Babies at reception

AWFUL idea on their part.,. The kid is too young to be at a place like that with so many people.

However if they do come have the bouncer kick them out. KIDDING.

You will never know they are there.. and hopefully they will know better to hush the baby or take it outside of the room if it cries...etc.

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling
1. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
2. I understand my dad has a say, but he uses that line when it suits him
3. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
4. I know my cousin wants to be there and I would love for nothing more than to share my day with all of my family, but I just do not see the logic in bringing such a young baby to a wedding and around all those people.

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The baby is NOT going to steal your spotlight. I didn't want kids at my wedding also.. but give people some credit. They will take care of the baby so that you aren't dealing with a screaming infant. And if it does cry,,. I am sure someone will make them go some where else with it.

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Posted by Kimbalina

AWFUL idea on their part.,. The kid is too young to be at a place like that with so many people.

However if they do come have the bouncer kick them out. KIDDING.

You will never know they are there.. and hopefully they will know better to hush the baby or take it outside of the room if it cries...etc.

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Funny you should say that, I just ordered a big bouncer! I am putting it right next to the bar so the parents can booze up while watching their children. I always think of everything! LOL

I am just hoping that they will use their head and walk out of the church/RH if the kid starts crying. They are first time parents so I dunno how they are. Some people just do not care. Ive seen it so many times a church.

I would be scared to bring a newborn around so many people (germs!). And maybe after the baby is born, the parents might change their minds...or their dr might warn them about bringing a newborn into such a public place. Plus, a baby might be really uncomfortable/upset being around so many people and such loud music.

However, if it turns out they still want to bring the baby, I'd let them do it. I don't think it will interfere with your experience whatsoever. The only caveat I'd make is that I wouldn't want the baby in the ceremony in case he/she cries. The CH and reception is loud anyway.

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by MrsCastanedain09

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by nraboni

Honestly I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I am not having/allowing any kids at my wedding. IMO, I think that 3-4 weeks is too young to have the baby at a function with so many people. Especially if there will be other kids there...kids transfer germs so easily not to mention all of the adults that will want to hold the baby. I just don't think it is a sanitary environment for the baby.

I also don't think that the doctor would think it is a good idea to have the baby at the wedding. If I were you I would just call my cousin and express your thoughts and feelings and try to find someone to watch the baby. What about the parents of the wife? Are they invited to your wedding too?

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Thanks for the suggestion, but the wife's whole family lives in Peru.

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1) You're not going to notice the baby.
2) If your Dad is in fact paying for the reception then you really don't have much leverage.
3) You're not going to notice the baby.
4) Your cousins probably want to share your day because they really love you- don't lose sight of that.

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1. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
2. I understand my dad has a say, but he uses that line when it suits him
3. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
4. I know my cousin wants to be there and I would love for nothing more than to share my day with all of my family, but I just do not see the logic in bringing such a young baby to a wedding and around all those people.

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Peru? Kinda far..lol

But really...what we are all loosing sight of is the fact that the baby will be 3-4 WEEKS OLD! I know for a fact that doctors do not want babies that young to be around a lot of people...especially kids AND the music level will be too high for that babies sensitive ears.

No doubt about it that the baby will cry...it will be 3-4 WEEKS old. Sorry if it seems like I am shouting but I just don't understand anyone that would be ok with bringing that young of a baby to a gathering with soo many people.

Aside from all of that....it's your wedding and you should put your foot down! I understand your dad is paying for the wedding but there has to be a point where logic comes into play.

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by MrsCastanedain09

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by nraboni

Honestly I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I am not having/allowing any kids at my wedding. IMO, I think that 3-4 weeks is too young to have the baby at a function with so many people. Especially if there will be other kids there...kids transfer germs so easily not to mention all of the adults that will want to hold the baby. I just don't think it is a sanitary environment for the baby.

I also don't think that the doctor would think it is a good idea to have the baby at the wedding. If I were you I would just call my cousin and express your thoughts and feelings and try to find someone to watch the baby. What about the parents of the wife? Are they invited to your wedding too?

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Thanks for the suggestion, but the wife's whole family lives in Peru.

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1) You're not going to notice the baby.
2) If your Dad is in fact paying for the reception then you really don't have much leverage.
3) You're not going to notice the baby.
4) Your cousins probably want to share your day because they really love you- don't lose sight of that.

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1. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
2. I understand my dad has a say, but he uses that line when it suits him
3. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
4. I know my cousin wants to be there and I would love for nothing more than to share my day with all of my family, but I just do not see the logic in bringing such a young baby to a wedding and around all those people.

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To be clear, I wasn't being nasty....I wouldn't bring my weeks old infant anywhere much less to a wedding. That's me. I think lots of us are trying to point out that you will be so focused on the euphoria of the moment and lights will be on you and DH so you wont really see anything but each other.

