Don't know if you remember a couple of months ago there was drama with my cousins and its been ongoing since. My cousin sent me a myspace message to come in on Saturday to get her dress... Then I never heard from her (its her and her 2 sisters). I'm done trying and if I dont hear back from them I dont want them in it.
What do you guys think of this email to my cousin:
You know Kate, I waited around for you yesterday. I could've worked but I told my boss that I couldn't. If something came up, you could've had the decency to call me instead of making a fool out of me. I need you guys to come in Saturday. After this weekend, I'm not free for another weekend for a while. If you can't come in, let me know. But I feel that you guys want nothing to do with the wedding. I dont know if you guys feel akward given the family situation, but with 7 months til the wedding, I dont need the extra stress of not knowing what is going on with you guys. If I dont hear back from you by tomorrow, I take it that none of you want to be in it. I've been making efforts this entire time regarding your dresses and trying to keep communication open between the families. No one replies to my text messages anymore or phone calls, and I'm tired of being made a fool of. I'm done trying after this.
cherish83
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by Gigi08
It is very obvious in this email how hurt you are. I would say, take a breather before you write the email. Sometimes, even if you're right, it's not worth sending out a nasty letter.....it only makes it worse. I obviously can be a bit of a pushover too.
IMO, I would take some time to think about what you want to say before you snap back at her. No matter how right you are, if you attack her then she will never see your point. Take some time, have a cup of coffee and really think about how you can come across more mature and with more class, don't stoop down to their level. Being the bigger person always pays off.
I feel so bad that you're so angry and hurt. It's a horrible feeling. It took me ALOT to finally say, there is nothing I can do to change this and I will not waste my energy on this negativity. It's definitely hard.
Good advice! I remember reading the last time you posted about this. I agree...spare yourself the further stress and heartache by continuing to try to work things out with them.
It seems very clear to me that they are not as mature as you nor as kindhearted. It doesn't even sound like they are making any effort at all. This should be a happy time for you, and if they are going to add to your stress instead of trying to make you happy, you're better off making the decision now to, as Anamaree said 'relieve them...'. Good luck to you!
Thanks They are not mature.. They are totally self-involved and put a fight against anything i've ever said to them or divert any serious questions or issues.
I would wait and think it over before responding, and then keep it short and sweet.
You have kept making an effort, but have been taken advantage of. Your bridal party should consist of close friends and family, the people who love you and will be there for you, not people who will stand you up because they 'dont trust you.' As much as it hurts you, you think it is easier for everyone involved if they are no longer part of your bridal party.
Gigi08
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by anamaree77
I FOUND HIM!!
Oh that's funny!!
Gigi08
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Thanks They are not mature.. They are totally self-involved and put a fight against anything i've ever said to them or divert any serious questions or issues.
It sure sounds that way...
anamaree77
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Ok, how's this:
Dear Bridesmaid,
After much consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it would be in my best interest to demote you from the honor of being my bridesmaid. Therefore, I rescind my invitation which I lovingly extended in hopes that you would share my special day with me. I apologize for assuming that, after all we have been through, you would gladly take this opportunity to share in life's joy's and blessings as I prepare to marry the man of my dream's. I don't know what I was thinking and I didn't realize how I was imposing on you by expecting you to conduct yourself like a member of my family. It was very selfish of me and I will be sure to never make that mistake again. Lucky for us, one day you too will begin this journey into marriage with wonderful hopes of becoming a wife and mother. At that time, I promise to make it up to you by conducting myself more appropriately. My greatest wish for you is that you are treated with as much respect and consideration as you have given me. Nothing would make me happier than to know that drama and pettiness will surround you during your wedding planning as this seems to consume you and make you happiest of all. Again, truly, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for showing me your true colors and preventing me from making a huge mistake. I have learned my lesson well and will move on and burden someone more deserving with this honor. All my love, The Bride.
ok really don't send this.
