BM issue????

Ok so today I find out that one of my BM who is also from OOT is Pregnant. I am extrememly happy for her but she is due the end of Jan, my wedding is in the beginning of Feb. Im sure she is not gonna wanna fly with the baby 2 weeks after he/she is born. Should I let her know that it will totally be ok if she backed out of the wedding or should I just wait it out and see what she decides. Another issue is we didnt order the BM dresses yet so how are we gonna know her measurements while she is prego??

Who is it Melissa???? One thing you can do is what I did...have her tryon a dress to see what size she is now and then she can estimate what size she may be after the baby is born. If she were to order a size too big no big deal it can be taken in.
OR you can give her theoption to back out this way there will be no surprises in the end. You will know from the begining her plans of either being in it or not.
I'll call ya at work.

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Posted by Mdolph6

Ok so today I find out that one of my BM who is also from OOT is Pregnant. I am extrememly happy for her but she is due the end of Jan, my wedding is in the beginning of Feb. Im sure she is not gonna wanna fly with the baby 2 weeks after he/she is born. Should I let her know that it will totally be ok if she backed out of the wedding or should I just wait it out and see what she decides. Another issue is we didnt order the BM dresses yet so how are we gonna know her measurements while she is prego??

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I would definitely give her an out on this one. I've never been pregnant but i'm sure the last thing i want to do at 9 months pregnant is have everyone stare at how huge i am! But that's just me.

Offer an out and see how she reacts.

If she stays in, this is what my MOH and I did - we had her try on the dress and to get her size and then ordered it 2 sizes larger - always easier to take in a dress, than taking it out.

Just try and choose a dress rhat will flatter her figure if she hadn't lost all her baby weight yet.

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Posted by Mdolph6

I think I am gonna give her the option to back out or not...even though I dont want her to.

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I think the key is to make sure she knows you're only thinking of her best interests. That way she doesn't think: 'She doesn't want me in her pictures', she thinks 'She loves me enough to put my needs first, even on her wedding day.'

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by Mdolph6

I think I am gonna give her the option to back out or not...even though I dont want her to.

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I think the key is to make sure she knows you're only thinking of her best interests. That way she doesn't think: 'She doesn't want me in her pictures', she thinks 'She loves me enough to put my needs first, even on her wedding day.'

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I totally agree. I would leave it up to her and what she is comfortable doing, but make sure she knows that you are thinking of her best interests! good luck!

personally, I think I would give her an option to back out if she needed to.. 2 weeks is really soon.. I dont think I would want to fly that shortly after... I think things will work out though, as upsetting as it may seem!

she's pregnant...so be extremely careful as to how you put it. she could get upset and never speak to you again all because you were trying to keep her from thinking you expected her to be back down to her old size and travelling with a baby within 2-3 weeks...and let's not forget that babies can be 2 weeks late!!!...so she could be delivering on your wedding date!

i would definitely alter her role in the wedding. offer for her to be a 'reader' or something that is easily replaced/eliminated if she can't make it in the end.

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by Mdolph6

I think I am gonna give her the option to back out or not...even though I dont want her to.

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I think the key is to make sure she knows you're only thinking of her best interests. That way she doesn't think: 'She doesn't want me in her pictures', she thinks 'She loves me enough to put my needs first, even on her wedding day.'

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I agree- make sure she knows that you would still love for her to be a BM, but you want to make sure that she's comfortable and would be ok if she was in the wedding, or ok if she was thinking she should back out. I don't think they recommend that babies fly that young- something about the air pressure and their hearing, so she may already be wondering about that, to, cause I doubt she'd leave the baby for a weekend only 2 weeks after its born. Good luck!

Congratulations to you BM, but that is a tough situation. I would ask her how she felt being in the wedding or coming or that matter. If she wants to be in the wedding, there has to be some way to find a dress for her. (Not sure how ) Good Luck though!