Babies at reception

This is a mini vent/advice needed post...

My cousin's wife is due any day now and yesterday they asked if they could bring the baby to the reception, and my father tells them, 'sure why not?' So my father tells me about this and I thought he was kidding so I laughed. My dad was like no, they are bringing the baby. So I was like why?? and he said bc they do not have anyone else to watch the baby since everyone they know will be at the reception.

Now maybe I am thinking a little old school, but honestly why would you bring a 3-4 week old baby ANYWHERE other than a dr appt?? I mean there are going to be about 200 guests at the wedding and in my opinion that is too young. Irregardless, they are the parents and they will do what they feel is best, fine but this is not really my issue.

My issue is that this baby is going to be at my wedding!!! I can just see them now, since they are first time parents, bringing in a stroller through my CH and reception room with bags of stuff. And what if she needs to feed the baby? Where is she gonna do that? Now I know people are going to be oohhing and ahhhing over the baby and then what if the baby cries during a speech or something? I mean i have a videographer so that will definitely be picked up on!

I feel like I have been sacrificing what FH and I want this whole time to accommodate others for OUR wedding, and I am just sick of it. I let my out of towners with kids bring them, but they are all over the age of 5 (I honestly did not want any kids at the wedding, but again, to accommodate others...) I have to sit people far away from others because they do not get along, and the list goes on and on...

Honestly, am I being ridiculous? My dad screamed at me when I told him I do not want the baby there, and my sister says I am being ridiculous and worrying about things I do not need to worry about. I need advice from fellow brides because I feel like if you are not a bride, you would not understand..

Thanks for reading and I am sorry its so long..

I did NOT allow ANY kids @ my reception. DH and I went back and forth on it & it ended up not being an issue. Whoever couldn't find sitter's for the kids, simply didn't attend. fine with me.

Since you already allowed others to bring their kids, then you really can't say anything to the new mom about her infant.

To be quite honest, you're going to be so busy with pictures, talking to people, looking adoringly into your new husbands eyes, that you'll not even notice this.

A lot of stuff happened at my wedding that I didn't find out until after the fact b/c I was simply preoccupied.

And you don't want to exclude first time parents from a wedding, they probably still want to attend an adult gathering

ETA: I don't think a wedding reception for a 3 week old baby is a safe place for him/her to be. Especially if the baby hasn't had all of their vaccinations. But like you said it's not your child so what can you do.

The only baby baby that will be at my wedding is my little nephew..but he will be 3 months old and im just having my sister-in-law and my brother walk with him down the aisle as a little groomsmen! he if starts crying someone will walk him out! and they are not bringing him to the reception!
a 3-4 week old baby should not be in a public place! they gave my nephew 8 weeks before he is allowed in public places!

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Posted by Ayne11

To be quite honest, you're going to be so busy with pictures, talking to people, looking adoringly into your new husbands eyes, that you'll not even notice this.

A lot of stuff happened at my wedding that I didn't find out until after the fact b/c I was simply preoccupied.

And you don't want to exclude first time parents from a wedding, they probably still want to attend an adult gathering

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I agree. The baby will probably sleep for the majority of the time anyway.

I also agree that babies that small shouldn't be out in large public gatherings - but maybe they would feel bad if they couldn't share your special day with you.

I wouldn't let it stress you - your day will be wonderful! At the end of it all you will be married to the man of your dreams!

I didnt have any kids/babies at my wedding except for the FG. That being said you have to think if you want these people to be at your wedding. If you do not allow the baby they will most likely not come because I dont know very many people who would leave a 1 month old with a sitter.

I agree that you will not notice many of the things that will go on at your wedding because you will be to busy and to focused on yourselves to notice.

I was told that my DH 92 year old grandmother was yelling out during our church ceremony.....I didnt hear a bit of it and she was in the front row.

you can maybe seat them near the door so if the baby does cry she can quickly get up and out...maybe have someone talk to them and ask them to make sure they quickly step out if this happens

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Posted by Ayne11

To be quite honest, you're going to be so busy with pictures, talking to people, looking adoringly into your new husbands eyes, that you'll not even notice this.

A lot of stuff happened at my wedding that I didn't find out until after the fact b/c I was simply preoccupied.

And you don't want to exclude first time parents from a wedding, they probably still want to attend an adult gathering

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This is what I was thinking too, but now that I keep on thinking about it I think its the fact that
A. my cousin would even ask to bring their kid and
B. that everyone is yelling at me and telling me I am ridiculous.
I think its the way the family is reacting to my reaction that is really bothering me.

I havent made ANY demands for this wedding. My only rule was any OOT guest with kids (who are all in the wedding party) could bring their kids bc where are they gonna find sitters?

Whenever I say something, my dad always pulls out the line '...well I am paying for this reception so I say who comes and who doesnt come.'

you should just get cages for all the children for the reception... one of my fellow NW's did this and it worked out GREAT!!!

the pic wont post... but trust me, its a great idea... damn kids/babies

Honestly I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I am not having/allowing any kids at my wedding. IMO, I think that 3-4 weeks is too young to have the baby at a function with so many people. Especially if there will be other kids there...kids transfer germs so easily not to mention all of the adults that will want to hold the baby. I just don't think it is a sanitary environment for the baby.

