You girls all know about the drama that went down last week with my bridal party and my bachelorette party. I asked my MOH to cancel it and she didn't bc she feels bad. Now MORE drama started today. I had ENOUGH. It is not right for me to be literally throwing up every day because of my nerves and stress these people are causing!! I wrote them all a letter.......I think it might still be a little nasty, but I edited it A LOT and took out a lot of other nasty things I wanted to say. Here it is, let me know if you think it was totally wrong:
I am writing you girls this letter because enough is enough. I have kept my mouth shut for so long for fear of sounding like a pushy bride or a *****, but I've just had enough.
I really cannot get over the amount of drama and problems going on. And this is not directed towards one person individually, but the group as a whole, since it has not been just one person causing problems, but several. A bridal party is supposed to HELP, not stress out! For quite awhile, but more predominately in the last week, I have done nothing but listen to bitching about my wedding. This is supposed to be HAPPY. Out of the entire wedding process and planning the most stress I have had is from the bridal party. When I asked you to be in my bridal party, I asked you because I felt you were an important person in my life. Its very disheartening to find out just where I place in some of your lives. Especially at a time that is supposed to be so happy and exciting for Jay, myself and our families.
I don't even know if you girls realize what you are doing to me, but maybe if everyone took a step back, stopped complaining and thinking of themselves, you would see. In the last week I reached the end of my rope. I have literally been sick to my stomach every day over all of this and thats not right.
I didn't speak up in the beginning about things that were bothering me and thats my fault. I just couldn't get over the fact that I was being told 'no' and thought maybe I was being unreasonable. After speaking with other brides and other girls who are presently in wedding parties, I find out I am not being unreasonable at all. I asked for silver shoes and was told 'No, I want black'. So, I went with black shoes. I asked that they be open-toe. I was told 'No, I want closed toe'. So now, half of you are wearing open toe, half of you are wearing closed toe and its just progressed from there. It leaves me sometimes wondering do I even have a say in my own wedding when it comes to the bridal party??
Now, when it comes to my bachelorette party and shower (which I am not even supposed to be included in knowing certain things), all I get are phone calls and emails yelling at me that its too much money or that you won't be coming for some reason or another. Half the time, I don't even know what you are talking about since I was included in on plans, as it should be. The last thing I ever wanted to do was put people in debt, but in my defense, you knew when you accepted that certain costs go into being in the bridal party. In addition, if you knew you had a budget or financial difficulties you had all these months to go to Erin, my Mom, or myself and maybe something could have been worked out. I don't think its right to now-so close to the wedding-make me feel guilty about things I am not even supposed to be involved in. I have been so upset the last week about people complaining about my bachelorette party and shower that my parents have offered to pay for my bachelorette party. Pretty sad when my parents have to offer to pay for my friends to take me out, huh?
I am not trying to make myself sound like a saint, but I feel I have always been there for you girls. Every celebration you have had-birthdays, graduations, showers, etc. we have been there. Jay and I went through a VERY rough year last year, both emotionally and financially, but we were still always there for anything we were invited to.
Since it is such a huge inconvenience for everyone, I have asked Erin to please cancel my bachelorette party. I really don't want one at this point.
In addition to that, if you don't want to be in my bridal party, please let me know now and you are off the hook. I don't want anyone feeling forced to be a part of my wedding.
Dooodles
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Re: Basically....I just told off my bridal party....
I'm glad you decided to get her out of your BP. I have a feeling things will improve so much more now. And hopefully this won't come between FH and his friend. That guy must have some patience to be married to that woman!
anjerandunder
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WOW..sorry to hear about all this..they are very selfish
bluesashbride
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Posted by ellengrisal
princesspeanut,
i would kick her out IMMEDIATELY! you and your bridal party do not and should not have to deal with someone like her. if she's making you this miserable over the happiest time in your life, then she's no friend. JMO.
also, who is she to accuse you of not loving your FH???? i'd be FURIOUS!
ditto DITTO! get rid of this horrid person!
alexlynn7
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OMG!!!!!! this woman sounds like a crazed lunatic. when i become a psychiatrist in 2 months, give her my card
seriously, good riddance. and i'm glad you got to the bottom of this whole fiasco. your letter sounded perfect to me - truthful and communicative, but not attacking or harsh.
so happy this situation is slowly resolving so you can go back to some HAPPY wedding planning!
jimmysgrl
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Okay, I cannot even believe this is happening to you..........I'm thinking maybe this couple doesn't even need to be coming to the wedding, in all honesty. You don't need that kind of person there.....really.
TEDNJENN
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Posted by PrincessPeanut
Posted by katieshope
How old is this girl?? She sounds very immature!!!
