Beware: self-pitying rant inside (long and probably doesn't make sense)

It's become clear to me that no one is excited about my wedding but me.

My family is, for some reason, terrified of talking about it, because a) they don’t want to make my sister (the gosh darn MOH—not necessarily my choice there) jealous even though she’s younger so it’s not like she’s bitter about not getting married and b) it makes my mom get bizarrely anxious because she doesn’t know how to plan these things. Um, that’s why I’m taking control of this, Mom.

My friends could care less, regardless of the fact that they’ve known and liked FH for as long as I have. Mostly, they seem to be upset because I’m not as keen as going out and getting trashed with them which was done last, um, about three years ago?! It’s not like there was a sudden change there. I’ve tried to include them in other things, but their apathy just stings. I actually got an e-mail from one friend saying “oh, I got the invite to the engagement party—it was really pretty!” and I responded with “Thanks! Most importantly, though, does that mean you can come?” Absolute silence for over a week until I finally got her to pick up her cell phone.

Even people at work! When my supervisor heard, she said something along the lines of “Oh, I didn’t know Carl was in like Flynn!” Regardless of the fact that that was probably one of the oddest expressions ever, it just ticked me off: I’ve only been here for three months. I didn’t know I was supposed to tell you my entire relationship history.

I know I sound like a big whiney baby. It just hurts that whenever I try to bring up anything wedding related, more often than not the topic is changed very quickly. And it’s not because people think I shouldn’t get married; everyone loves FH and we’ve been together for about seven years. Everyone seems to love the idea of FH and I being married.

Sorry—I just need to rant and rave for a sec, lol. I doubt any of that made sense.