Black Tie Question

eogara Posted: May 12, 2004 11:54 AM

Black Tie Question

I have a wedding in August that is black tie. Can FH wear a black suit? IMO I think it is so rude to do black tie and expect the guests to rent tuxes, etc but I don't want FH to feel out of place either.

november12003 Posted: May 12, 2004 12:00 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

I've heard that black tie doesn't necessarily mean you have to rent a tux these days. I think it's more to show that it's a formal event. I've been to black tie weddings and not everyone was in a tux anyway.

BrideJamie Posted: May 12, 2004 12:01 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

I don't think they mean you should go out and rent a tux...it means wear a black suit or a tux if you own one. A black suit is perfect.

suven Posted: May 12, 2004 12:03 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

Posted by BrideJamie

I don't think they mean you should go out and rent a tux...it means wear a black suit or a tux if you own one. A black suit is perfect.

I don't know. For my wedding, I want people to wear either a tux or a black suit. So, I was told to print 'black tie optional' on the invite...

nferrandi Posted: May 12, 2004 12:04 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

A dark suit is totally fine.

mnttnbchbride Posted: May 12, 2004 12:05 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

For some reason, my FI's friends are really into the Black Tie thing at their weddings, so I've been to quite a few. My FI has worn a black suit to all of them, and he wasn't the only one. Your FI would be just fine in a black suit.

I agree, I'm not into the Black Tie thing for myself- it's a lot to ask of people, IMO.

eogara Posted: May 12, 2004 12:10 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

Posted by mnttnbchbride

For some reason, my FI's friends are really into the Black Tie thing at their weddings, so I've been to quite a few. My FI has worn a black suit to all of them, and he wasn't the only one. Your FI would be just fine in a black suit.

I agree, I'm not into the Black Tie thing for myself- it's a lot to ask of people, IMO.

Great, that's what I wanted to hear! It's funny - we know these people, they grew up in the same areas and are not these rich rich people but insist on this. Personally I think it's rather haughty.

mnttnbchbride Posted: May 12, 2004 12:16 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

me too- and while my FI and I REFUSE to do a Black Tie thing at our wedding, we're afraid that FIL's may think differently.

I DON'T CARE IF THE ENTIRE GUEST LIST SHOWS UP IN SMURF COSTUMES- I AM NOT ASKING PEOPLE TO WEAR TUXEDOS!!!

Part of my deal is also that we have about 90% of our guests from OOT, and to ask them to fly across country and then rent tuxedos sounds like a lot.

I will admit that it looks really nice when everyone is wearing tuxes and black suits, but I'm just not planning on doing it myself.

On the other hand, it's always been a good excuse for me to go out and buy a new fancy dres....

tourist Posted: May 12, 2004 12:25 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

I think it depends if it says Optional or not.

I think if it were me, FH would rent a tux 9 and complain about it) because his only suit is blue/gray.

If he does go with the suit, see if you can find a solid tie, like a tux would have ( or a bowtie if you really want )

I think it is more common to do black tie in circles were you attend a lot of functions & a suit is a daily thing & the men probably own a tux or 2 for weddings, fundraisers, etc.

But I guess some people just want a formal function for the heck of it. It is fun to play dress up

FFIL owns a tux, I'm not sure why. He's worn it on a cruise & to 1 black tie wedding as far as I know.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: May 12, 2004 03:08 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

I would say if it says black tie optional or black tie preferred a dark suit is TOTALLY appropriate BUT I hate to say it if it says black tie - then men are supposed to wear tuxes - that was why people put preferred or optional to give men the option of whether or not they wish to wear them

eogara Posted: May 12, 2004 03:34 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

Rob-luvs-me, that's what I was afraid of. From what I understand, there is no 'preferred' or 'optional' (invitations haven't been sent yet). Crap.

Shea Posted: May 12, 2004 03:39 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

i think a black suit is fine.

we wrote Black Tie Optional on ours, just so people know that it is a formal wedding. his family is a little clueless so we thought maybe if we wrote black tie optional, that they would atleast show up in a suit!

MrHostility Posted: May 12, 2004 03:44 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

If I had to rent a tux, that money would come out of the gift. Suit is fine.

August2004 Posted: May 12, 2004 03:48 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

If the invite says Black Tie, I would have FI rent a tux, if it says Black Tie Invited/Optional/Preferred that doesn't necessarily mean that he needs to rent a tux but dress in a nice dark suit.

p.s. - Just a question Mr. Hostility(only because I've had the same conversation with FI), if you had to travel and spend money on a hotel for someone's wedding would that money come out of the gift too?

StepherG Posted: May 12, 2004 04:04 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

ChristineC68 Posted: May 12, 2004 04:39 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

IMO

Black tie = tux

Black tie optional/preferred = dark suit or tux

In general I think 'people' are less formal these days and that black tie means they are serious about suits.

We had a formal evening wedding but didn't specify attire - there were men in sports jackets and with out ties. These would be automatic for DH - he always wears a suit and tie to a wedding.

If we were invited to a black tie wedding we wouldn't deduct from the gift even if DH rented a tux. Just as we wouldn't give a smaller gift if we have to travel or if the venue was casual.

jill13bean Posted: May 12, 2004 08:02 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

Black tie means TUX
if it says OPTIONAL then you can wear a suit or a tux(formal)

my parents were just at a wedding that was BLACK TIE and they said everyone was in a tux

if you don't want him to feel out of place he should wear a tux

also black tie means give more $$$$ hahahqa
its the truth

i am doing black tie optional
i think it is rude to tell people that they ahve to wear something(a tux)

prncssrachel Posted: May 12, 2004 08:08 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

Well, A) I think a black suit is totally fine, B) I am having a black tie wedding and I only expect black or dark suits because people ARE less formal and I am getting married in a mansion, not a regular reception hall and C) if they feel the need to rent a tux and deduct the money from my gift, that is fine because gifts are not requirements, they are nice gestures from guests. If you give me anything, I will be grateful.
So, to answer the original question, black suit and black tie is more than acceptable.

Marisa&Brian Posted: May 12, 2004 08:29 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

I don't think so - A Black Tie affair IS just that - VERY formal -
There is no 'now a days' when it comes to that - if it's Black Tie it means you're in a gown and he's in a tux. -
'Black Tie Optional' is a different story, but if the invitation specifically says it's a black tie affair, I think he will be under dressed in a suit. - no matter HOW good he looks

jill13bean Posted: May 12, 2004 08:43 PM

Re: Black Tie Question

Posted by Marisa&Brian

I don't think so - A Black Tie affair IS just that - VERY formal -
There is no 'now a days' when it comes to that - if it's Black Tie it means you're in a gown and he's in a tux. -
'Black Tie Optional' is a different story, but if the invitation specifically says it's a black tie affair, I think he will be under dressed in a suit. - no matter HOW good he looks

i totally agree... you don't put BLACK TIE if you don't care if people wear tuxes or not

black tie means TUX
you put optional if you just want it more formal and you dont care if people wear a tux or black suit