awkward situation.. need advice, please

if u dont want 8, then stick to ur guns and dont add anyone else. u dont have to add people to ur bp to make them happy. if that was the case, we would have about 12 people on each side! nooo thanks!!!

I must be bad cause My MOH (sister) new hubby isnt in the BP, either is My twin brother Nor is FH sister or brother's (BM) new finace.
Of course it would be 'fun' if everyone was in the bridal party but it will be fun no matter what because they will be there for pictures and the ceremony and reception to party.
If your set on your BP dont add but if you dont care either way add her let his brother pay for all the added expenses he signed her up for.

we didn's ask my sisters husband.... my sis is MOH, and all 3 of their kids are in the wedding, but FH has so many close friends and 2 brothers that it was just too much, so we asked him to do a reading.
kinda feel bad tho, cause FH's bro is no longer invited so we are down an GM, but i think it would be insulting to ask him now

Soo akward that he asked that!!!!!!!

I know plenty of people whose fiancee or even husband or wife or who ever is in the wedding party and they are not. Maybe she is just worried about who she will have to sit with or something rid like that?

I guess I would just explain that you have already capped everything and ask her to do a reading.

okay i think that's bull. your BMs are supposed to be the CLOSEST women to you. not people to just add in by association. it is completely unfair of them to pressure you into including her in your BP. why would she even want to be in it as a sloppy second? FH's sisters aren't even in mine bc we aren't close enough. they both lived in different states throughout my relationship with FH so we never really got the chance to be close. i just got closer with his older sister this past yr bc i moved to south fl for med school and she lives in palm beach but i didn't add her into the BP. we did, however, ask his two sisters to do our two readings at the ceremony. we wanted them included in some way but we aren't close enough yet for them to be my BMs. maybe you could do something like that?? so sorry you're in this ridiculous predicament.

Yes, its rude he asked, but if you are close and will see yourself getting even closer over the years then I would ask her.

Did she ask you to be a BM?

I am also coming from a strange POV b/c my MOH is FBIL's wife. We are really close, and FBIL is the best man and it just felt right.

Thank you so much everyone. Unfortunately I was subbing and couldn't check this to respond (and was DYING to see what you all had to say!!!)

First, there is no readings at my church, which is just as well bc she is the shyest person I know... We get along, but nothing like my friends!!!!

Second, they have been engaged for a year now and NO PLANS to do anything... Last I heard from her (my getting engaged gave me a reason to ask her about her plans and make sure we weren't stepping on any toes at all by getting married. We'd been together 5 1/2 years to their 1, so...) anyway, last I heard from her, there are NO PLANS and they fight all the time and she seems unsure as it is....

FH did talk to his mom (the armos are way serious about that mommy stuff) and his mom wants me to BUMP one of my BMS (who have all already been asked) bc they're married and have kids... Excuse me??? Is it MY fault that YOUR SON waited SO LONG to propose??? He was with me at all of their weddings, so whatever...............

Im' so frustrated, I just feel like I want to talk to FH about this (but we've both been working all day -- which is not normal for us unemployed entrepreneurs) and haven't had the chance to talk about it. In his message, he said he agreed with his mom and that maybe 'oh I can't think of her name, Lori, if she's even in there doesn't need to be'... Uhh??? LORI? I don't even think I KNOW a lori!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am very worried about the numbers. I do think 8 is a lot. My side of the BP knows that I was doing 7, and now all of a sudden there's 8??? So my reason would have to be 'family', so then I HAVE to have my BIL...... which is more FH's call adn I would feel like I'm being spiteful.....

I HATE THIS and I really even wish that this particular brother (FH has 3) wasn't even the Best Man bc it's always one thing or another with him...............

I'm sorry, I know this is already so long, but yes, he is probably most worried about her being left alone.... He is always making sure that somebody is there to 'talk to her' whenever he has to go to the bathroom or something... it's HIM not HER..................... I CAN'T DEAL... I'm so worried about something stupid on my wedding day that is going to piss me off like this...



Thanks for letting me VENTTTTTTTTT... As you can tell it's been building alllllll dayyyyyyy longgggggggggggggg

If you're not close to your FSIL, then I would say no, don't put her in. I myself was asked this question by my fmil about FH's SIL, and I told her that no I would not be adding her, nor my brother's wife. I'm not even remotely close to his SIL, she doesn't come to any of the family functions and I can't even rely that she'll show up to our wedding just because her husband is in it. I can't even gaurantee that she will be with FH's brother in the future because she's super negative about marriage in genera.l don't want someone who might not be around in the long run to be in my wedding pictures.

Unfortunately, since I already decided on that, I left my brother's wife out because it wouldn't seem fair if I had one SIL in the wedding party, and not the other. So you should definitely mention how it would be wrong for you to include his fiance, and not include your own sister's husband.