First time parents are crazy about their babies. Either they are really overprotective and keep them inside (like they SHOULD at so young an age) or they bring them out EVERYWHERE. I used to work at a children's photo studio and more than once I had mothers coming in with their newborn babies wanting pictures. Are you kidding???

I'd say something to them along the lines of 'Have you really thought this through? I want you guys to be there, but its going to be very loud, there's going to be a lot of strange people there who will bring strange germs with them...' I don't think they really thought about this too much.

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Posted by nraboni

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by MrsCastanedain09

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by nraboni

Honestly I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I am not having/allowing any kids at my wedding. IMO, I think that 3-4 weeks is too young to have the baby at a function with so many people. Especially if there will be other kids there...kids transfer germs so easily not to mention all of the adults that will want to hold the baby. I just don't think it is a sanitary environment for the baby.

I also don't think that the doctor would think it is a good idea to have the baby at the wedding. If I were you I would just call my cousin and express your thoughts and feelings and try to find someone to watch the baby. What about the parents of the wife? Are they invited to your wedding too?

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Thanks for the suggestion, but the wife's whole family lives in Peru.

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1) You're not going to notice the baby.
2) If your Dad is in fact paying for the reception then you really don't have much leverage.
3) You're not going to notice the baby.
4) Your cousins probably want to share your day because they really love you- don't lose sight of that.

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1. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
2. I understand my dad has a say, but he uses that line when it suits him
3. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
4. I know my cousin wants to be there and I would love for nothing more than to share my day with all of my family, but I just do not see the logic in bringing such a young baby to a wedding and around all those people.

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Peru? Kinda far..lol

But really...what we are all loosing sight of is the fact that the baby will be 3-4 WEEKS OLD! I know for a fact that doctors do not want babies that young to be around a lot of people...especially kids AND the music level will be too high for that babies sensitive ears.

No doubt about it that the baby will cry...it will be 3-4 WEEKS old. Sorry if it seems like I am shouting but I just don't understand anyone that would be ok with bringing that young of a baby to a gathering with soo many people.

Aside from all of that....it's your wedding and you should put your foot down! I understand your dad is paying for the wedding but there has to be a point where logic comes into play.

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Yea they are in Peru. I tried to convince my cousin to drop the baby off with her grandparents in Peru for the night and just pick her up in the morning, but he said that he couldnt get a flight (I am being totally sarcastic if you didnt pick up on that)

OH thank you for understanding!! You are saying everything I am feeling! I guess I am just old school.

At the baby shower, someone brought their 9 DAY OLD BABY to the shower!! The shower was outside on a deck and there were three dogs running around! One dog kept on licking the baby's feet and the parents werent shooing it away!! (BTW the dog wasn't theirs)

I have the same problem but came up with a solution.

My2 girlfriends will have a 4 week old and 4 month old. My cousin Rachel who is 14 is NOT invited to the wedding but her parents are.

She and her best friend will be set up in the catering office. Its a nice room with a TV. Both moms will be able to drop the kids off and enjoy the wedding. If there is any problme, or mom needs to brest feed the babies will be on site so moms wont have to go back to the hotel. Also if my cousin has a problem, both moms are right there.

But the babies wont be at the wedding crying!

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Posted by MikesBride2B

First time parents are crazy about their babies. Either they are really overprotective and keep them inside (like they SHOULD at so young an age) or they bring them out EVERYWHERE. I used to work at a children's photo studio and more than once I had mothers coming in with their newborn babies wanting pictures. Are you kidding???

I'd say something to them along the lines of 'Have you really thought this through? I want you guys to be there, but its going to be very loud, there's going to be a lot of strange people there who will bring strange germs with them...' I don't think they really thought about this too much.

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I am thinking the same thing. I am hoping that after the baby is born they will rethink their decision.

Thanks girls for all the advice, it has definitely calmed my anxiety about the situation. Like most of you said, I am sure I will not notice the baby, I think I am more appalled by the idea of even bringing the baby at such a young age. Guess I will just let this one slide now that I have calmed down!

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Posted by Juhgail

I have the same problem but came up with a solution.

My2 girlfriends will have a 4 week old and 4 month old. My cousin Rachel who is 14 is NOT invited to the wedding but her parents are.

She and her best friend will be set up in the catering office. Its a nice room with a TV. Both moms will be able to drop the kids off and enjoy the wedding. If there is any problme, or mom needs to brest feed the babies will be on site so moms wont have to go back to the hotel. Also if my cousin has a problem, both moms are right there.

But the babies wont be at the wedding crying!

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That'sa good idea!

Thats a toughie

Maybe look at it from a different angle...