I also don't think that the doctor would think it is a good idea to have the baby at the wedding. If I were you I would just call my cousin and express your thoughts and feelings and try to find someone to watch the baby. What about the parents of the wife? Are they invited to your wedding too?

I honestly don't see the big deal. How would the baby affect you on your wedding day? I think you will be too busy to even notice.

Not sure if it's the best thing bringing a newborn where there is loud music but I don't really think that is your concerm. That is the parents concern.

WOW... hoenstly if I just had a baby and it was WEEKS old I wouldnt bring it anywhere.. the docs say you shouldnt even take him/her out of the house for like 3months only for doc appts! The music is going to damage the baby's ears

EDT to add that we are not having any kids at our reception either except the FG who is FH niece and godchild. She will be 2 yrs old by then

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Posted by nraboni

Honestly I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I am not having/allowing any kids at my wedding. IMO, I think that 3-4 weeks is too young to have the baby at a function with so many people. Especially if there will be other kids there...kids transfer germs so easily not to mention all of the adults that will want to hold the baby. I just don't think it is a sanitary environment for the baby.

I also don't think that the doctor would think it is a good idea to have the baby at the wedding. If I were you I would just call my cousin and express your thoughts and feelings and try to find someone to watch the baby. What about the parents of the wife? Are they invited to your wedding too?

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Thanks for the suggestion, but the wife's whole family lives in Peru.

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Posted by Ayne11

We're going to my cousins wedding next month and they didn't invite any children so now like 75% of my family can't come b/c it's all the way down in Long Beach Island NJ, & we all have to sleep over, so who can watch kids KWIM?? This wedding is going to suuuck now b/c we won't know anyone.

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See this is why I only said OOT kids so that people didnt have to worry about this.

I am anti kids at my wedding, but as you allowed others your kind of in a stuck situation. But seriously if I was that mother there is no way I would bring my new born infant to a wedding.

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Posted by MLAngelo

I am anti kids at my wedding, but as you allowed others your kind of in a stuck situation. But seriously if I was that mother there is no way I would bring my new born infant to a wedding.

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Yea but the rule was 'only OOT kids' and this has been the rule for all our family weddings so I do not believe a newborn who is local really applies.

I hear where you're coming from but I don't think it's a big deal. Still, you could talk to them. Ask them if they can make sure that they feed the baby in the bridal suite or the restroom. Maybe you could ask if the baby starts wailing during the ceremony if they can take her outside but honestly, I'm sure this is all common sense.

We said no kids and luckily it wasn't a huge issue because most people have grown children. My cousins are sixteen and over for the most part. Our flower girl will be sixteen months though and that's a huge concern because she's a bit temperamental and she gets flustered around a lot of people, as was displayed at her first birthday party the other day. Still, we've already discussed it. If she starts crying during the ceremony her mom will take her away from the ceremony. I don't care if she cries at any other point but she does really well when FMIL holds her so that's who is walking her down the aisle.

I think you'll feel better if you just talk to the parents.

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by nraboni

Honestly I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I am not having/allowing any kids at my wedding. IMO, I think that 3-4 weeks is too young to have the baby at a function with so many people. Especially if there will be other kids there...kids transfer germs so easily not to mention all of the adults that will want to hold the baby. I just don't think it is a sanitary environment for the baby.

I also don't think that the doctor would think it is a good idea to have the baby at the wedding. If I were you I would just call my cousin and express your thoughts and feelings and try to find someone to watch the baby. What about the parents of the wife? Are they invited to your wedding too?

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Thanks for the suggestion, but the wife's whole family lives in Peru.

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1) You're not going to notice the baby.
2) If your Dad is in fact paying for the reception then you really don't have much leverage.
3) You're not going to notice the baby.
4) Your cousins probably want to share your day because they really love you- don't lose sight of that.

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Posted by MrsCastanedain09

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

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Posted by nraboni

Honestly I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I am not having/allowing any kids at my wedding. IMO, I think that 3-4 weeks is too young to have the baby at a function with so many people. Especially if there will be other kids there...kids transfer germs so easily not to mention all of the adults that will want to hold the baby. I just don't think it is a sanitary environment for the baby.

I also don't think that the doctor would think it is a good idea to have the baby at the wedding. If I were you I would just call my cousin and express your thoughts and feelings and try to find someone to watch the baby. What about the parents of the wife? Are they invited to your wedding too?

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Thanks for the suggestion, but the wife's whole family lives in Peru.

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1) You're not going to notice the baby.
2) If your Dad is in fact paying for the reception then you really don't have much leverage.
3) You're not going to notice the baby.
4) Your cousins probably want to share your day because they really love you- don't lose sight of that.

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1. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
2. I understand my dad has a say, but he uses that line when it suits him
3. I will notice a crying baby and people passing the kid around
4. I know my cousin wants to be there and I would love for nothing more than to share my day with all of my family, but I just do not see the logic in bringing such a young baby to a wedding and around all those people.