Black Tie Affair

Its funny..my brother just asked me this question.

He is a 19 year old who doesn't make much money right now. He has one nice suit and asked me if that was ok for a 'black tie' wedding. Unfortunately after reasearching and getting opinions, I realize its not. Sure he could show up in his suit but he doesn't want to feel embarrased if he's the only one in a sea of tuxes.

In my opinion...I wouldn't ever hold a black tie only wedding. I think it IS pretentious and its not taking into account what everyone is able to afford....sure investing $450 in a tux is ok for some...but for people who can barely scrape together gift money? It is asking a lot. Just my opinion!!!

I joked that I was going to have everyone wear kilts at my wedding because that's what FI and GM are wearing.

We were invited to a 'Black Tie Preferred' wedding, I asked the bride, whom I am close to, whether or not it was okay if he didn't wear one. She said it was fine if he came in a dark suit. He wound up renting one anyway so he wouldn't feel out of place.

I'm sorry, that probably doesn't answer your question.

Your FH will be fine in a dark suit. Most tuxes look like suits now anyways.

I don't beleive anyone should tell you want to wear. The tone of your wedding is set by the things you do not by what your guests wear.

I never even received an invitation that said 'formal attire' or 'black tie'..I didnt know a person had to be told what to wear to a wedding,,,common sense a suit for the men and gown/dress/classy pant suit for the ladies..


Do people really dress in khacki's and golf shirt to weddings?? I dont belive it...

I can say that when my fathers youngest brother got married me and all my cousins were in the bridal party and my father and his brother's wore a tux even though they werent in the bridal party...

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Posted by KarenK122

Your FH will be fine in a dark suit. Most tuxes look like suits now anyways.

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I was just going to point this out! My fiance wore a black suit to a black tie wedding that I was a BM in, and you really could not tell that he was in a suit versus a tux. The tuxes looked exactly like FI's suit, except for the shiny lapels. FI certainly did not feel like he stuck out. He wore a beautiful white french-cuff shirt and satiny gold tie and pocket square. Nobody knew the difference.

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Posted by mms

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Posted by KarenK122

Your FH will be fine in a dark suit. Most tuxes look like suits now anyways.

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I was just going to point this out! My fiance wore a black suit to a black tie wedding that I was a BM in, and you really could not tell that he was in a suit versus a tux. The tuxes looked exactly like FI's suit, except for the shiny lapels. FI certainly did not feel like he stuck out. He wore a beautiful white french-cuff shirt and satiny gold tie and pocket square. Nobody knew the difference.

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so then its settled! Im going w/ him wearing a suit! I didnt mean for this to get so heated!

i guess BUT IMO...it is MORE expensive to go buy a new suit, need be, than to rent a tux

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I completely agree with this!!!

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Posted by jozieb0925

i guess BUT IMO...it is MORE expensive to go buy a new suit, need be, than to rent a tux

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I completely agree with this!!!

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Yeah but most ppl already have a suit they can where and even if they do go out and buy a new suit - they will get a hell of a lot more use out of it then a tuxedo rental.

I think I made up my mind - thanks again everyone for your help!

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Posted by jozieb0925

i guess BUT IMO...it is MORE expensive to go buy a new suit, need be, than to rent a tux

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I completely agree with this!!!

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I think your Fh should wear what he wants to wear.
Obviously, the people hosting the party would prefer that he wear a tux, thus the 'Black Tie' on the invitation.
But if he does not own or cannot afford a tux...do you think they would rather he not go, simply because he doesn't feel he has the appropriate attire? I doubt it.

Above all, the important part of any wedding is the fact that people come from all over to share the special day with the bride and groom. If they are in tuxes or jeans.....who cares? They're still there!

Personally, I had an uncle come to my wedding in blue jeans, cowboy boots, cowboy hat and a blazer. I didn't even notice the jeans until we got our pictures back. All I cared about was that he was able to fly in from Arizona with his son to share in my special day.

i think the host meant 'tux only', otherwise they wouldve' put black tie optional or what i put, black tie welcome.

i'm not one to tell people what to wear to a wedding... esp. since fi thinks i have a strange fashion sense at times.

but imo, (no flames please) i just don't agree with making people wear a certain outfit. it's like telling people how much to give you as a gift. it not the guest's fault you spent $500 for them to have dinner at your wedding. they didn't ask for that.

If it says 'black tie,' to me that means that he has to wear a tux. Otherwise, they would've said 'optional,' 'invited' or 'preferred.' If he shows up in a dark suit, I don't think anyone will toss him out but I do think he might feel awkward if he's the ONLY guy not in a tux, you know?

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Posted by CJStein

Unfortunately, he has to wear a tux. If it was optional, he could wear a suit.

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i have been to black tie affairs and many people wear black suits.... peopel will not just go and rent a tux they wear what they have

everyone will not have a tux on

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Posted by marymoon

Where is the wedding?

Do you think everyone will be wearing a tux?

Thi is my opinion. if you're close to them, and it's not at a really fancy shmancy place,a plain black suit could be fine

but I also feel very strongly that men should own a tux. There are so many times in your life when you're going to need one, and all of those rental fees add up. Men's Wearhouse has really good deals on tuxes. If you're in the corporate worl, you're going to have events, and you'll also always ahve plenty of fmaily and firned getting married throughout the years. i think it's a good investment.

As women, we all have spend MORE money than that buying our formalwear for such events. Guys should do the same. it saves money in the long run.

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We actually agree on the tux ownership issue. I always say I have at least 3-4 outfits (including shoes, hosiery, handbags and wraps) that I can wear to a black tie function at any time. Each outfit costing me anywhere from $100-$300. A man can get a basic tuxedo at SYMS or a discount place for under $300, wear it twice and get his money's worth. Perhaps people who don't get invited to many black tie functions consider this a hardship or an inconvenience and that is understandable I suppose.

However, I dont think party location should dictate what a man wears. If he has a tux, wear it, If not, a dark suit is fine.

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Posted by dleeny

Black tie is not only asking a man to wear a tux, it's also asking the women to wear a gown.

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There is a difference between a gown and a long dress. To me a gown implies poufy and boufy and taking up way too much space than a normal person should in normal clothes. I own about 3 long dresses and 3 cocktail dresses ALL of which I would wear comfortably to a black tie function without question.