BM Drama--Cousins-Another update-I'm Done

Don't know if you remember a couple of months ago there was drama with my cousins and its been ongoing since. My cousin sent me a myspace message to come in on Saturday to get her dress... Then I never heard from her (its her and her 2 sisters). I'm done trying and if I dont hear back from them I dont want them in it.

What do you guys think of this email to my cousin:

You know Kate, I waited around for you yesterday. I could've worked but I told my boss that I couldn't. If something came up, you could've had the decency to call me instead of making a fool out of me. I need you guys to come in Saturday. After this weekend, I'm not free for another weekend for a while. If you can't come in, let me know. But I feel that you guys want nothing to do with the wedding. I dont know if you guys feel akward given the family situation, but with 7 months til the wedding, I dont need the extra stress of not knowing what is going on with you guys. If I dont hear back from you by tomorrow, I take it that none of you want to be in it. I've been making efforts this entire time regarding your dresses and trying to keep communication open between the families. No one replies to my text messages anymore or phone calls, and I'm tired of being made a fool of. I'm done trying after this.

that really suucks!! Im sorry you are going through this.

your email sounds fine... I dont think there is much else you can do!

I do hope they get back to you though!

keep us updated

i am sorry you have to go through that. i have the same problem with my cousin.

I'm sorry...

She replied.. She asked why didnt I call her if I was waiting around all day. And yeah she didnt feel comfortable coming in because she doesnt trust me. She thinks I told my mom something she told me, when her sister told my mom! I am so done. She didnt even address not being in the BP

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Posted by cherish83

She replied.. She asked why didnt I call her if I was waiting around all day. And yeah she didnt feel comfortable coming in because she doesnt trust me. She thinks I told my mom something she told me, when her sister told my mom! I am so done. She didnt even address not being in the BP

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so what are you going to do?

'And yeah she didnt feel comfortable coming in because she doesnt trust me' is a huge red flag and makes me go

I'm done. I'm replying back to how why should I have to call and find out where she is if she told me she was coming in. Do I have to beg them to come in? I am not going to be a fool.

They are out

Hey Lady, I remember all of the drama you were having, still reminds me of my family!! I ultimately 'relieved my cousin of the HUGE responsibility' of having to be my BM....because you know just how hard that is..((insert sarcasm here)). IMO I say just tell her forget it. It's so not even worth the drama. You should be enjoying your time planning your wedding and excuse me but YOU DONT NEED THE BULLSHIZNIT!!

This isn't even really related to your post but I think you'll get what i'm saying. We recently had a family shower where the cousin I kicked out of BP was invited. She insisted that she meet me at my house so she wouldn't have to go alone b/c she felt 'UNCOMFORTABLE.' So of course, being the person that I am I said OK. When we got there, she was SO RUDE to other members of the family, blatantly just walking by them and not saying hello and at that moment I was BEYOND RELIEVED that she wasn't going to be there on my special day to make everyone feel uncomfortable. Just cut her loose hunny! FM me if you want to talk. I have been and AM IN the place you are so feel free to talk to me anytime.

so sorry you're going through all of this. I say, don't even address the 'who told your mom what ' situation. simply say that its sounds like it would be best for her to attend as a guest rather than a bridesmaid given her 'opinion' of you. and done. wipe your hands clean and don't get involved in a pissing match!
good luck! let us know!

That s*cks..she should've at least called...no matter how awkward she felt.
Sorry you're going through this.

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Posted by Ray8183

Hey twin, it 's your day. Sometimes family can get the best of us. Will she make or break your BP. If not, go on, don't let family bring you down. As for me, none of my family are in the BP. Too many Drama Kings and Queens. LOL.

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Twin!!!

I feel like them being in it will only cause more stress as it gets closer, so I'm done..

This is what I have written to her so far:

First of all, I am done begging you guys to come in. You said you were coming in, why do I have to freaking call you to see where the hell you are. If I did, I would be a fool. I’ve been nothing but in the middle of the two families the entire time. I’ve talked with you and Nicole to keep lines of communication open and tried to get the families to reconcile. Guess we see where that led. And going to your party, how uncomfortable do you think I was going?? But I figured it would be the RIGHT thing to do and again, try and be the median between the families. How stupid must I have been, and not only to go but bring you guys a gift, wow… I am such a pushover and a fool.

