Augh...Family Vent

Original post by Dani777

Jan 29, 2009 09:06 AM

Since I started planning my wedding, my family has really just been getting under my skin. I know that sounds totally horrible...but they are just adding sooo much addational stress to wedding planning that needs be...
Lets start off with my Mom... She is telling me constantly that she thinks I am doing everything 'extravagent'. BS!!! I am cutting corners in every which way possible. So then she goes on to compare my wedding to my sisters back in the early 90s, or even HER sisters from back in the early 70s!!! So, then I explain to her that things are like they were back then...things def. have changed, but yet I am STILL cutting corners. So, then I ask her again, how am I being extravagent...? So then she goes on about the limos... 'You don't NEED 2 stretch limos AND a fancy car...' I cut her off...yes I do...I have a large BP and they won't all fit in ONE car... so I got two. So there's two cars, but no where for FH and myself, so I neeeed to get that 'special car'... Then she says that spending $1k on a DJ is crazy...but we need to have a DJ that has a million dollar insurance... cheap ones do NOT have that...AUGH! Then she starts complaining that she can't talk about it no more, and she just thinks its too much. She proceeds to continue that her sister, my aunt, thinks the same as she does. That why am I doing everything soo crazy for one day? I'm like, does ANYONE understand I'm planning my wedding.?!?! Doesn't end there, but I will add ONE more.. HA. (I can go on for HOURS LOL...) She said, 'Why are you inviting soooo many people?' I was like to !!! Seriously!!! I'm invitining family and SOME friends and SOME co-workers. Sorry that just family ALONE comes to 187!!! She just looked at me like a had a million heads!!!

Ok, moving on to the next... my oldest sister. She never had a wedding....she had 2 kids and then married their Father at Town Hall...but she is a compulsive liar! I have vented about her quite a few times on here.. LOL. But she is starting sooo much drama and LIES that it's driving me absolutly CRAZY! For some reason the RH called my Mom and left her a message. Now, she is ONLY paying a set amount, in which she already gave...which isn't that much at all. But, we are still appreciative of it. Anyways, my RH left my MOM a message to call them back... and my oldest sis heard it, so she went on and on and.... that my MOM IS paying for our ENTIRE wedding!! WHAT?!?!! I mean.... the RH never mentioned anything to FH and I...AND we are up to date already...everything is almost paid off... So I think they were trying to invite her to a showcase or something....nothing to do with money. So now my sister is saying that my Mom really IS paying for our wedding, and that my Mom should give THEM that same amount, since SHE didn't pya for THIER wedding!! Seriously...everyone in my family should JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

My other sister...my MOH...now she is awesome. She has been planning my shower, making sure I can invite everyone I wanted, and making sure that I am happy. She's great. She DOES have her mooments here and there that she compares to her wedding over 16 years ago... Like when I tired on my gown...she goes...yeah...there goes $1k! I'm like...actually..it's $800...so that's a great deal! It's a $3k dress that I was able to talk them down on the price! But, I can deal with little comments like that... just sometimes I end up snapping at her from those comments b/c I know tht she can take it...

But then, FHs side is nothing but supportive. His aunts write me emials to see what other crafts I came up with...and just in general how the wedding planning is going. It's just like two totally different worlds!

Anyways, I just needed to get that all out... t's been buildin up in me for some time now...

Does anyone really think that I am being too 'extravagent'? Am I having a bridezilla moment? I just don't know anymore. Please let me know if I'm in the wrong! Just need an outsiders view...
Thanks!

melcc83 Posted: Jan 29, 2009 10:36 AM

Re: Augh...Family Vent

Posted by Dani777

Posted by melcc83

I understand what you are saying. In the beginning my mom didnt understand why I couldnt pay for my own wedding and get a house. Im like are you kidding me? Even as I was booking stuff she couldnt believe how much things were fortunatly for me she got over it, Im sorry your going through this. Be strong and just tell your family as little as possilbe. If they ask questions tell them mininmum stuff that way you dont get your self aggrevated. IF your exctied about something and want to share , share with your friends or share with us thats what we are here for
xoxo

Awww...thanks sooo much!!

your welcome... anytime Dani!!!

flairforfashion Posted: Jan 29, 2009 10:37 AM

Re: Augh...Family Vent

Posted by Suzanner

Umm, $iK on a DJ?? $800 on a wedding dress??

They are insane, and rude.

and regarding your sister, am I remembering correctly, doesn't your mom babysit for her almost every day? Is that someone else? Why do I think it's you?

NO OFFENSE. If this WAS you, then taking these two things together, your sister sounds like an ungrateful, disgraceful, jealous piece of work. She is bitter about how her life went, and she's taking it out on you. I'm always surprised at how obvious people let themselves be.

If she IS the one who has your mom babysit all the time, then please tell her that your mother has given her MORE than she has given you in free babysitting time already, and she can just shut her a$$ up, stop being so obviously jealous, and try to reach down as far as she can into herself and try to be happy for her sister. And as far as money goes, you mom is entitled to do whatever she wants with her money. The fact that your sister says your mother OWES her the difference is so disgusting, I don't know what to say.

How about your mother raising you? How about her giving you life? She owes your sister nothing, and frankly, neither do you.

Of course, this whole post is predicated on the fact that she is the one who is having your mom babysit every day. If this isn't her, then maybe she's just being a jerk, and isn't the complete disgrace I am picturing. Because if it IS your sister, then your mom has gone ABOVE AND BEYOND WITH HER, AT THE EXPENSE OF HELPING YOU PLAN THE WEDDING AND BEING A PART OF YOUR EXPERIENCE.

I don't know why this got me so mad, but it did. I'm so so so sorry, and just feel better knowing that your mom clearly has no idea about how much modern weddings cost. Because $1000 for a DJ and $800 for a dress? The complete opposite of extravagant. To me, it sounds like you are being completely budget-responsible.

I'm so sorry, and even more sorry if I am wrong.