Are you what you thought you were going to be?

the conversation goes where it goes though...

I honestly re-read the whole thing and I didn't get the impression that it became personal...

I am legitimately curious about other people's views (Matilde and I talked about it once - about how it's fascinating to learn about other people's perspectives).

In any case, I'm sorry (?) if I offended anyone. To each their own.

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Posted by SeaMaiden

dont get me wrong, i definitely think mothers who dont work can be excellent role models as well. my grandmother didnt work when her children lived at home, but she was ALWAYS busy with being involved with girl scouts, boy scouts, baseball games, sewing, cleaning, fixing the house, mowing the lawn ect....she was not the type to sit around wasting time, even now she is very active.

she always emphasized how important it was for a women nowadays to be able to support themselves because the world today isnt what she experienced. i always admired that.

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Yes so very true...like i said before i know SAHM, who work hard do alot and take great care of their families. Volunteer, spend quality time and all that.

BUT i do know situations where the mother should've gone to work, was more than able to do so but didnt bc they didnt want to...I know a single mother who instead of working to support ALL her kids decides to send her kids to work to support the other kids and to support her. Then that is wrong...its hard to say This is how it should be, bc its a case by case basis

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Posted by beachbum05

the conversation goes where it goes though...

I honestly re-read the whole thing and I didn't get the impression that it became personal...

I am legitimately curious about other people's views (Matilde and I talked about it once - about how it's fascinating to learn about other people's perspectives).

In any case, I'm sorry (?) if I offended anyone. To each their own.

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Yeah - this is such an important topic to me. Most women face this decision at one point so I think it is so interesting to see why they make their decisions and what influences them. I think that is the best part of living in our society a this point.

In the past, women HAD to stay home. But then, as opportunities grew - many women felt pressured to have these high powered careers.

I was hoping that with our generation - the choice could actually become that of the woman and her husband and not be based on or influenced by society's expectations.

um i sound like i am running for president in this one sorry. lol

Oh Lord!!! I wish I could close my own post!

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Posted by beachbum05

the conversation goes where it goes though...

I honestly re-read the whole thing and I didn't get the impression that it became personal...

I am legitimately curious about other people's views (Matilde and I talked about it once - about how it's fascinating to learn about other people's perspectives).

In any case, I'm sorry (?) if I offended anyone. To each their own.

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I am the same way, i voice my opinions, others voice theres and to me it is just that...Even if i dont agree i respect someone for their opinions, sometimes i guess lol but no seriously its part of life...I dont expect people to feel the same way as i do.

FH and I will have debates bc when it comes to politics and things like that we disagree, ill yell, call him an idiot for thinking the way he does and then after kiss him and tell him how much i love him...But i do understand that others are less confrontational and feel uncomfortable in these situations so sorry if I made anybody feel like that. I am just a very upfront and open person, and yes a bit confrontational sometimes.

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Posted by beachbum05

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Posted by Mizzdimple

I totally understand you 100%. I question why my parents didnt do better than what they did. When I was younger and when I asked my parents for something and they couldnt afford it, I used to say ' Well you should of had more motivation in life to realize your kids needs'...you know how you think when your younger...., They kind of made me stronger than them in a way for not being all that I thought they SHOULD be.

About the work thing.. I would definaltey stay home with my children...I plan on having many....so it would be close to impossible to work.
We are very traditional.

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Not to be argumentative, but what you said about you staying at home with your kids seems kind of contradictory to what you said about your family (that they needed to be motivated to provide for their kids' needs)....?

If you're planning on having a large family and staying at home with them, aren't you concerned that your children will say the same thing about you? That you aren't motivated enough to provide for all of their needs?

I'm totally not saying that its true (that you aren't motivated)!!! I'm sure that you and your FH will plan so that your kids' needs will be met, I'm just saying that it seems like its contradictory....

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sorry didnt see this.right away..No worries..nothing taken in offense I know ur not arguing.....

But I used to think that way when I wanted to take dance lessons when I was like 10 years old and told my mom that...lol
I was a kid..I had no head....Now I am an adult and know how hard it is to work and raise kids..

I think I accomplished alot that I wanted in my 25 years...and yea you said it exactly.....when we have kids...I will not make the mistake my parents did..I will plan and have their needs met....me and Fh are well off...and if we werent i would not have kids...

I think I learned alot from my parents....

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Posted by beachbum05

the conversation goes where it goes though...

I honestly re-read the whole thing and I didn't get the impression that it became personal...

I am legitimately curious about other people's views (Matilde and I talked about it once - about how it's fascinating to learn about other people's perspectives).

In any case, I'm sorry (?) if I offended anyone. To each their own.

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NO offense really.....these boards..you can read them 10 different ways and either get offended or not...theres no way to hear how the person is wording their post..

I read it all with a smiley

I think everyone has great opinions, as different as they are and i enjoy seeing other peoples perspectives. everyone is right in their own way, because everyones life experiences are different. whooo hoooo woman power!

I'm not even close to what I really wanted to be.

Up until I got the rejection letters from Law School I was CONVINCED I was going to be a lawyer.

After I was rejected I had to make a choice, either:

1. re-apply, study like hell, hopefully get in and then be $100k in debt

or

2. Get married!

So now I'm getting married and I work for the government. Can't complain too much. I work with my FH and my best friend, make a pretty decent salary and I'm getting to marry the man of my dreams next year where if I went to law school we probably would have had to wait another 5 years.

Fate works in funny ways. Maybe I'll see law school some day, but for now I'm content

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Posted by Snowflake08

you know, last week someone asked the? about staying home and i responded with' this topic is too personal' and i think what this thread has become is exactly why i said just that

these are very personal issues and should not be discussed with 'strangers' Andrea asked the initial question in terms of life and career - not about whether or not women should stay home with their kids

someone said that they will because they are 'traditional' - in 2007, what is traditional??

to each their own, it is a personal topic and really only the couples business

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Wat i mean by traditional is both families have done it...its a tradition..in our family/ culture.