Do you want to turn away someone who wants to share in your special day because of a baby? In the grand scheme of things it may not even be an issue. But it could definitely cause issues after the wedding...they might resent you for denying their family the opportunity to attend because they have a child, KWIM?

Either way, its tough.

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by MikesBride2B

First time parents are crazy about their babies. Either they are really overprotective and keep them inside (like they SHOULD at so young an age) or they bring them out EVERYWHERE. I used to work at a children's photo studio and more than once I had mothers coming in with their newborn babies wanting pictures. Are you kidding???

I'd say something to them along the lines of 'Have you really thought this through? I want you guys to be there, but its going to be very loud, there's going to be a lot of strange people there who will bring strange germs with them...' I don't think they really thought about this too much.

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I am thinking the same thing. I am hoping that after the baby is born they will rethink their decision.

Thanks girls for all the advice, it has definitely calmed my anxiety about the situation. Like most of you said, I am sure I will not notice the baby, I think I am more appalled by the idea of even bringing the baby at such a young age. Guess I will just let this one slide now that I have calmed down!

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I would still mention to your cousin about having the baby around so many people and asking what the doctor suggests. Just for sanitary reasons.

Once the parents realize everything a baby entails they will think twice about coming to the wedding. I think right now they are being hopeful that they can come..but they still haven't had a taste of what it's like to have the baby.

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Posted by Juhgail

I have the same problem but came up with a solution.

My2 girlfriends will have a 4 week old and 4 month old. My cousin Rachel who is 14 is NOT invited to the wedding but her parents are.

She and her best friend will be set up in the catering office. Its a nice room with a TV. Both moms will be able to drop the kids off and enjoy the wedding. If there is any problme, or mom needs to brest feed the babies will be on site so moms wont have to go back to the hotel. Also if my cousin has a problem, both moms are right there.

But the babies wont be at the wedding crying!

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That is a good idea, however I do not have anyone that could do that! I need a 14 yr old cousin!!!! ha ha anyone wanna donate their 14 yr old cousin to me???

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling
1. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
2. I understand my dad has a say, but he uses that line when it suits him
3. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
4. I know my cousin wants to be there and I would love for nothing more than to share my day with all of my family, but I just do not see the logic in bringing such a young baby to a wedding and around all those people.

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The baby is NOT going to steal your spotlight. I didn't want kids at my wedding also.. but give people some credit. They will take care of the baby so that you aren't dealing with a screaming infant. And if it does cry,,. I am sure someone will make them go some where else with it.

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The baby wont steal your thunder at all but lets be honest we are assuming that poeple have common sense.. i went to a few weddings where during the ceremony a baby started crying and the mother just sat there everyone turned around to look at them but she didnt take her baby and leave.. seriously, that would upset me too esp since my ceremony is only 30 mins long!

To give a mother's point of view:

I understand your cousins predicament. There were plenty of things I wanted to go to, but couldn't, because I had no one to watch my son. It ***** missing out on things, so I can relate to how the parents feel.

However, I don't feel a wedding is a good place for a baby that young. Babies shouldn't be in public for the first 2 months, and with things like swine flu going around, it's not safe. (I'm not saying a guest will have swine flu, it's just an example).

My son slept thru his entire christening party...music and all. At that age, babies sleep like 18 hours a day. So if they do bring the baby, he/she will probably sleep thru most of it. That was at 2 months old. But now at 4 months, he gets startled easily and cries when he hears loud music, voices, etc. He will be 6 months by the time our wedding rolls around, and I am scared he will flip out with the music :/

Don't let this ruin your day. If it bothers you that much, say something. Tell them you are concerned about the baby with germs and such, and that while you would love for them to attend, you don't think it's a good idea to bring the baby.

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by Juhgail

I have the same problem but came up with a solution.

My2 girlfriends will have a 4 week old and 4 month old. My cousin Rachel who is 14 is NOT invited to the wedding but her parents are.

She and her best friend will be set up in the catering office. Its a nice room with a TV. Both moms will be able to drop the kids off and enjoy the wedding. If there is any problme, or mom needs to brest feed the babies will be on site so moms wont have to go back to the hotel. Also if my cousin has a problem, both moms are right there.

But the babies wont be at the wedding crying!

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That is a good idea, however I do not have anyone that could do that! I need a 14 yr old cousin!!!! ha ha anyone wanna donate their 14 yr old cousin to me???

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Irish--Find out if friends of yor have a trusted babysitter. As neighbors. Ask family members. Tell them that THEY can bring their own trusted babysitter.

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Posted by MikesBride2B



I'd say something to them along the lines of 'Have you really thought this through? I want you guys to be there, but its going to be very loud, there's going to be a lot of strange people there who will bring strange germs with them...' I don't think they really thought about this too much.

