I just got invited to a wedding that is 'Black Tie'
does that mean that my FH HAS to wear a tux? It didnt say optional. I just find this to be a big extra expense. I would rather not take it out of her envelope if he has the option of wearing a suit. What do you guys think?
jimmysgrl
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Posted by mscally
Posted by dleeny
IMO, it is pretentious to put black tie on an invite in the 1st place.
I agree, my FH wants to find a light blue - ruffled shirt suit from the 70's to wear there just to stick it to them.
dkwife
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Posted by dleeny
IMO, it is pretentious to put black tie on an invite in the 1st place.
Why?
ellengrisal
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Re: Black Tie Affair
black tie means black tie. sorry, but that's the way it goes!
my SO wanted to wear a dark tux to a 'black tie optional' but in the end wore his dad's old tux. he was so happy he did because EVERYONE was in a tux.
i do not agree with the 'black tie' event for a wedding. not everyone owns a tux and i think it's a tad bit ridiculous for men to go rent one!
Reesa
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Re: Black Tie Affair
I think that is so ridiculous. Why should you incur such an expense!! He should wear the ruffled shirt!
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Posted by mscally
Posted by dleeny
IMO, it is pretentious to put black tie on an invite in the 1st place.
I agree, my FH wants to find a light blue - ruffled shirt suit from the 70's to wear there just to stick it to them.
IMO, it is pretentious to put black tie on an invite in the 1st place.
Why?
I just think it is inappropriate to tell people what to wear.
littlewilson
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Re: Black Tie Affair
'Officially', it means he has to wear a tux. Unofficially though, I imagine he'd be fine in a dark suit. JMO, but I think that if someone's going to request black tie (i.e. not optional), then they'd better be backing it up with an enormously classy and elegant affair, and not to diss the temple, but as someone else said - the St. Regis it's not.
dkwife
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Posted by dleeny
Posted by dkwife
Posted by dleeny
IMO, it is pretentious to put black tie on an invite in the 1st place.
Why?
I just think it is inappropriate to tell people what to wear.
Well, it's inappropriate for people to come to a formal affair in non-formal attire, believe me, not everyone knows proper etiquette.
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Black Tie Affair
I went to a millionaire's daughters wedding years ago at Windows On The World which was black tie... and even at this lavish affair some of the guests were not in tuxedos.
Black tie is not only asking a man to wear a tux, it's also asking the women to wear a gown.
I just think that is wrong. Let people wear what they want.
leighdvm
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Posted by dkwife
Posted by dleeny
Posted by dkwife
Posted by dleeny
IMO, it is pretentious to put black tie on an invite in the 1st place.
Why?
I just think it is inappropriate to tell people what to wear.
Well, it's inappropriate for people to come to a formal affair in non-formal attire, believe me, not everyone knows proper etiquette.
IMO, there's a difference between formal attire and black tie. Having black tie is inconvenient to alot of men who don't own tuxes.
dkwife
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Posted by dleeny
I went to a millionaire's daughters wedding years ago at Windows On The World which was black tie... and even at this lavish affair some of the guests were not in tuxedos.
Black tie is not only asking a man to wear a tux, it's also asking the women to wear a gown.
I just think that is wrong. Let people wear what they want.
So, if you were having a saturday night affair spending over $200/pp you wouldn't care if someone wore khakis and a golf shirt?
Janice
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Treat DH to a tux and put the reciept in a card in place of a gift
ambersmom
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Re: Black Tie Affair
I think this would be awesome for your FH to wear..
I went to a millionaire's daughters wedding years ago at Windows On The World which was black tie... and even at this lavish affair some of the guests were not in tuxedos.
Black tie is not only asking a man to wear a tux, it's also asking the women to wear a gown.
I just think that is wrong. Let people wear what they want.
So, if you were having a saturday night affair spending over $200/pp you wouldn't care if someone wore khakis and a golf shirt?
I've never seen anyone show up to any kind of wedding in a golf shirt and khakis. I guess it depends on the people on your list. And for the record, I started out by saying 'in my opinion'.
marymoon
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Re: Black Tie Affair
I don't really think it's pretentious. You're setting the tone for the affair. Some people REALLY don't know. They don't know what kind of place it is and look for some kind of guidance. I definitely want to put something about attire on my invites because FH's family is very lid back, and I really want an elegant affair. i think I'm going to go iwith 'formal reception to follow at...', so they can interpret that any way they want, or maybe black tie optional.
I actually prefer black tie events. It makes it SO much easier, because I know what to wear to fit in. I don't have to do enormous research on the place, or analyze if a sunday night ina holiday weekend carries the same formality as a saturday night normally does. I have 2 or 3 formal ballgowns that I rotate, depending on whose family it is and who has seen me in what. And FH just wears his tux, it's easy. I personally think that just about any man who buys a tux will get enough miles out of it to make ti worthwhile...and I personally LOVE getting dressed up.
RedHead
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Posted by littlewilson
'Officially', it means he has to wear a tux. Unofficially though, I imagine he'd be fine in a dark suit. JMO, but I think that if someone's going to request black tie (i.e. not optional), then they'd better be backing it up with an enormously classy and elegant affair, and not to diss the temple, but as someone else said - the St. Regis it's not.
i guess BUT IMO...it is MORE expensive to go buy a new suit, need be, than to rent a tux
marymoon
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Also, I don't really think $450 is a lot for a whole getup. FH's work suits were at least $300 apiece and that doesn't include the shoes or shirts and ties.
cloddy
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Re: Black Tie Affair
Here's the thing. The hosts don' t mean optional, unless they say optional, BUT, so far my experience attending these weddings has been that although my husband wears his tux (which he owns, otherwise I'd be just as annoyed as you), plenty of other men show up in suits. I also thinks it's a pain because it means I have to wear a long dress, which is more difficult to find and more expensive than a short one. So, I sympathize. Wear what you truly want. It's not like they won't let you in if you're not properly attired!
NYtherapist
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Re: Black Tie Affair
My invitation says, 'Black Tie Optional.' I don't want people wearing summer dresses because it's a summer wedding. Last summer, I attended a wedding and 3 women were wearing sundresses and flip flops!
On the flip side, I would never insist that the men wore tuxedos.
This certainly has created a heated discussion.
cloddy
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Re: Black Tie Affair
FYI- In order to be helpful, in addition to expressing opinions. I know that if you are interested you can go to K&G Mens store and buy a tuxedo for as little as $99. That's where we purchased my husband's tuxedo. They also have all the accessories for not much more. So, if you do decide to get your man a tux, you're better off buying than renting. It's almost the same price and if you wear it twice you've recouped your costs.
