BM Drama

Well...this all started about two weeks ago when I sent out a text message to my bms about going to look for bm dresses. I told them that I had off starting Thursday this week (2 of my bm are teachers so they too have off). Everyone sent a reply back to me even my bm who lives in AZ except one of my bms who is my cousin. Even when I sent out emails with the picture of the dress...everyone responded except her. So she was being a little shady for the very beginning. I saw her about a week and a half ago at our uncle's house and I asked her if she was free on the 7th of April so we could all go and try them on. She said yes. Well today she called me while I was at work and asked if we'd be back by 2:00 because she had a hair appointment. I told her that we probably wouldn't be back by that time. So she said it was okay she'd reschedule. So tonight at around 5:00 she called me saying that she didn't realize she'd have to pay a deposit for the dress and that she didn't have any money. I told her I would find out how much the deposit was and that I would call her back. I explained to her that the salon will not order the dresses unless all of the girls made a deposit 1st. So I called the salon and called her back telling her the deposit was $125. but if she didn't have the full amount they would accept $50 now and she could mail them the rest next week. Well.....she said I'm sorry but I don't have the money right now...I just paid for my summer class and I don't get paid until next week.... I thought that we were only going to get fitted. I told her it's not like this is the 1st wedding you've been in....you know you would have to pay a deposit on the dress. I asked her if she could ask her mom for $50 and then she could mail the rest in. It's not like she is 15 yrs old...she is 20 yrs old and has a job. What the heck??!!!! She said she'd ask her mom and that she would get back to me. So while I was at my part time job tonight I got a voice message from her saying...I really can't afford this right now. I know I should have told you earlier...I can't even afford the installments...I'm in no position to pay for your wedding. (Um excuse me....who is asking you to pay for my wedding??? I'm just asking that you pay for a $220 dress which includes the alterations!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm really sorry...I would have liked to do this for you ...I'm your cousin but I can't afford it ....sorry....bye.

***!!!!!!!!!!!! don't get me wrong I'm so glad this is happening now....way in advance but come on!!!! You'd think that the dress cost $500 or something. My own cousin....never did she say Oh I'm so honored that you asked me to be part of your special day....or in the message please call me back so I can just talk to you about this. Nothing!!! If you could listen to the voice message it was as if she had an attitude while she was leaving me the message.

Anyway...it works out for the best....I was 1 guy short....and I was going to ask one of my guy cousin's who is coming in from Italy to be a gm. So I guess it worked out for the best. It just ***** that my own family would be like this. Like my aunt or uncle couldn't lend her the money....it was only $220...which only $50 needed to be paid now. If she realy wanted to be part of the wedding party she could have even asked me to spot her the money and then she could back me back.


Sorry this is sooo long Thank you for listening to me vent!!!!

wow!!! thats crazy! but like you said, its better now, then later! You can rent me as aBM if you want you just dont expect that from family. i told my girls when I asked them that they shouldnt feel obligated and if they couldnt do it to tell me. it is expensive being in th bridal party but she should have been honest with you in the beginning. $50 cant be too hard to come by. Could she have charged it?

I think she didn't want to be bothered from the beginning I explained to both my bm's and my best man you are responsible for your rentals/purchases this day but I will make it as inexpensive as possible. I told them around $150 for everything hopefully. Tux maybe $90-100.

Anyway If she couldn't afford it she should of spoken up ahead of time and not make you waste your time and energy with her.

So now focus on the girls who want to be there and i hope everything goes smoothly on thurs.

she should've been up front with you if she couldn't afford it...im also worried about going to look at bm dresses, im trying to find them the best possible deal but its not the easiest thing to do sometimes...What one person finds affordable another won't, and then they'll disagree about the dresses. I know 2 of my cousins who are gonna be in my bp wont have much money but i do want them to be a part of it, i know my dad though and he would probably pay for them but it is hard when you have a couple of girls and to all decide on one thing.

The fact that she was in bp's before she should have know she has to put a deposit down so she should've told you from the beginning. Maybe try to work something out with her i dont know...but you also said that it will work out without her so maybe its for the best.

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Posted by SugaBeans

wow!!! thats crazy! but like you said, its better now, then later! You can rent me as aBM if you want you just dont expect that from family. i told my girls when I asked them that they shouldnt feel obligated and if they couldnt do it to tell me. it is expensive being in th bridal party but she should have been honest with you in the beginning. $50 cant be too hard to come by. Could she have charged it?

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Awww....thank you!!! Yes...she could have charged it. But honestly I don't think she wanted to be bothered with being in the bridal party. Whatever!!!!!

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Posted by nifheim

I think she didn't want to be bothered from the beginning I explained to both my bm's and my best man you are responsible for your rentals/purchases this day but I will make it as inexpensive as possible. I told them around $150 for everything hopefully. Tux maybe $90-100.

Anyway If she couldn't afford it she should of spoken up ahead of time and not make you waste your time and energy with her.

So now focus on the girls who want to be there and i hope everything goes smoothly on thurs.

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Thank you....I will be going with my girls on Saturday to order them.

I am sorry you had to deal with this. Thank goodness this has happened now and not right before the wedding.

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Posted by Espo22

she should've been up front with you if she couldn't afford it...im also worried about going to look at bm dresses, im trying to find them the best possible deal but its not the easiest thing to do sometimes...What one person finds affordable another won't, and then they'll disagree about the dresses. I know 2 of my cousins who are gonna be in my bp wont have much money but i do want them to be a part of it, i know my dad though and he would probably pay for them but it is hard when you have a couple of girls and to all decide on one thing.

The fact that she was in bp's before she should have know she has to put a deposit down so she should've told you from the beginning. Maybe try to work something out with her i dont know...but you also said that it will work out without her so maybe its for the best.

