I have a dilema. My brother's girlfriend is so sweet, and I would love to ask her to be a BM. (she sent me a cd of first dance songs today!) The problem is, what if they break up before the wedding? They have been going out for a year and things are good between them, but you just never know. I thought about waiting to ask her until it was closer to the wedding, but we will be going to look at BM dresses in a few months, and if I wait too long, she might not be able to get a dress. What should I do?
july06bride
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Re: BM question
Do you think you would have her even if she was not dating your brother?
What i mean is, if they broke up, would you have her anyway???are you close with her?
Maybe you can ask your brother what he thinks too...
ChrissynRicky
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Re: BM question
Posted by july06bride
Do you think you would have her even if she was not dating your brother?
Maybe you can ask your brother what he thinks too...
I agree. JMO: I asked only friends or family that I'm ultra close w/and that are reliable to be in my BP, I didn't want to risk any sort of drama w/gf's of brothers.
psf80
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Re: BM question
I would talk to your brother about it, and ask him what he thinks. Ask your brother how serious things are between them, what he thinks about her as a bm, etc.
MrsStefan
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OMG I have some serious advice on this one. I asked my brother's girlfriend of 2+ years to be in the wedding party. They appeared SO happy and I talked to him about it first. THEN, he tells me last week that he might be breaking up with her. I would say DONT ask her because you never know...she can do a reading or something special on your wedding day. But it becoes too stressful (and awkward) to have to ask her to back out of the Bridal party if things dont work out
buggiegirl
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I would probably just ask her to do a reading or something like that- IMO- or speak to your brother. You never know what is going on really...
So sweet of her though!!
lishbone
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Re: BM question
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
I have a dilema. My brother's girlfriend is so sweet, and I would love to ask her to be a BM. (she sent me a cd of first dance songs today!) The problem is, what if they break up before the wedding? They have been going out for a year and things are good between them, but you just never know. I thought about waiting to ask her until it was closer to the wedding, but we will be going to look at BM dresses in a few months, and if I wait too long, she might not be able to get a dress. What should I do?
i had the same problem...im not having her in my wedding in case something happens..she is only 19 and ive known her for 5 years..long story..but my brother has been with her for like 2 1/2 yrs..she is sweet and helpful and all but im not taking the chance if their relationship goes south..i think maybe ill just have her in a family photo..or two
curliegirl
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Re: BM question
I was in a similar situation with my FI's sister. She got married almost 2 years ago, before we got engaged. I wasn't in her BP but was not insulted at all.
She asked me to help with a lot of other things, I went to the house to help organize everyone, did the flower petal basket after the ceremony, etc.
Maybe instead of asking her to be a BM, she could have some other responsibilities, I'm sure she won't be offended at all.
girlygrl33
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Re: BM question
I agree with the girls, ask her to do a reading or hand out the programs stuff like that. Do NOt have her in the BP- I say this only b/c if they do break up you dont need that added stress on you and then if you make the BP and you need to add, sometimes second choice or runner up makes people feel bad. Trust me there is PLENTY she can help with to feel a part of the wedding.
cindyandkevin
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Re: BM question
I would ask her to be a BM, it seems like she really wants to be involved and you don't want to discourage that. Esp since one day she could be your FSIL, you don't want to hurt her feelings. If they break up and she doesn't want to do it anymore you can either have 2 guys walk down one BM or just get someone else to take her place. JMO!
