love love my FH but lately he has been getting on my last nerves. I am moving to NJ Aug. 1. Leaving my family friends and job behind me to start my new beginning with my FH in NJ. Surely I will keep in contact with everyone but I am just feeling slighted major. I want to go out this Friday and spend time with my Family for fathers day and all I feel is that he does not agree with my feelings. I will not see my family alot and these last two months all I want to do is try to get things in order for the wedding and spend time with friends and family I don't think he understands that once we move in together we will not have much time for this at all. Will have more bills =Responsibility does anyone else feel this way?

Help!

Espo22 Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:15 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

you need to talk to him and express this...relationships are a 2 way street and he needs to give in too since you are sacrificing.

futuremrsmultari Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:16 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

Posted by Espo22

you need to talk to him and express this...relationships are a 2 way street and he needs to give in too since you are sacrificing.

Nicely put, Denise!

bemyyoko Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:21 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

I can sort of relate. When i moved in with my FH i obviously saw a lot less of my parents b/c i'm not living with them anymore.
Sometimes I get upset b/c we seem to do a lot more with my future inlaws because we live in the same town, heck, we live on the same street as a few and around the corner from the rest.

You really need to talk to him about it. This has the potential to become a bigger problem in the future.

Don't freak out yet or anything though. It's possible he just doesnt get it.

Good Luck!

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:30 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

You definately need to talk to him about this.

When i moved in with FH way back when, i definately saw his parents way more and to this day still see them more than my parents.

Sometimes i dont see my dad or mom for weeks.
And i see his parents every week when we all go out for dinner. I am used to it, i talk to my dad on the phone alot. and i talk to my mom on the phone too. We all live in nassau county too. But my parents dont bother me cause they realize i have my own life and am making a life with FH and his family.
It will get easier i promise.

FancyMe1018 Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:33 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

I have told him already like a million times and I don't think he's getting it at all

FancyMe1018 Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:34 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

yea totally I am moving two doors down from FMIL and FFIL which eh is okie for right now because the rent is great

Espo22 Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:36 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

Posted by FancyMe1018

I have told him already like a million times and I don't think he's getting it at all

then you need to show him its not acceptable and don't do things just because it's what he wants....go do your thing and what you feel is right, and show him that it doesn't only have to be his way

kellybean Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:39 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

You cant be the only one sacrificing.....it will cause bigger problems as time goes on

Jesses Girl Posted: Jun 13, 2007 10:47 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

you need to express that your family and friends will always be a part of ur life no matter how far you move. he has to understand u are giving up a lot for him...that you deserve time of your own.

i dont feel this way at all with my FH but i know how it COULD feel.

talk to him.. make him understand ur upset.

Mizzdimple Posted: Jun 13, 2007 11:18 AM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

I am giving up alot...but I don't care! Its for a good cause...

Hes doing things too..like moving back to the city for a couple years which he hates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Think of it as an investment!

AmandaLynn04 Posted: Jun 13, 2007 05:49 PM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

It's a really REALLY tough situation. I gave up EVERYTHING to move out of state where the only person I knew was FH. I left all of my family and friends.

There have been times where I had to remind FH what I did for him, and he quickly re-realized.

You definitely need to sit him down, and tell him that it is putting a strain on your relationship.

Lie to him if you have to, tell him you are re-thinking things, if that is what it takes for him to understand what you are going through.

It was really hard for my FH to understand, he left home at 18 to go to college and never went back.

HTH, good luck!!!

ETA: I kinda cut this short, FH came home, but, if you ever need to chat with someone who went through it, FM me!

Autumn08 Posted: Jun 13, 2007 06:36 PM

Re: are you giving up alot more?

I relate to you 100%! Lately things are not like they were and I know part of it is just stress. I'm in school and work hard opposite hours he does. Plus his mother is very sick which is putting so much stress on him and he's just not into talking about his feelings and whats going on. It is important to talk about things and feelings. Yes you need to make compromises in a a relationship but you should never feel as if you are compromising yourself. As Denise said he has to give a little too. But definately talk to him sometimes guys think they are helping and don't realize that they could be doing more.