being invited or thinking of inviting [updated with more detail now]

Would you attend the wedding of someone [a friend] who didn't know your current relationship status [married OR engaged]???

Would you invite someone [a friend...not like your mom's cousin you've met once] who didn't know the current relationship status you share with FH OR DH?

Or would you figure that you are NOT close enough to feel the obligation to really WANT to attend?


Just curious.


I'll explain after some replies.

okay...i've answered---please explain this rather unique question!

lol

I think it depends... need to know a little more before I decide.

If it's just a random acquaintance, I'd say no but, if it was someone who at one point was an important part of your life and has become an acquaintance, I'd say yes. Although, being the invitor, I would've contacted the person first to see what their current status was...

Sometimes things happen in life that move very close friends to the back burner. The best thing about them is that they are always ready to be front burner again if you let them. Thats what defines a friend.

Clearly I have a few friends that I can go months without talking to and visversa so I am the yes.

If that is not the situation then I would say no.

Is this the person that invited you and FH to their wedding without your married names?

It really depends, are we talking about family here?? I have some 1st cousins that I never see so I never know what their status is, but I invited them to our wedding bc our relation to each other (and in an attempt to get back in touch).

If it's a friend and I'm not close enough with them to know their current status then no, I wouldn't invite them to my wedding. And if someone invited me w/out DH bc they didn't know my status then I wouldn't attend. I would see it as asking for a gift. With friends there are other ways of getting back in touch other than sending a wedding invitation.

Did that all make sense?? Ok Cheryl, spill it, we want the details!!!!

It's so funny you are asking these two questions, b/c I'm in a similar dilemna at the moment. I'm sitting on the fence right now about whether to give one of my BM's the go ahead to tell a 'former' friend that I am engaged and getting married.

Explanation:

The three of us went to college together. Circumstances occurred where 'former' friend stopped speaking to the two of us (me & BM). (she completely overreacted to a joke). When I graduated from law school everyone thought it would be a good idea to reestablish ties with said friend. Upshot - she was invited to grad party, attended and we reestablished friendship until @ 4 years ago when we had MAJOR blowup.

Now, said friend sent email to BM who mentioned she would be in NY next month, and said 'former' friend replied please come visit me and bring Darlene. BM has now asked me if she should say she can't go upstate NY b/c she will be here for my wedding and won't have time.

I was the only witness to said 'former' friend's wedding @ 7 years ago. The blowup took place at BM's wedding 4 years ago. So, now it's my turn. If BM mentions wedding 'former' friend will probably find a way to get in touch with me, but I'm not sure I want to go through that again.

If this is someone who you were very close with for a while and considered yourself great friends then I would say to attend.

As people get older, friends grow distant but even though I may talk to some of my old friends maybe 2x a year or only around holidays, I understand that they have families too and our lives can be different but at the same time, I did share a great friendship with them at one time.

I am thinking of inviting them to our wedding. if they are not intersted, then they won't have to go. That's how I see it. After all, the reason why we have grown apart is b/c they got married before me and already have children and moved out east.

Call me crazy, call me what you will, I still consider these people my friends.

In another words, if you don't think you should go, then don't attend. JMO

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Posted by GabrielleandJohn

Sometimes things happen in life that move very close friends to the back burner. The best thing about them is that they are always ready to be front burner again if you let them. Thats what defines a friend.

Clearly I have a few friends that I can go months without talking to and visversa so I am the yes.

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I completely agree...I have a lot of friends that have kind of been in and out of my life....but at the same time, when they're 'in' it's never felt like they were out....if that makes sense lol. So sometimes even if we don't speak for a month or two.....you still feel the connection that lead you to be friends in the first place.

I would probably attend if this person meant something to you at some point....regardless of whether they haven't been all caught up on your life and your recent events.

Would you attend the wedding of someone [a friend] who didn't know your current relationship status [married OR engaged]??? Yes
Would you invite someone [a friend...not like your mom's cousin you've met once] who didn't know the current relationship status you share with FH OR DH? If I liked the personYes

Or would you figure that you are NOT close enough to feel the obligation to really WANT to attend? Maybe im slow, but I dont understand this one.. Pls help

OK.....so, as it turns out the reason we received an invitation from one of DH's friends to her wedding addressed to us as an unmarried couple is because: DH NEVER called her and got her address [to invite her to our wedding] or told her we were married!

So he asked me if I wanted to go...I said No. My basis being that we didn't seem to find her important enough in our lives to get her address [a 30 second phone call] for our wedding OR notify her that we're married...and we haven't spoken to her in a year that I just didn't feel the normal obligation to attend.


He suddenly [after telling me it was up to me] was annoyed by that. Shocker.

I was just curious what the ladies here would say...this is a FRIEND that DH knew in undergrad...but they were never really CLOSE-close. Just 'good friends.' I can honestly say that NOW they are more like distant acquaintances than friends at all actually. To not know the MARITAL status of a friend really shows how close you are I think. No one I would consider a friend does NOT know I'm married...now there are acquaintances who if I see them in public that might not know...or might run into when I visit NC...but my friends, the people I call when I need a shoulder, they ALL know.


men!

[furthermore, it's a sunday in November...as in FOOTBALL season...figured he'd much rather watch football]

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Posted by CLMon7906

[furthermore, it's a sunday in November...as in FOOTBALL season...figured he'd much rather watch football]

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