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BM Issue LONG

Dani777 Posted:

BM Issue LONG

Ladies... I know I have been asking for your help TONS lately...but another issue came up last night and I'm super annoyed...

I'll try to sum it up best as possible ...

I had asked all the girls to be in my BP waaay back in Dec. All of them were excited and glad. As many of you know, I DO have a large BP, but it's mainly family..I only asked my 2 very closest friends b/c otehrwise I would have 50 people in my party...

Now, here comes the issue.I have been verrrrry VERY nice with helping my girls find cheaper dresses...(under 200 not 400 like I ORIGINALLY wanted).. I'm still lokoing for someone for hair that won't be 100 a head too. And, I have been asking for MONTHS if money is an issue, to tell me RIGHT away b/c I'm planning on purchasing the gifts...that were NOT cheap. Well, my one friend wirtes me an EMAIL ONLY last night... 6 months since I mentioned the money issue...saying that she has been going back and forth with her mom and she just doesn't think she can be in the wedding...I think the exact words were 'I need to bow out of the wedding..'

What makes me so mad is she was in the SAME situation then as she is now...

So she took my bridesmaid newsletter last month...said NOTHING to me. I kept writing emails to see when she can come try the dress on with me and she would IGNORE me! In person she would tell me whenever ..preferably the weekend. So, she wasn't saying A WORD to me about thinking of NOT being in it. I am very annoyed right now... She said that she would think about it one more day and give me an answer tonight... b/c she doesn't want me helping her pay for anything. I already have all the gifts made for her, costing me just about 120 all in all.

I'm I over-reating? I mean, it's not like I havn't asked her a MILLION times if she was doing ok with money... and that she could afford it. I even told her that she would just be paying for the dress and hair... everything else I will talk to the rest of the BP about... And she still said no. AUGH! I guess this is showing that shes not a good as a friend as I always though...??
branflake1229 Posted:

Re: BM Issue LONG

I know exactly who you're talking about lol and it's such a shame because you guys have been friends for so long. I'm predicting that FH is going to have a similar problem with his best friend, who was supposed to be the Best Man, but because of his behavior lately, FH doesn't even think he could trust him to commit as a GM.
It ***** that something that's supposed to be a special and happy day is showing you her true colors. Yeah, I know it's expensive to be in a wedding, but you're offering to bend over backwards to help her out however you can. I get that she doesn't want to 'take' your money, but this is one day that she should put her pride to the side.
If I were you, I'd probaby suck up the $120 that I lost (as much as it *****) and tell her to do what she wants. Because at this point, you know she isn't fully interested/committed, and it'll only upset and aggravate you as time goes on. If she truly wants to be a part of your wedding, she'd make it happen.
dani1128 Posted:

Re: BM Issue LONG

the whole situation *****... but i cant help but think.. that you are lucky its happening now.. before you put out a lot of money for her and her man.... i would say at this point.. cut your losses and move on.. that drama is not drama you want as it gets closer

you are being a very nice bride.. you should get the same respect back..

i dont think you guys should not be friends anymore... but her bowing out will strain things a little.. keep your head up chica!!
Dani777 Posted:

Re: BM Issue LONG

Brandy...you put this PERFECT! I mean, since High School we drifted TONS.. but we still talked here and there. Since I was in her wedding and had to shell out well over 500 in only 2 months just to be IN the party...I figured having OVER a year and a half that it should NOT be an issue. Guess I thought wrong. Bobby was saying lastnight that this really IS showing who is our real freinds as opposed to just people we meet up with and talk to ALL the time. It's frustrating ... none the less she coudlnt' even tell me in person. This is putting a HARD end to our friendship...I can tell you that right now. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over-exagerating.It's not like I havn't asked her PLENTY of times ... ! AUGH My friend, the MOH, was over lastnight when I was reading her emails...even SHE was flipping out! She was like, I don't like her anymore..how can she do this. And, I was only good freinds with her for 2 years. I'm not gonna be the 'sucka' anymore.... not with her... Sooo annoying!

Maybe I'll kieep the gifts for ME! HAHAHAHA
Dani777 Posted:

Re: BM Issue LONG


Posted by dani1128

the whole situation *****... but i cant help but think.. that you are lucky its happening now.. before you put out a lot of money for her and her man.... i would say at this point.. cut your losses and move on.. that drama is not drama you want as it gets closer

you are being a very nice bride.. you should get the same respect back..

i dont think you guys should not be friends anymore... but her bowing out will strain things a little.. keep your head up chica!!



Thanks... I will..and I am also going to be a bit more firm. If I can..haha. At this point, I don't even care if she says she WANTS to be in it now...she's OUT! She was holding up EVERYONE from gettng the dresses on order. Cept my sis but she's getting freaking bypass sergery! OY!
flairforfashion Posted:

Re: BM Issue LONG

Sorry this is happening. It stinks because you guys were such good friends. But I have seen this happen to so many people. I think FH and I are sh*t canning one of our GM's. I don't think you are overreacting. But it seems like she is going through a tough time. Maybe jealousy is involved. Maybe she is really broke. Whatever it may be, she should have told you up front instead of waiting a while. I think it's better off if she's out of the BP- less drama.
Dani777 Posted:

Re: BM Issue LONG

Yes, I think it's best she's out. I loove teh jewlery I got for the girls...so now I get one too! HA. I'll see if i can reuse the cystals from her tote...and all the other little things I can totally use. She's going to give me the final decision tonight, but I can def. say I KNOW she's gonna say no. It's sad, but I have too many other things to worry about. I know her EXACT financial situation.... she always talks to me abut it. She can swing 60 later on...but oh well... I'm not gonna fight about it. It's done and over with....

dazey Posted:

Re: BM Issue LONG

I would just tell her no before she even says no. i guess that might not be a good idea but do you want her saying yes and causing more problems? I'm in a similar situation with my sister of all people and I decided to tell her forget it before she backs out, I can't risk her causing problems which is always the case. If she has the nerve to tell you she's not sure, then I would not let her be in the bp, why take the chance?

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