Black Tie Affair

I just got invited to a wedding that is 'Black Tie'

does that mean that my FH HAS to wear a tux? It didnt say optional. I just find this to be a big extra expense. I would rather not take it out of her envelope if he has the option of wearing a suit. What do you guys think?

Nope. A dark suit is fine.

(There will be a lot of disagreement on this subject, just an FYI)

ETA: I've been to three black tie weddings in the past 8 months. All of them had some men in dark suits and no one had a problem with it. I would just check around, see what the other guys are wearing - you don't want your FH to feel out of place either.

Unfortunately, he has to wear a tux. If it was optional, he could wear a suit.

Where is the wedding?

Do you think everyone will be wearing a tux?

Thi is my opinion. if you're close to them, and it's not at a really fancy shmancy place,a plain black suit could be fine

but I also feel very strongly that men should own a tux. There are so many times in your life when you're going to need one, and all of those rental fees add up. Men's Wearhouse has really good deals on tuxes. If you're in the corporate worl, you're going to have events, and you'll also always ahve plenty of fmaily and firned getting married throughout the years. i think it's a good investment.

As women, we all have spend MORE money than that buying our formalwear for such events. Guys should do the same. it saves money in the long run.

Black Tie means men must wear a tux. If it was black tie optional or even black tie preferred a dark suit would be okay.

ETA: I think that it's kind of rude to demand that all the men wear tuxes, which is why i prefer 'black tie optional'. However, I can't see how they would mean anything else by saying 'black tie'. That's the wording for the most formal dress.

FH got his tux and MW, and he sepnt $450. He got a Jones NY tux, a tuxedo shirt, shoes, a vest and tie, etc.

He could have gotten it for $100-150 less..they had less expensive tuxes too, but we really liked the Jones NY one, and we figures since it was a lifetime investment, it makes sense to spend more $$.

Even the $450 is a LOT less than I would spend on even just 1 or 2 formal gowns with shoes, undergarment,s purse, etc.

I think it's worth it.

I had my Fh buy one because we had ablack tie wedding to attend, and a few months alter my sis was getting married...so that would have been 2 rentals right there. And since then we've been to two more black tie weddings

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Posted by marymoon

Where is the wedding?

Do you think everyone will be wearing a tux?

Thi is my opinion. if you're close to them, and it's not at a really fancy shmancy place,a plain black suit could be fine

but I also feel very strongly that men should own a tux. There are so many times in your life when you're going to need one, and all of those rental fees add up. Men's Wearhouse has really good deals on tuxes. If you're in the corporate worl, you're going to have events, and you'll also always ahve plenty of fmaily and firned getting married throughout the years. i think it's a good investment.

As women, we all have spend MORE money than that buying our formalwear for such events. Guys should do the same. it saves money in the long run.

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my FH does not work in the corporate world - he wears sneakers and jeans to work...I dont think buying a tux is the right way to go for us.

I've never been to the place but its supposed to be nice - its a Temple in Laurence or Cedarhurst.

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Posted by mscally
my FH does not work in the corporate world - he wears sneakers and jeans to work...I dont think buying a tux is the right way to go for us.

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Mine either. And $450 is a TON of money to spend on something you don't need, esp when planning your own wedding.

Personally, the only time I think a tux is absolutely required is the most formal of circumstances - white tie. I don't think many, if any of us, are in that realm.

I can ask my friends what their dates are wearing - but all except for one of the girls are in the BP - so if their dates wear tuxes I still dont think its comparable to my FH having to wear one.

I dont mean to offend anyone - but I happen to think this whole thing is totally absurd - this is your wedding - not the academy awards!

Black Suit will work - as long as he 'dresses' it up - looks dapper and well groomed, no one will blink an eye.

I tend to disagree that all men need to own a tux.

If he has a jeans and sneakers job, then there's no need. Here's an idea...can you borrow a tux? Does he have dad, uncle, brother or friend who might have one?

FH wears a suit and tie to work EVERY day, and we are in the midst of practically my whole family getting married, so it made a lot of sense...but if you're not in that situation, there's got to be something else you can do. Try borrowing one!

ETA: Yes, i think if your date is in the BP it's different.

Black Tie means wear a tux.. if your FH shows up in a dark suit- it is not like they will kick him out.. but I would think most of the other male guests will be in a tux- with a few exceptions.. So, if you don't want to spend the money- it should be ok.. although I would not recommend.

I think the investment of a tux is a great idea.. You can get some nice priced ones at Syms.. If you don't foresee going to more black tie affairs- it may not be worth it.. But, I think any guy can get a lot of mileage out of one.. that is, if he stays the same size for a few years..

Your fiance will be just fine if he wears a black suit.

There are very few occasions, for most of us, when a tuxedo is needed. The only times my fiance has had to wear a tuxedo was when he was a member of a wedding party. If he owned a tuxedo, he wouldn't be able to wear it as a member of a wedding party since all of the groomsmen wear the same tux.

It all depends on where the event is and what night.

We are invited to a saturday night 'black tie' wedding in NYC and DH will HAVE to wear a tux.

JMO but......he can wear whatever he would like. I'm probably going to make a lot of enemies but I have a really hard time with people telling their guests to spend $1,000 on travel, hotel, tux, airline, and gifts. He'll be fine wearing a dark suit and I promise you, the bride and groom will not even notice (and if they do......well, then.....thats a shame)

Edited to add: please don't think this is directed towards anyone but this was indeed what was expected of me and FH for someone that we weren't even close to. Thats a lot of mula

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Posted by jimmysgrl

JMO but......he can wear whatever he would like. I'm probably going to make a lot of enemies but I have a really hard time with people telling their guests to spend $1,000 on travel, hotel, tux, airline, and gifts. He'll be fine wearing a dark suit and I promise you, the bride and groom will not even notice (and if they do......well, then.....thats a shame)

Edited to add: please don't think this is directed towards anyone but this was indeed what was expected of me and FH for someone that we weren't even close to. Thats a lot of mula

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I'm sure they didn't do it just to make the out of town guests spend a lot of money, I'm sure a lot of people they invited were local, no?

I had a black tie preferred wedding and I don't think it's as big of a deal as everyone makes it. People want their wedding formal, so be it. If you choose to wear a dark suit, no one will really notice anyway.

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Posted by dleeny

IMO, it is pretentious to put black tie on an invite in the 1st place.

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I agree, my FH wants to find a light blue - ruffled shirt suit from the 70's to wear there just to stick it to them.