Gigi08
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by anamaree77
Ok, how's this:
Dear Bridesmaid,
After much consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it would be in my best interest to demote you from the honor of being my bridesmaid. Therefore, I rescind my invitation which I lovingly extended in hopes that you would share my special day with me. I apologize for assuming that, after all we have been through, you would gladly take this opportunity to share in life's joy's and blessings as I prepare to marry the man of my dream's. I don't know what I was thinking and I didn't realize how I was imposing on you by expecting you to conduct yourself like a member of my family. It was very selfish of me and I will be sure to never make that mistake again. Lucky for us, one day you too will begin this journey into marriage with wonderful hopes of becoming a wife and mother. At that time, I promise to make it up to you by conducting myself more appropriately. My greatest wish for you is that you are treated with as much respect and consideration as you have given me. Nothing would make me happier than to know that drama and pettiness will surround you during your wedding planning as this seems to consume you and make you happiest of all. Again, truly, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for showing me your true colors and preventing me from making a huge mistake. I have learned my lesson well and will move on and burden someone more deserving with this honor. All my love, The Bride.
ok really don't send this.
As Bluegreen said, short and sweet is probably best at this point.
Fall Bride 2008
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
i think its to the point but I would have called them instead..... thats terrible sorry you have to g o through this
cherish83
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by anamaree77
Ok, how's this:
Dear Bridesmaid,
After much consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it would be in my best interest to demote you from the honor of being my bridesmaid. Therefore, I rescind my invitation which I lovingly extended in hopes that you would share my special day with me. I apologize for assuming that, after all we have been through, you would gladly take this opportunity to share in life's joy's and blessings as I prepare to marry the man of my dream's. I don't know what I was thinking and I didn't realize how I was imposing on you by expecting you to conduct yourself like a member of my family. It was very selfish of me and I will be sure to never make that mistake again. Lucky for us, one day you too will begin this journey into marriage with wonderful hopes of becoming a wife and mother. At that time, I promise to make it up to you by conducting myself more appropriately. My greatest wish for you is that you are treated with as much respect and consideration as you have given me. Nothing would make me happier than to know that drama and pettiness will surround you during your wedding planning as this seems to consume you and make you happiest of all. Again, truly, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for showing me your true colors and preventing me from making a huge mistake. I have learned my lesson well and will move on and burden someone more deserving with this honor. All my love, The Bride.
ok really don't send this.
Thats sooo great!!!
But i sent a letter to her and she replied.. And brought up other family crap! Nothing having to do again with the wedding. She said I shouldn't have gone to the party if it inconvenienced me. I replied to her nonsense and said that I was happy to go to the party to see you guys because I missed you, but I'm sure you can understand why I would be uncomfortable.
Ray8183
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
I agree, short and sweet like honey is dripping from your mouth. Stop stressing, you are giving them way too much energy of your life. Just thank them for their time and move on. Your day should be filled with love and understanding not drama queens.
colleen1117
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by cherish83
Posted by anamaree77
Ok, how's this:
Dear Bridesmaid,
After much consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it would be in my best interest to demote you from the honor of being my bridesmaid. Therefore, I rescind my invitation which I lovingly extended in hopes that you would share my special day with me. I apologize for assuming that, after all we have been through, you would gladly take this opportunity to share in life's joy's and blessings as I prepare to marry the man of my dream's. I don't know what I was thinking and I didn't realize how I was imposing on you by expecting you to conduct yourself like a member of my family. It was very selfish of me and I will be sure to never make that mistake again. Lucky for us, one day you too will begin this journey into marriage with wonderful hopes of becoming a wife and mother. At that time, I promise to make it up to you by conducting myself more appropriately. My greatest wish for you is that you are treated with as much respect and consideration as you have given me. Nothing would make me happier than to know that drama and pettiness will surround you during your wedding planning as this seems to consume you and make you happiest of all. Again, truly, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for showing me your true colors and preventing me from making a huge mistake. I have learned my lesson well and will move on and burden someone more deserving with this honor. All my love, The Bride.
ok really don't send this.
Thats sooo great!!!
