BM Opinion

---

Posted by SummerBride10

Maybe you can casually mention to them about the cost of some of things you're researching as a hint to 'save up' or to make sure they really are serious. You can bring up the prices of different BM dresses/makeup/hair etc. You can most likely gauge a reaction that way.

---

ITA... I think you should feel them out. If it doesn't feel right to you, I would approach them separately about it. I didn't ask two of my oldest friends b/c 1) I knew they couldn't afford it financially 2) or physically, one lives upstate and one doesn't have a car and both have 2+ children. Anyway, I new they were struggling, so I didn't ask them. You can definitely bring up the research done on BP expenses, etc.

Hmmm you have time. So maybe feel out the situations individually for another month or two, and then proceed based on how they are acting then.

Maybe put out some bait you know? Suggest that you might need help with something, and see if they offer to help and if they actually follow through.

You know them and their backgrounds/situations. Is there any reason why you are assuming that they aren't asking you about the wedding because they can't afford being a BM? Sorry I am confused, it seems like everyone else is getting it except me lol. Since you have been friends with them for awhile don't you kinda know if they can afford it or not?
If you think financials are holding them back then I would definitely try to bring it up casually, especially if they have never been a BM before, they may not know what goes into it. I told my BMs via contract that there are financial responsibilities that go along with the title and to be aware of this and to save accordingly. Obviously there are better and less bridezilla ways of going about this
Good Luck!

all of my bm are around your age as well so we're all in the same situation financially. but i spoke to each of the personally after i asked them to make sure that they would be able to be part of my bp with no problems financially. you sound like you're very close to these girls so i think they'd understand if you are straightforward with them. and if that doesn't work you could bring it up as a joke about how much work and time is going to go into being part of your bp.

when all else fails make them sign a contract so they have no say in what you tell them to do.

found this somewhere. can't remember where. i hope the pic posts.

OMG.... I am so embarrassed... my contract is exactly like that (minus the gaining weight part.) No wonder I have no friends anymore LOL

---

Posted by grkbarbie

its tough. maybe give them their cards individually. and then in ims u can be like.. i know its a lot of pressure etc etc andbring up expenses.. and say that u completelyunderstand if u cant do it financally and that u wont be mad.


thats way ur still nice and diplomatic.. yet u take the pressure off of them and they dont feel forced to be in ur bp.

---

i agree!

---

Posted by MarjorieFrank

OMG.... I am so embarrassed... my contract is exactly like that (minus the gaining weight part.) No wonder I have no friends anymore LOL

---

can i put in my contract that i want them to lose weight??? LOL

---

Posted by Jna2010

im having dinner with 1 this friday so maybe ill give her her bm card and then casually mention it, ..........and if she says no ill ask her how shes paying for dinner lollllll jk

---

ahaha your to funny

i love the BM contract!! thats cute

---

Posted by jlt2010

all of my bm are around your age as well so we're all in the same situation financially. but i spoke to each of the personally after i asked them to make sure that they would be able to be part of my bp with no problems financially. you sound like you're very close to these girls so i think they'd understand if you are straightforward with them. and if that doesn't work you could bring it up as a joke about how much work and time is going to go into being part of your bp.

when all else fails make them sign a contract so they have no say in what you tell them to do.

found this somewhere. can't remember where. i hope the pic posts.

---

That contract is hysterical !!

I had this talk with one oif my BM's. Sadly she was going through a divorce with a 1 year old daughter when Matt and I got engaged. I was on eof her BM's and she too was also one of my 'given' BM's meaning I have been BFF since 4th grade.

So before I asked her I politly said, you know I love you and I don't want to add to your stress or finincial burden. At first she was a little confused, I could tell. Then I proceeded to tell her that I would LOVE for her to be a BM but if she couldn't I totally understand and that I would still want her involved and there, and help out, only without the 'strings attached' (for lack of a better term). She was dead honest with me and said she appreciated it and asked me when the wedding would be. I said about a year and a half, she said. Shauna I'm your BFF I would not miss being in your wedding for the world. HOWEVER if it was going to be in 4 months or so that might have been a different story, but she would 100% do it being there was plenty of time.

So long story short I think you should talk to them sooner rather than later. Just be honest with them and caring explain how you understand the burden it is, and if they can't that you understand. I would bet money that they would wanna be in it too....

HTH!