are you kidding?!

I will actually be really surprised if we even make 10k in gifts. I love gifts...don't get me wrong. But since our wedding is out of town for everyone it means so freaking much for people to make the travel plans, pay for the hotel and come to our wedding. We have a lot of friends in really bad money situations and I would never want them to be embarrassed with giving a less than 'exemplary' gift.

I have gotten caught up in not wanting to let my younger cousin's bring dates because it's one more plate to pay for...but if it means them having a better time. Then I'm all for that!

aaahaha
I bet EVERY single one of you will be counting your gifts at the end of the night though!!!

We shouldn't expect, but it's nice to recieve a generous gift.

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Posted by AMJA

aaahaha
I bet EVERY single one of you will be counting your gifts at the end of the night though!!!

We shouldn't expect, but it's nice to recieve a generous gift.

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Exactly! All I'm saying is that when you go to a wedding you give a gift - whether it's $20 or $2000, you give/get it.

wow look what i started. oops!

anyway, all i'm saying is that it SUX. no i do not expect to get thousands from ppl but yes, i do expect something. but either way it is all about the day i marry the love of my life yada yada yada. but we have these lavish parties for our guests.
If you're not worried about the gifts and money why have showers? i'm sure all of us had registries. By registering aren't we expecting gifts??? So how is this different?

If the wedding is all about us, then why go through the trouble of spending $150.00 a plate and having beautiful halls when going to the local pub is much cheaper and they have good food and we can all dance the night away!!!

So for all of u that say its not about the money (and not all of it is, But it helps) then why don't we put on your invitations that no gifts are required.
And the whole point of having an all out wedding is to make the GUESTS comfortable and have a good time, because in reality, we (the newlyweds) are already happy with just being married.

so i'm not trying to start fights or any big debates, i just wanted to state a lil point. that's all.

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Posted by leshellem

Maybe I'm reading this all wrong, but it sounds like some of your girls weddings is a gig, in which you should be compensated for. I'll be the first to say that it would be nice to get money as a gift, but honestly some of you have gotten into the wedding planning for all the wrong reasons. The gift of showing up and supporting you truly is the greatest gift someone can give.

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I agree completely. To refer to it as 'making back' a certain amount of money makes it sound like a fundraiser. We might as well sell tickets to our weddings to guarantee a certain amount of money.
Believe me, I need money. FH and I just bought our first home, and we are paying for most of our wedding. And I know people will give me money as a gift, but I'm not going to expect or count on getting a certain amount of money. If I get money, that's great. But I won't be mad if I spent more than I got. My wedding will be about me and my FH. Money will be the last thing I think of that day!

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Posted by billandme

I guess I just look at it different................

It doesn't matter to me in the least how many gifts we get or even how much was spent on them.

I'm just honored that people are taking time out of their hectic life and will be spending money to travel to watch my FH and I get married. That to me is seriously a gift enough........

But I am well aware that people look at this differently too

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I am partial to this. I agree with you that it would be a great honor just to have people there simply because they took the time and actually WANTED to be at my wedding HOWEVER...10k in gifts really does suck when the couple spent about 45k..

I'm shocked, I guess I live in a bubble I thought you recieved about what you spent, FBIL just got married and was only short by $3,000. Were paying for enitre thing as well

But I do have to say this, most of our guest have spent $$ on us prior to the wedding- my bridal shower, and our e-party.. so combine all the $$/gifts thats a lot they've spent.

I can say this FH lives in the same bubble as me, and if he knows about this.. well he's gonna cross half my extended-traveling-in-for the wedding family off the list

Yes, money is a major factor in planning a wedding, but you should not have to rely on the generosity of your friends and family to pay for your wedding. If you are hoping to 'make' money, I think you will be disappointed.

I told a friend how much I was paying for the dinner reception and he said 'wow! That's the way to make money!' and I was a little grossed out. I saw him in a different light. I hadn't thought about it like that at all. We chose my reception venue because it is down the street from our apartment and our 'place.' We thought it was really romantic and special. My family is not wealthy by any means and neither is FH's. We decided to have an intimate wedding to avoid all of the added stress of money and debt and gifts etc.

Besides, mathematically speaking, a person would have to give WAY over the cost of their dinner to make up for the entire cost of the wedding...flowers, cake, DJ/Band, dress, veil, shoes, etc...should we start expecting our guests to pay for their invitation too? I saw a thread the other day with someone kind of complaining about putting a stamp on the RSVP cards! It makes me think that the meaning is fading into the background.

All this talk of 'making' upsets me. FH and I have been through so much together and we just want to be surrounded by our friends and family. We invited them, not the other way around. If they want to celebrate our marriage by giving us a gift, we will happily receive their beautiful gesture, but by no means are we expecting those beautiful gestures to pay for our wedding. The money we spent on our day, like the other poster said, is gone. Anything we do receive will go to starting our beautiful new life together...

I believe it!!!!! There are a lot of 'cheap' ....OOPS...I'm sorry, did I say that..? I mean, ppl give what they can....