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ITA, I think this is the best approach. I understand where you are coming from, but think that your cousin and his wife would likely be hurt if you just told them 'NO BABIES!!!!!!!' I am sure you are also concerned for the welfare of the baby so I would play that angle up instead.

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Posted by littlepixie12

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling
1. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
2. I understand my dad has a say, but he uses that line when it suits him
3. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
4. I know my cousin wants to be there and I would love for nothing more than to share my day with all of my family, but I just do not see the logic in bringing such a young baby to a wedding and around all those people.

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The baby is NOT going to steal your spotlight. I didn't want kids at my wedding also.. but give people some credit. They will take care of the baby so that you aren't dealing with a screaming infant. And if it does cry,,. I am sure someone will make them go some where else with it.

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The baby wont steal your thunder at all but lets be honest we are assuming that poeple have common sense.. i went to a few weddings where during the ceremony a baby started crying and the mother just sat there everyone turned around to look at them but she didnt take her baby and leave.. seriously, that would upset me too esp since my ceremony is only 30 mins long!

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Why wouldn't you get up and go somewhere??? That's rude, no? I get that you are a parent and have a baby and blah blah blah... but if your baby is disrupting something like that then common sense should tell you to get up and take a hike for a little while so you aren't ruining someone's wedding ceremony.. that audacity!!! I'm sorry to all the mom's out there.. please don't be offended by that... but it's really selfish and ridiculous that that woman just sat there and let the baby cry like that during the ceremony... even after people started looking at her. At what point does the light bulb go on in her head????? JERK!!!

My church actually has a kids room.... it's a sound proof room in the back with glass, TV's and speakers... so they can actually see and hear everything but you can't hear the kids going nuts in there.

Luckily we don't have many kids coming to the wedding... just because they don't exist yet. FH family has 4 little ones... but 3 are in the wedding party and the other one is like 8 years old... so they will all be there. Plus I kinda feel like it's different for kids to be there when they are family rather than just friends's kids or kids that you hardly see. It will be nice to have them in the pictures and all, because they are family and it's a nice memory for a kid to have. I'll never forget the first wedding I attended... and the absolute AWE I was in... I couldn't even speak!!! And they might even have a good time... plus the pics and the video of them dancing all dressed up will be soo cute! I can't wait to see the 3 of them walking down the aisle... well on video walking down the aisle... becuase I will miss that part. :(

With that being said... I personally wouldn't want there to be like 20 kids there. Just a few is ok. And definately not kids that I really don't know or kids of extended family friends etc.

As far as bringing an infant of that age.......
I sooo wouldn't bring my baby anywhere like that at that age. I think it's just too risky for far too many reasons to even begin listing. Hopefully they will figure this out once they have the baby and speak to the dr. Like you said, they are new parents and so it's possible they just don't know the risks. And especially the loud music.... it HAS to be that they didn't give it enough thought! However, it's sweet they want to come to the wedding anyway.

FBIL, AKA BM is having a baby and they are due November 8th, our wedding is November 6th. I have NO IDEA how that is going to play out. To be honest... I just don't even bother thinking about it. It's beyond my control. I just hope he has a healthy baby and that FH still has a best man! I think it will be a C section... so they might even just plan the date around our wedding... as insane as that sounds - it's their choice not ours. And I should hope that if they have the baby before the wedding they don't bring him/her to the wedding. Not for my own selfish purposes (because like I said my church has a kids room) but for the health of the baby.

I know how if feels when you feel as though you have valid points, yet still no one sees your side of things. Is there ANYONE in your family who sees your side? Perhaps they can politly mention some things to them? Like about the noise level and the germ factor, etc? Or you could do that... I think it would be harder for you though because your father 'forbid' you to make those decisions.

I have a somewhat similiar situation with your father and the I'm paying so I say who comes deal. My grandmother is paying for JUST the reception (not that it's not A LOT.... because it is... but we are paying for EVERYTHING else... which in total is slightly more than the reception part of it)... so because she's paying for that part she said my mother can invite whomever she wants. Well my mother has 50+ people on her list!! Yes... MORE THAN 50 people, probably even over 60!!! And I don't know them all very well either. To me, that's a lot. Especially when my mother and grandmother BOTH question why my list is so high! But since my grandmother is paying for that part, I have no say in that factor. ONLY... I am paying for the CP's (that will be multiple extra tableS so more CP's needed), the favors, the plate chargers, etc. So, really I am paying for her friends as well in other ways. It can be frusterating. But all in all... it will work itself out in the end. And no use stressing over it... especially if there isn't much you can do about it.

One suggestion though - have someone who is close to the parents be prepared to politely ask them to please take a walk to go somewhere more comfortable should the baby start crying and the parents just sit there like what happened with little pixie! This way you have a game plan in place just incase!

Good Luck!