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That is crazy Denise...like your dad doesn't have enough to pay for!!!! It's like....all she would have had to pay for was the dress. I am going with silver strappy sandals which I know she has because that's what we used for my brother's wedding 3 yrs ago. (which she was in).

And yes....it works out for the best b/c now I don't have to get the extra guy.

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Posted by love2plan1

That's crazy! Have you ever experienced any type of jealousy from her in the past? I ask because I have a cousin just like that, and my own grandmother says she is jealous that I am getting married. Me, so oblivious never notice it.

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Not at all....she's 6 yrs younger than I am we are both at totally different stages in our lives. At her age I was already teaching and working a second job!!!!

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Posted by SugaBeans

ok so where should I meet you???? hahahaha

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You are too cute!!!!!

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Posted by love2plan1

O ok, well I hope all goes well for you with the rest of the BM's. For me, my cousin and I are 2 weeks apart

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Aw thank you!!! Is your cousin in your bp?

It's best that she pulled out now. Maybe she didn't want to be in it-which is okay, I didn't want to be in every wedding I was in. It suc%$, but I think she is using the $ as an excuse. Don't feel bad, my FSIL pulled out-not because of $, just because she is a bi&*h!

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Posted by snydl40

It's best that she pulled out now. Maybe she didn't want to be in it-which is okay, I didn't want to be in every wedding I was in. It suc%$, but I think she is using the $ as an excuse. Don't feel bad, my FSIL pulled out-not because of $, just because she is a bi&*h!

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Awww....I'm sorry to hear about your fsil....that's very messed up!!!!!!! (Putting it nicely )

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Posted by Princess Cut Bride

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Posted by love2plan1

O ok, well I hope all goes well for you with the rest of the BM's. For me, my cousin and I are 2 weeks apart

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Aw thank you!!! Is your cousin in your bp?

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Yes unfortunatley, I say that because I am just starting the planning and she is already making it hell

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Posted by Princess Cut Bride

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Posted by Espo22

she should've been up front with you if she couldn't afford it...im also worried about going to look at bm dresses, im trying to find them the best possible deal but its not the easiest thing to do sometimes...What one person finds affordable another won't, and then they'll disagree about the dresses. I know 2 of my cousins who are gonna be in my bp wont have much money but i do want them to be a part of it, i know my dad though and he would probably pay for them but it is hard when you have a couple of girls and to all decide on one thing.

The fact that she was in bp's before she should have know she has to put a deposit down so she should've told you from the beginning. Maybe try to work something out with her i dont know...but you also said that it will work out without her so maybe its for the best.

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That is crazy Denise...like your dad doesn't have enough to pay for!!!! It's like....all she would have had to pay for was the dress. I am going with silver strappy sandals which I know she has because that's what we used for my brother's wedding 3 yrs ago. (which she was in).

And yes....it works out for the best b/c now I don't have to get the extra guy.

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yeah but i do understand their situation, going through a hard time now. Its not a typical situation and i know they really want to be a part of it and will do all they can. One had medical problems to take care of and moved back to ny recently and has been looking for a job non-stop...ill help too and my dad is just like that, and if he knows they might not be able to afford it he will take care of it...For my e-party my dad bought my dress, my moms dress, and bought FH shoes, he got mad that Fh already bought his suit bc he wanted to buy it, hes just like that and nobody asked, he just says hes doing it. But ill def put in and help them out. but this is different than your situation

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Princess Cut Bride

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Posted by Espo22

she should've been up front with you if she couldn't afford it...im also worried about going to look at bm dresses, im trying to find them the best possible deal but its not the easiest thing to do sometimes...What one person finds affordable another won't, and then they'll disagree about the dresses. I know 2 of my cousins who are gonna be in my bp wont have much money but i do want them to be a part of it, i know my dad though and he would probably pay for them but it is hard when you have a couple of girls and to all decide on one thing.

The fact that she was in bp's before she should have know she has to put a deposit down so she should've told you from the beginning. Maybe try to work something out with her i dont know...but you also said that it will work out without her so maybe its for the best.

---

That is crazy Denise...like your dad doesn't have enough to pay for!!!! It's like....all she would have had to pay for was the dress. I am going with silver strappy sandals which I know she has because that's what we used for my brother's wedding 3 yrs ago. (which she was in).

And yes....it works out for the best b/c now I don't have to get the extra guy.

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yeah but i do understand their situation, going through a hard time now. Its not a typical situation and i know they really want to be a part of it and will do all they can. One had medical problems to take care of and moved back to ny recently and has been looking for a job non-stop...ill help too and my dad is just like that, and if he knows they might not be able to afford it he will take care of it...For my e-party my dad bought my dress, my moms dress, and bought FH shoes, he got mad that Fh already bought his suit bc he wanted to buy it, hes just like that and nobody asked, he just says hes doing it. But ill def put in and help them out. but this is different than your situation

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Can I adopt your dad?

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Posted by michellecarin

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yeah but i do understand their situation, going through a hard time now. Its not a typical situation and i know they really want to be a part of it and will do all they can. One had medical problems to take care of and moved back to ny recently and has been looking for a job non-stop...ill help too and my dad is just like that, and if he knows they might not be able to afford it he will take care of it...For my e-party my dad bought my dress, my moms dress, and bought FH shoes, he got mad that Fh already bought his suit bc he wanted to buy it, hes just like that and nobody asked, he just says hes doing it. But ill def put in and help them out. but this is different than your situation

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Can I adopt your dad?

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he is crazy and alot of people are scared of him at first lol but he does have a huge heart...you have no idea how many times he came home with stray pets or telling my mom he wanted to adopt some kid who was in a bad home...when hes able to give he likes to do alot for others. Plus those are his only brothers daughters so he would do anything for them.