So today i had talked to my MOH my sister and she wants to do a spa day and dinner for my bachlorette party. I don't want to do that for a couple of reasons. i dont like them, i break out from the oils they use ( 3 weeks before my wedding) and last i want something fun and memorible. When i said that to her, she then stated she wasn't going to come. My mom then called me and said i was out of line and its not my job to plan it. i said i wasnt i was trying to find out the date because a bm has other things going on and needed to know the date. I ended up in tears saying i dont want one.
bemyyoko
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
i hate being touched by strangers. if i had a spa day bachelorette party i'd spend the day in tears.
I def think you have a right to say something, the party is for YOU, you should be able to enjoy it.
Ayne11
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
uhh... I would think if you have an allergic reaction to a spa treatment you should have maybe a little say in that aspect??? No? Yes?
mnd1202
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
yeah u should definately be able to choose somewhat, my MOH keeps asking me what i would like and she plans it from there, the bahcelorette party isnt a day for ur bms to have a spa day, its a day to cater and aknowlege that their friend is going to be married soon, its a day for u not for them, and if ur sister or ur mom cant understand that, thats not fair....did u tell ur mom why u didnt want a spa day because u know u break out from the oils and its not fair to u for thme to spend all this mooney on a spa day when u wont be able tp take part in it?
FtrMrsV
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
My best firend (MOH) is planning my bachlorette party. The only say I had was that we were doing it in Vegas. She and the rest of my bridal party have taken over.
She should understand your reason for not wanting a spa. But if it means that much to her made you can do some of the things that don't involve oils so you don't have to worry about breaking out.
mariana881
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
Like a pp said, my MOH only gave me a few vague choices for the bachlorette party and the rest will be a surprise. I also know the date, I had to approve that because we have 4 other weddings right around the same time as ours and a lot of other shower and bachlorette parties.
I have told my MOH for a while a few things that I know I DONT want for my bachlorette party, and I think that is perfectly fine. I think your MOH is out of line with what she said to you.
xobellaamyxo
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
Thanx ......i appreciate the advice....
FutureMrs.T
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
I planned my Vegas bachelorette party. I have 11 girls going so I coordinated everyone. I didnt mind and they were all okay with it.
bella1028
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
i do not agree that you should have absolutely no say...why would anyone not want to do pretty much what YOU want??? It makes sense to at the very least NOT do the spa thing since you made it clear you would prefer not to...I am sorry
MAY24BRIDE
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
Posted by Mici n KC
I sent my sister (MOH) suggestions of things I'd like to do and am letting her figure it out with the other BMs. You absolutely have a say in what you want to do, especially if what they picked you don't like!
this is what i did.....i gave my moh and a bm an idea of what i'd like to do and they can coordinate with the rest of the girls on what we'll actually end up doing. i absolutely think you should be able to suggest what you would like and what you wouldn't like to do.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
WOW i cant believe she wont go unless its what she wants to do, that is crazy. First of all as your MOH she should know what you like and don't like, just my opinion but if i was planning somebodies bachelorette party and people came up with ideas that i know does not match the brides personality i would throw out the idea right away. And something like you have bad reactions to the oils should be something that is respected, you dont want to be miserable at your own bachelorette party.
You are not wrong at all, at least i dont think so and definitely not out of line. I mean a bachelorette party is for YOU, so you have to enjoy it. It is great that somebody is planning it for you and doing these things for you but once she hears its something you don't want to do then she should want to make you happy. I would not want to pick things that the bride is not excited about.
My MOH knows me and even though I brought up the fact that I do NOT want a quite relaxing bachelorette party she already knew this and was brought up bc she was talking about what we wont do. Now theres nothing wrong with that type of bachelorette party but everybody is different and wants different things. The same way i might not like some activities others do, they might not like what i am doing and that is fine, to each their own. I just worry about what i like and dont care how others view what im doing or dont understand their need to understand why
Princess Cut Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
I'm sorry but I don't like that your sister said she wasn't going to come if you don't do what SHE wants to do. It's a celebration for YOU. She should ask you what type of party you would like to have and plan it accordingly.
MeaganAndJoeC
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
being that it is YOUR wedding and YOUR bachelorette party you should be doing something that you wnat to do. Thats rediculous that you are getting crap for anything .. why should you do something you dont want to do ?
blaine08
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
i think ur opinion definitely counts. As ur MOH and sister, she should want to know if you'll ike it or not. I wanted a spa day, so my MOH and i planned it together.
Mrs. V 2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
some say..i basically told them where i didn't want to go..otherwise they won't tell me anything!
anamaree77
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
My MOH mentioned doing the Bach party but FH and I kinda had our hearts set on a huge combined bash with some adult entertainment people walking around with drinks and just a great time....Needless to say MOH didn't really like it so we may compromise. Boys going fishing in the day, girls do the spa thing........then all meet up for dinner/drinks at night..... Everyone's happy!
Don't get upset and cry....just tell them what you want and work it out. It is YOUR party!
jeanne08
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
my MOH asked me what I wanted and I let her know my thoughts. But other than giving her the list of names and addresses of people I'd like to se there I have absolutely no say in what's going on. A little scary but it should be fun bc my MOH is doing the planning
JeanetteandSteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
the bachelorette party is for YOU and it should be something that YOU would like to do! i think it's ridiculous that people are trying to make you feel bad about not wanting to do what THEY want.
that makes me mad! you should remind them of who the party is for.
DCLM726
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
Posted by Mimacat
Well you ARE the bride and although you're not 'supposed' to have a say, you should definitely be able to choose if you want a low key spa party or if you want a go out drinking party!
I agree!
del Rio
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
I totally understand where you are coming from. My MOH/younger sister has never been to a bachlorette party and it's hard for me to let her plan it without getting her feelings hurt.
I have a bridesmaid, who I secretly call my unofficial matron of honor, because she has been so HELPFUL helping me, help her, without me having to get too involved. If that makes any sense at all!
Is there another BM that can help you communicate better with her on what you want to do?
hyphenbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachlorette party
I think one of the first things I said to my BMs when I asked them to be BMs was, 'Please, no strippers at the bachelorette party.' I also told them that I really don't want any of the 'male paraphernalia props' because that really made me uncomfortable. They were all pretty cool with it, because they want me to be happy. I am the bachelorette, after all.
I think that brides should let their 'maids do the planning for the most part--but the bride should say if something makes her uncomfortable and the 'maids should definitely keep in mind what the bride is comfortable with and tailor the party to that!