As for not trusting me… I stick to my word. I’ve never opened up my mouth. You and Nicole have trusted me with other stuff as well, I never said anything. What you guys trust me with, stays with me. Why don’t you speak to Nicole and see what she told my mom, before you go and start accusing me. The only thing you told me was that you watch Kelsey some Fridays to Sundays. What is that supposed to mean? I see nothing wrong with Kelsey being with you guys. And that’s not for me to judge.

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by Ray8183

Hey twin, it 's your day. Sometimes family can get the best of us. Will she make or break your BP. If not, go on, don't let family bring you down. As for me, none of my family are in the BP. Too many Drama Kings and Queens. LOL.

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Twin!!!

I feel like them being in it will only cause more stress as it gets closer, so I'm done..

This is what I have written to her so far:

First of all, I am done begging you guys to come in. You said you were coming in, why do I have to freaking call you to see where the hell you are. If I did, I would be a fool. I’ve been nothing but in the middle of the two families the entire time. I’ve talked with you and Nicole to keep lines of communication open and tried to get the families to reconcile. Guess we see where that led. And going to your party, how uncomfortable do you think I was going?? But I figured it would be the RIGHT thing to do and again, try and be the median between the families. How stupid must I have been, and not only to go but bring you guys a gift, wow… I am such a pushover and a fool.

As for not trusting me… I stick to my word. I’ve never opened up my mouth. You and Nicole have trusted me with other stuff as well, I never said anything. What you guys trust me with, stays with me. Why don’t you speak to Nicole and see what she told my mom, before you go and start accusing me. The only thing you told me was that you watch Kelsey some Fridays to Sundays. What is that supposed to mean? I see nothing wrong with Kelsey being with you guys. And that’s not for me to judge.

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It is very obvious in this email how hurt you are. I would say, take a breather before you write the email. Sometimes, even if you're right, it's not worth sending out a nasty letter.....it only makes it worse. I obviously can be a bit of a pushover too.

IMO, I would take some time to think about what you want to say before you snap back at her. No matter how right you are, if you attack her then she will never see your point. Take some time, have a cup of coffee and really think about how you can come across more mature and with more class, don't stoop down to their level. Being the bigger person always pays off.

I feel so bad that you're so angry and hurt. It's a horrible feeling. It took me ALOT to finally say, there is nothing I can do to change this and I will not waste my energy on this negativity. It's definitely hard.

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Posted by anamaree77

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by Ray8183

Hey twin, it 's your day. Sometimes family can get the best of us. Will she make or break your BP. If not, go on, don't let family bring you down. As for me, none of my family are in the BP. Too many Drama Kings and Queens. LOL.

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Twin!!!

I feel like them being in it will only cause more stress as it gets closer, so I'm done..

This is what I have written to her so far:

First of all, I am done begging you guys to come in. You said you were coming in, why do I have to freaking call you to see where the hell you are. If I did, I would be a fool. I’ve been nothing but in the middle of the two families the entire time. I’ve talked with you and Nicole to keep lines of communication open and tried to get the families to reconcile. Guess we see where that led. And going to your party, how uncomfortable do you think I was going?? But I figured it would be the RIGHT thing to do and again, try and be the median between the families. How stupid must I have been, and not only to go but bring you guys a gift, wow… I am such a pushover and a fool.

As for not trusting me… I stick to my word. I’ve never opened up my mouth. You and Nicole have trusted me with other stuff as well, I never said anything. What you guys trust me with, stays with me. Why don’t you speak to Nicole and see what she told my mom, before you go and start accusing me. The only thing you told me was that you watch Kelsey some Fridays to Sundays. What is that supposed to mean? I see nothing wrong with Kelsey being with you guys. And that’s not for me to judge.

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It is very obvious in this email how hurt you are. I would say, take a breather before you write the email. Sometimes, even if you're right, it's not worth sending out a nasty letter.....it only makes it worse. I obviously can be a bit of a pushover too.

