ladies i need advice once again, sooo DH and i decided that we wanted no children at the wedding with the exception of my daughter (FG) so we just told his BM which is DH brother. The BM has a daughter which is DH's neice. BM was very offended and said that if daughter wasnt invited that he wasnt goin to the wedding... how selfish is that. My own neice is not even invited and my sis/MOH completely understands me... do u think he's being inconsiderate??
mag2010
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Re: BM bailed out
Do they have anyone that can watch her the day of your wedding? If so I think HE is inconsiderate. I sort of have the same problem with my BM, he has a daughter that is my FH's god daughter and there is no one to watch her the day of my wedding. I really don't want children at the wedding but all of friends/family that would watch her will all be at my wedding so I am left with no choice but to allow her to be there.
Sarahgetsmarried
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Re: BM bailed out
Posted by mag2010
Do they have anyone that can watch her the day of your wedding? If so I think it is inconsiderate. I sort of have the same problem with my BM, he has a daughter that is my FH's god daughter and there is no one to watch her the day of my wedding. I really don't want children at the wedding but all of friends/family that would watch her will all be at my wedding so I am left with no choice but to allow her to be there.
IMHO I disagree with this reply. I do NOT think you are being inconsiderate.
I decided that I am having all 6 of my neice's and nephews at the wedding. They are the only children invited. I personally wanted them there and besides, there would be no one to watch them if they were not invited.
Would it be inconsiderate of me to not invite them? No.,,,,,and my brothers would have to figure something out. Even if that means bringing a babysitter to the hotel to watch the kid for the day.
As brides we all have to weigh a few things here. Whats best for us and what do we want at the wedding. I think it ***** that your Brother in law is getting his pantys in a bunch about this. I see his side and I dont agree, but I DO see how he would be insulted the kid is not invited. Like I said I dont agree with it, but I see it.
So whats right for you? I say talk to him. Find out whats going on without a fighting match. Explain about how you dont want kids there (either its a money issue, space issue or you just dont want kids) find out what his story is.
Its not fair for HIM to extort you lie this. I cant stand this extorshion people commit 'If you dont invite my X i wont be in the party AND I wont come'.
But talk to him and see if you cant get to the bottom of.
pa56
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Re: BM bailed out
People become somewhat selfish and demanding once they have kids... I don't agree with his ultimatum. Your FH has to think about how he wants to proceed. Should he give in for the sake of his relationship with his brother versus stick to his guns and possible have this rift between them for many years?
I think he's being very inconsiderate. To not come to the wedding over it is ridiculous. Esp if he's in the bridal party...
rdubs
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Re: BM bailed out
It is ridiculous for the brother to put that on you and your FH. i think that its not crazy to decide that weddings are for the adults only, expect in your case, of course your daughter. Its your day to share with your FH and daughter.
RitasEngaged
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Re: BM bailed out
Posted by StaceYums81
I think he's being very inconsiderate. To not come to the wedding over it is ridiculous. Esp if he's in the bridal party...
ita
castillo2010
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Re: BM bailed out
yes they have people that could watch her its just that the babies mother doesnt want to leave her daughter with anyone but if it was for her to go out or to go 2work, she wouldnt have a problem leaving the baby to her grandmother. I dont understand that at all... now FH wants to let them bring the baby but if thats the case i have to say to everyone else that has kids and i dont want my wedding day to look like a daycare. BM says why cant his daughter go if my daughter is going?!?! HELLO ITS MY WEDDING DAY AND MY DAUGHTER IS MY DAUGHTER/FG.... geeshhh
castillo2010
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Re: BM bailed out
He wants his daughter there because his daughter always has to be the center of attention, and i cant stand it, they take my daughter's pics down and their parents house to put up their daughters pics, i would rather have anyone elses kid there than theirs... they let her do whatever she wants, and she loves to stick her little fingers in cake, i know her parents will let her do it if she wants, but hey what can i say... thats FH family
mag2010
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Re: BM bailed out
You have right to be angry. I don't even know these people and it makes me angry.
I can't believe that they have the nerve to mention your daughter!....Hello! She is your child where else would she be. Listen you have to ask yourself what is more important and is your FH okay with his brother not attending. If you still feel strongly about the BM bringing their daughter than stand your ground. Good Luck!
grkbarbie
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Re: BM bailed out
well how did he say hes not coming? was he all pi$$y about it with an attitude'well if she cant come then i cant go!'
or was it
'oh im really sorry, but i cant be there because theres no1 to watch her...'
its also how it was said.
marinai7
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Re: BM bailed out
Posted by grkbarbie
well how did he say hes not coming? was he all pi$$y about it with an attitude'well if she cant come then i cant go!'
or was it
'oh im really sorry, but i cant be there because theres no1 to watch her...'
its also how it was said.
I agree. Maybe he is upset that he has nobody to watch her. But then on the other hand, it's not like your wedding is this week, he should have enough notice to get somebody to watch her.
cavvento
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Re: BM bailed out
How old is your niece? Do you think he might be upset over the principle of the matter that you're not having your niece, a close part of the family, there? I know we are not having kids at ours, but we do want our nephews there as they are integral parts of our lives.
