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BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

ILoveHim Posted:

BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

Okay, so I asked my brother's girlfriend to be a bridesmaid and she accepted. I figured it would be a nice gesture, especially since my brother will be a groomsman. So after months of searching, I chose my favorite dress. It originally costed $350 but I am able to get it for $200. My other four bridesmaids are alright with this price. But she's not, she told me that it's a bit expensive for her and she suggested some other dresses that are cheaper and look nice too (but not just as nice). So I had all of the other bridesmaids vote for their favorite out of those dresses and the original, and most of them still chose the original dress.

I asked my brother to help her pay for her dress and he refuses

Honest opinions please?? Am I being unreasonable? This was by far my favorite dress for the BMs and I'm not going to change it because of her (and my brother's stubborness)
lkdrnw Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

If it is really what you want then keep it---maybe she can work something out with the place---or would you be able to buy it and she can pay you back? That is what I am doing with one BM.

Brian and Marie Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

These days you can't really get anything under $200!!! You are the Bride- if thats what you want then GET it!!! My BM dresses were almost $300 and I had one BM complain (figures she's the one with the most money- hubby is in the SCPD and shes a physical therapist)! I stcuk with it and in the end she apologized and said how happy she was that I wnet with it!!
debismom Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

Debi is having this issue too. She really has her heart set on a $200 gown for the BM; The BM were all invited a year ago, and had time to tuck a
bit of $ away, but I guess they didn't. She has had three girls drop out, leaving four, and two haven't had the courtesy to call her back, to tell her for certain, if they still plan to be in the wedding. What upsets me, is that Debi is always there for her friends, but when she could use their support, they're MIA!!! Mary
JozyLee123 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

Don't you dare change it! I think she is being unreasonable. If she can't afford to pay for a $2oo dress she should have never accepted to be in the party... I think $150-$200 is average so what would she be saving $50? I'm not trying to sound stuck up but I think she has some nerve asking you to change your choice of dress. I can see if it was like $400 but I really don't think $200 is unreasonable!

BNBride60 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

Honestly, the only thing maybe you could do is over to pay the difference between the dresses she likes and the dress you like. And that would literally be going above and beyond on your part!

Changing it is NOT an option. This is your wedding. She is not married yet so she doesn't realize what it is like to be a bride. I picked a $250 dress that I was about to get for $210 + tax with a discount. One of my girls complained and I offered to pay for half because she legitimately has no money.

If she doesn't like it, she'll drop out of the bridal party, which might not be such a bad thing becuase if she is going to give you a hard time with this, she'lll probably give you a hard time with other things int he future (bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc.)
futuremrsfab Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

I think she is being unreasonable asking you to change the bridesmaid gown- it is very nice that you asked her but its your wedding and you should pick the dress that you want- it also sounds like you went to a lot of trouble to make sure that you got the dress at a good price for your bm, so I wouldnt worry.

Belongs2DanBuckley Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

yea that's not expensive at all....she's being difficult.....this is what you need to be aware of when you join a BP...there are COSTS involved....I can understand if she's young or completely broke but still....$200 is more than fair JMO

tlp123 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

$200 is not unreasonable, but maybe she cannot afford it. I agree with the above post, maybe you can pay the cost difference if it is truly an issue. But to change the dress b/c of one bridesmaid, who is not even close to you, should not be done.

It is unfortunate that your brother is not offering to help b/c it sounds like you are really just being respectful to him by asking her in the party in the first place.

ETA: She accepted being a bridesmaid, so she should not be surprised by the cost of the dress.
sumbr08 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

My dresses were $290, but $250 with a discount. I have been stressing over the same thing, not to mention my hotel is not the cheapest either....my friends did not say much about the price, however, they may be discussing the price with each other and not telling me.
I have decided to just not dwell on it anymore because if I went with another dress, I would not have been as happy, plus not to mention how long it took me to find this dress, it would have taken me an even longer time to find a different one.

all in all....it's your day and they have agreed to be a part of it!
RKellner Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

I may be different than everyone.. But for ME 200 is alot to spend on a dress that youll never wear again.....
But thats just me... With that said... I spent about 400 on my dress after alterations, etc... for my cousin's wedding... And I did it with a smile since it was my cousin's day and that is what she wanted... If no one else has a problem with the dress and the cost and that is what you really want... STICK WITH IT!!!! This is your day.. They dont HAVE to be a part of it, they chose to so they either take what comes along with it or dont..
Dont stress it, its your day!!!
bluegreen08 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

I think $200 is on the high end of 'OK' -- I'd say $150-200 is reasonable, anything less is wonderful and anything more is pushing it.

You could offer to help her pay for it, but it's kind of expected for BMs to pay for their dresses and it's not that unreasonable. I think my BM dresses came out to $165ish after discount, but before alterations. I'm hoping they will be around $200 when all is said and done, but luckily they all like the dress.

I wouldn't change it if you are in love with the dress and she's the only one with a problem.
SANDYROODY Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

I have a suggesstion but I don't know how good it is....

I also think that she is being unreasonable but maybe you guys can work something out where instead of you giving her a bridesmaid gift you can offer to help her pay for the dress...maybe contribute $50.00.
Just a thought!
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

Posted by JozyLee123

Don't you dare change it! I think she is being unreasonable. If she can't afford to pay for a $2oo dress she should have never accepted to be in the party... I think $150-$200 is average so what would she be saving $50? I'm not trying to sound stuck up but I think she has some nerve asking you to change your choice of dress. I can see if it was like $400 but I really don't think $200 is unreasonable!


I agree. Don't change it!

I had one of my BM drop out for the same reason (kinda) and the other two are fine with buying whatever dress it needs to be.
lyss0908 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

As someone who has been in 8 weddings and spent approx 800-1000 on each (god what i could do with that money now!) you know that accepting the honor of being a BM comes with a price tag attached. I tried so hard to find a BM dress under 200 and I did- but that is only b/c I got a discount. I do not think you are being unreasonable. In the end, it is your day and if she truly cannot afford to be in the wedding, she can bow out gracefully. no harm, no foul Dont upeset yourself over it-

Mici n KC Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

I think you getting it down to that price is great. See if she can work out some kind of payment plan with the dress store or have your brother lend her the money instead of outright paying for it.

Oh and if she's being this way now, she is going to be a headache with the other girls on the price of things such as your shower and b-party.
ILoveHim Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

Thanks for the advice girls =)

emcheung Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

she has a whole year to pay for it...so i think you should go with your first choice.

tmarie Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

Almost all of the dresses are 200 and up and that you got it for a lot less is great. My BM dresses will be custom made and are costing 300. I felt bad for two of the girls and figured that I will give them each $100 towards it because I am doing something a little more, but other than that you make the decision and they either stay in it or not.

AllyDrew1108 Posted:

Re: BM dress too expensive? (I need opinions, BM issue!)

My friends are broke. I promised I'd pick dresses under $150 as long as everyone likes them. David's Bridal may be cheeseeeee but their prices can't be beat

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