But i sent a letter to her and she replied.. And brought up other family crap! Nothing having to do again with the wedding. She said I shouldn't have gone to the party if it inconvenienced me. I replied to her nonsense and said that I was happy to go to the party to see you guys because I missed you, but I'm sure you can understand why I would be uncomfortable.
holy cow thats a fabulous letter! so many on this site would benefit from that!
Ray8183
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by colleen1117
Posted by cherish83
Posted by anamaree77
Ok, how's this:
Dear Bridesmaid,
After much consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it would be in my best interest to demote you from the honor of being my bridesmaid. Therefore, I rescind my invitation which I lovingly extended in hopes that you would share my special day with me. I apologize for assuming that, after all we have been through, you would gladly take this opportunity to share in life's joy's and blessings as I prepare to marry the man of my dream's. I don't know what I was thinking and I didn't realize how I was imposing on you by expecting you to conduct yourself like a member of my family. It was very selfish of me and I will be sure to never make that mistake again. Lucky for us, one day you too will begin this journey into marriage with wonderful hopes of becoming a wife and mother. At that time, I promise to make it up to you by conducting myself more appropriately. My greatest wish for you is that you are treated with as much respect and consideration as you have given me. Nothing would make me happier than to know that drama and pettiness will surround you during your wedding planning as this seems to consume you and make you happiest of all. Again, truly, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for showing me your true colors and preventing me from making a huge mistake. I have learned my lesson well and will move on and burden someone more deserving with this honor. All my love, The Bride.
ok really don't send this.
Thats sooo great!!!
But i sent a letter to her and she replied.. And brought up other family crap! Nothing having to do again with the wedding. She said I shouldn't have gone to the party if it inconvenienced me. I replied to her nonsense and said that I was happy to go to the party to see you guys because I missed you, but I'm sure you can understand why I would be uncomfortable.
holy cow thats a fabulous letter! so many on this site would benefit from that!
We all have someone to send this too.
Gigi08
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
You know, at this point, spare yourself the stress. It's probably best to avoid the further pissing match and just tell her/them you feel it's best for them to not be in the bridal party. All of the other nonsense is really irrelevant. And what did her 'not trusting you' have to do with her honoring a commitment she made and showing up the other day anyway?
GinaBambina08
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Your email was straight to the point which i think is good, no room for misinterpretations...with the way they've been acting, they needed to be told that..
cherish83
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Thanks girls. I'm all heated up right now from her stupid emails which have nothing to do with my concerns... But you guys make me feel soo much better!
NikkiR515
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by cherish83
Thanks girls. I'm all heated up right now from her stupid emails which have nothing to do with my concerns... But you guys make me feel soo much better!
Cheer up Megs! I know what you have been going through these past few months and it is sooooooooooooo not worth it!!!! The rest of us BM's are here for you no matter what!!!!!
cherish83
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Posted by NikkiR515
Posted by cherish83
Thanks girls. I'm all heated up right now from her stupid emails which have nothing to do with my concerns... But you guys make me feel soo much better!
Cheer up Megs! I know what you have been going through these past few months and it is sooooooooooooo not worth it!!!! The rest of us BM's are here for you no matter what!!!!!
Thanks!! I was just wondering if you read all the emails Thats exactly why I want to cut them out. The rest of you, especially you and daniella show you actually care
Cutechef729
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Awe I'm so sorry!!!! I remember a few weeks ago when you were having problems with them. They obviously don't want to be a part of your special day because they seem to think everything is about them. I agree that you shouldn't include them in the BP. But like everyone else said I wouldn't send the e-mail just yet. Let yourself cool off before it blows up. I hope everything works out!!!!
cherish83
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Re: BM Drama--Cousins-she replied
Ok a lil update. We've emailed eachother back and forth all day long. She kept bringing up old crap and cursing me out. While I not once cursed and at times even agreed with her... But after her last email in which she totally disrespected my mom and talked crap about her, I am no longer replying and am not making any more efforts.