IMO, I would take some time to think about what you want to say before you snap back at her. No matter how right you are, if you attack her then she will never see your point. Take some time, have a cup of coffee and really think about how you can come across more mature and with more class, don't stoop down to their level. Being the bigger person always pays off.

I feel so bad that you're so angry and hurt. It's a horrible feeling. It took me ALOT to finally say, there is nothing I can do to change this and I will not waste my energy on this negativity. It's definitely hard.

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I was waiting to see if you replied. You were so helpful last time Thank you for all you advice.

That letter is actually A LOT nicer than it was before... I added on the end... ' I think it would be best for the families, if you 4 were not in the bridal party.' I haven't sent it yet. I dont know how to make it any nicer

hahahah I DEFINITELY know how you feel!!!! The situation completely ***** and all you want is just peace in the family. I still don't understand what is wrong with people, it's ridiculous.

In all honesty, in the words of FH, sometimes I just want to turn to all of them and say ....

F-Youuuuuu, F-youuuuuu, F-youuuuu...((again, I totally vote that they need to make a middle finger Icon here!))

However, it seems like our parent's raised us better than that (mine and yours)

I think you're making the right decision 100%. Are there any girlfriends or happy people in your life that you'd like to include instead?

Seriously, it will ALL be ok. Trust me.

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Posted by anamaree77

hahahah I DEFINITELY know how you feel!!!! The situation completely ***** and all you want is just peace in the family. I still don't understand what is wrong with people, it's ridiculous.

In all honesty, in the words of FH, sometimes I just want to turn to all of them and say ....

F-Youuuuuu, F-youuuuuu, F-youuuuu...((again, I totally vote that they need to make a middle finger Icon here!))

However, it seems like our parent's raised us better than that (mine and yours)

I think you're making the right decision 100%. Are there any girlfriends or happy people in your life that you'd like to include instead?

Seriously, it will ALL be ok. Trust me.

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you are f-bombing hysterical!

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Posted by anamaree77

hahahah I DEFINITELY know how you feel!!!! The situation completely ***** and all you want is just peace in the family. I still don't understand what is wrong with people, it's ridiculous.

In all honesty, in the words of FH, sometimes I just want to turn to all of them and say ....

F-Youuuuuu, F-youuuuuu, F-youuuuu...((again, I totally vote that they need to make a middle finger Icon here!))

However, it seems like our parent's raised us better than that (mine and yours)

I think you're making the right decision 100%. Are there any girlfriends or happy people in your life that you'd like to include instead?

Seriously, it will ALL be ok. Trust me.

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I can't understand how we are related at all!!! It definitely seems that we were raised to respect others! And sadly enough, we try to make people happy before ourselves.

I love the idea of a middle finger icon.. can you imagine us getting one... that would be in almost ever post.. not to mention the drama filled ones

Well, we are cutting out 3 girls and 1 guys..
1 Jr BM.. which is okay because we had 2 Jr Bms and I Jr GM.. so now that will be even. And I have one friend I would add in place of the girls to make it all even.

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It is very obvious in this email how hurt you are. I would say, take a breather before you write the email. Sometimes, even if you're right, it's not worth sending out a nasty letter.....it only makes it worse. I obviously can be a bit of a pushover too.

IMO, I would take some time to think about what you want to say before you snap back at her. No matter how right you are, if you attack her then she will never see your point. Take some time, have a cup of coffee and really think about how you can come across more mature and with more class, don't stoop down to their level. Being the bigger person always pays off.

I feel so bad that you're so angry and hurt. It's a horrible feeling. It took me ALOT to finally say, there is nothing I can do to change this and I will not waste my energy on this negativity. It's definitely hard.

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Good advice! I remember reading the last time you posted about this. I agree...spare yourself the further stress and heartache by continuing to try to work things out with them.

It seems very clear to me that they are not as mature as you nor as kindhearted. It doesn't even sound like they are making any effort at all. This should be a happy time for you, and if they are going to add to your stress instead of trying to make you happy, you're better off making the decision now to, as Anamaree said 'relieve them...'. Good luck to you!