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Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

Original post by HSsweethearts

Soo..this might make no sense since I am really sick and on cold medicine. but the guy from the phone company is here so I might as well post...

On Sunday at my shower (yay...will post more later when I am coherent and finally hopefully get some pics), my MIL cornered me in front of people.

She thanked me for inviting my FSIL. FSIL and I don't get along. I actually did nothing to her. I was totally there for the family last year when FFIL passed away, but after the shiva she decided she hated me and then actually made her husband and her friends de-friend me (but not FH) on facebook. This was after a whole thing where she totally unprompted pulled my mom aside during shiva and told my mom she has no problem with me, the also introduced herself to my frineds and family as 'the bi+ch sister', and she goaded some rabbi who was saying that FH marrying me was 'a travesty'. I didn't say **** it oer about any of it, but she decided to pick a fight with FH about it after I went back to work on the last day of shiva.

She also as much as said she'd make a scene at our wedding since it's Father's Day and she disaaproves of the date and she'll be on a lot of drugs.

But anyway I decided to invite her to be the bigger person and whatever..

So now at the shower she thanks me for inviting FSIL but informs me that I have to invite FSILs in laws because 'it's the right thing to do'. FSIL is 8 mos prego. She has 2 other kids, but this is the first one with her current husband. So they're saying I'm taking their grandchild away from them on their first Father's Day or something.

I'm like I was barely inviting FSIL and now you want me invite her in-laws? I'm now not sure if that means I have to invite her mother in law and father in law, but she also mentioned something out her niece watching the baby, so now she wants me to also invite her SIL and BIL and their kid? Ummm... I'm not even inviting my own family's kids. I'm not even inviting my sister's in-laws. ..

And it's like, umm..to invite them, it's $170pp, plus extra maitre'd tip, plus they're basically their own table, so that;'s another centerpiece, favors, etc. She has no idea the expense. I mean they're nice enough people...but really.

When my FSIL got married I was the photographer. I did photo, and I made albums for her and my in laws and her in laws and we bought her a lenox frame. I didn't get a thank you card, and her husband never thanked us at all.


Like, really?
ETA: I should add that my invitations have already gone out... and that FMIL is giving us money for the wedidng and lending us money on top of that

Danielle41209 Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

I wouldn't invite them...why invite people that have no relation to you except that for FSIL married into that family. No way!

chreesta Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

Posted by leesah85

absolutely not.

not unless FMIL wants to pay for them all.

just tell her that it's basically another $1000 that you don't have right now. if FMIL really wants them there, she'll have to foot the bill.


this exactly.
ColliMac23 Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

OH NO YOU DON'T YOU CAN TELL HER TO EF OFF SERIOUSLY!

DMLHeartsCRM Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

My honest opinion is no you dont have to invite them. They have no relation to you and you're only inviting FSIL as a courtesy and being the better person. (which i give you tons of credit for, i wont even send the invites to my FBIL anymore after the stunt he and he his wife pulled on FH and I.) Explain this to FMIL and say it was only right that you invited fsil, not her entire brood. And although she is giving money towards the wedding it's not enough for you to have someone not involved with your life invited to the biggest day of it.


If all else fails ooops the catering hall only has a set number of people for that room, and you've reached the max capacity.
MNM0805 Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

Posted by leesah85

absolutely not.

not unless FMIL wants to pay for them all.

just tell her that it's basically another $1000 that you don't have right now. if FMIL really wants them there, she'll have to foot the bill.


This!
JTG4EVER Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

Ok i am torn. I voted to 'invite them but make MIL pay.' The reason I voted for that is because you did say she was contributing...and thats like 'her people' so its hard to say no when she is paying. If she wasnt paying then this would be a no-brainer. However, I am on the fence in saying 'dont invite them' because F*** that! It's your wedding! Plus you dont even know these people LOL.

jgold910 Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

Although not the same situation - I was asked to invite my sister's in-law's knowing that they wouldn't approve of my marriage - not only his parents - but all 3 sibs and their significant others...His father is a Rabbi and would never attend - so it's out of courtesy that my mother invited them....my sister even yelled at my mom b/c she knew that this would be the case....I guess they are really your FMIL's family....sorry I would invite to be the better person in hopes that they won't come!

HSsweethearts Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

Thanks!

SO the plot thickens


Apparently FMIL asked FH about it before the shower and he told her he would speak with me about it after the shower and please don't bring it up at the shower because it's not the time nor the place. Well. as you know she did anyway, so he is pizzed at her. I think in general he's like 'whatever...I don't care if we invite them' but then when she pulled that he said just for that he wants to say know.

I think it's ridiculous. My FSIL won't talk to me. I always got along with her husband, but she told him he;s not allowed to talk to me, and he listened, so now I'm supposed to invite his family to my wedding?

And while I'm bring a bish..they are straight up hillbillies. I don't even think they would know how to dress for my wedding!
futuremrso Posted:

Re: Awkward Situation ; WWYD?

Posted by HSsweethearts

Thanks!

SO the plot thickens


Apparently FMIL asked FH about it before the shower and he told her he would speak with me about it after the shower and please don't bring it up at the shower because it's not the time nor the place. Well. as you know she did anyway, so he is pizzed at her. I think in general he's like 'whatever...I don't care if we invite them' but then when she pulled that he said just for that he wants to say know.

I think it's ridiculous. My FSIL won't talk to me. I always got along with her husband, but she told him he;s not allowed to talk to me, and he listened, so now I'm supposed to invite his family to my wedding?

And while I'm bring a bish..they are straight up hillbillies. I don't even think they would know how to dress for my wedding!


haha, the plot thickens. I'm still sticking with the not inviting them. and even more so now. why is FMIL obsessing over this so much?? Its ridiculous. No hillbillies allowed.

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