She is 33!! I'm 23 and one of the insults she used was my Immaturity is showing. In all honesty, the one thing I know I am not is immature! Bitchy maybe but not immature
PS.- TednJenn- feel free to use the letter!! I truly hope everything works out for you though and there will be no need for it!!!
Thanks I hope so too!!
melissaandsean
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Posted by ellengrisal
princesspeanut,
i would kick her out IMMEDIATELY! you and your bridal party do not and should not have to deal with someone like her. if she's making you this miserable over the happiest time in your life, then she's no friend. JMO.
also, who is she to accuse you of not loving your FH???? i'd be FURIOUS!
I completely agree. Boot her a$$!
Sweetpea130000
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JPC1125
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not only would i kick her out of the wedding party, bye bye invite and get her out of your life in general.....she sound poisonous!!!!
ugh....plus i woudl get the rest of your bp together and have a re-bonding session now that shes out...go out for drinks or a girls spa day or something and get closer to each other now that the one ruining it is out of the picture
divabride
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I agree with Anti-bride. I would think twice about inviting this couple to your wedding. I know how tight the guys are, but this girl is going to jump through hoops to ruin your day. Im glad she's out of your wedding party, and hopefully things will get back on track. Good luck and keep us posted!!
Borricuamorena0905
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You did a great job! DELETE HER PLEASE!!!!!!!!
Here's some for you!
marc_rai
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Posted by Borricuamorena0905
You did a great job! DELETE HER PLEASE!!!!!!!!
Here's some for you!
Delete her, like she can press backspace. That's funny. You're deleted!
Bunnymonkey
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Great letter. Hang in there and stand your ground!
meredith24
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See its worth venting sometimes. So is the evil BM going to be out of the wedding? I feel much better that everything is out in the open and i dont even know these people. But i know the stressfull feeling you get when the BM are having problems, i had one drop out on me too. Good luck with the rest. You should have your bachelorette party now that everything is resolved. You are never going to get the chance to do it agian.
SeptWed
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to you for your issues you are going through.
I hope you don't mind me butting in here but everyone is going to expect some drama in a wedding party, but i would not hold your bridal party liable for the issues this woman was causing htem before hand.
Just a bit of advice i have learned over the years. If you are good friends with people and in a group setting things change, you usually find there is one girl causing the issues and the other girls don't know how to react to her or the situation.
I say kick the biatch out, and have a whooping good bachelorette party with the other girls in your bridal party.
Dama88
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Re: Basically....I just told off my bridal party....
What a b!t@h. You and your bms need to meet up with her in a back alley and hem her a&& up!!!! I hope things work out between the men, but she is poisonous and will do everything she can to prevent that from happening. Remind FH it is her not his friend. She probably lied on her own husband. Dismiss her out of your mind immediately. Like Anti-Bride said, now that the sickness is gone, get together with the rest of the ladies and reconnect. Make it fun gain!!!
tray831
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Posted by PrincessPeanut
PS. I even have one girl who just told us she won't attend my bachelorette party or shower because she doesn't want to contribute or have to chip in on a gift!!! And she's a BM!
Holy Sh&&--Why did she agree to be a BM then? She couldve just said NO and made things simple
By the way, is this the same crazy lunatick that keeps telling everyone off??
aok2000
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Re: Basically....I just told off my bridal party....
I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad that you were able to find out the cause of all this trouble. This girl sounds like real trouble, and as a previous poster said, 'poison'! I know your FH is friends with her husband, but try to get her out of your life as much as possible. She sounds like a very jealous person who has nothing better to do than sabotage other people good fortune. Maybe you and your other BM's should get together and regroup, now that the evil one is out of the picture, I bet things will be different. Here's a for you!
103005FallBride
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Re: Basically....I just told off my bridal party....
I cannot even imagine what you're going through. It's amazing how at such an important time in your life...the people you want and need the closest to you are not around or are even worst...treating you the way they're treating you. I'm so sorry this is happening to you... I feel like giving my very small BP a great big hug for being so supportive.
Good luck...I hope they realize what they're doing before it's too late.
SPITSBRIDE
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Wow, my heart goes out to you also. Whatever you do try to not make this get to you, this is supposed to be a HAPPY time in your life. I don't know if these are relatives or friends BUT if they are friends than you need to cut all ties with them because they are NOT your friends. I don't mean to make you feel worse but what they are doing to you is VERY cold hearted, to think about themselves when it's your wedding.
I am mad for you because if anyone ever did that to me I would loose it! Just try and enjoy yourself, this is supposed to be one of the happiest moments in your life and DON'T let anyone bring you down.