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BM vent

KristyANDMatt224 Posted:

BM vent

Just curious- are your BM's involved and interested in your planning? I def talked about my wedding way too much, so I'm making a conscientious effort to not bring it up unless asked. I don't even want to invite them to bridal shows right now bc i feel like I'm shoving it in their faces.
But my FSIL (brother's fiance) and I, are in each other's bridal parties. She was upset and told my mom that only me and 1 other girl ask her about wedding plans and that people have even told her she brings it up too much. She's the sweetest girl ever and I feel so bad for her. My mom asked her to come over with her wedding planning and she sat with my mom for hours showing her clippings and flowers and all other stuff! She needed that
I am one of the first in my close group of friends to be married, so at times I feel like the girls might be a little jealous-not in a nasty way, but kinda like 'ok, when will it be my turn?' With my FSIL, i think it's a combination of that and the fact that some of the girls are married and are over the whole wedding thing, bc they are focused on starting families now. Luckily, my brother and my FH are both awesome with us and let us wedding gab whenever we want!
Irishbride16 Posted:

Re: BM vent

I mean I feel the same way but all my friends are married and have children and all they talk about is children..so i dont really say much about my wedding ..only to my one friend who is like a sister b/c she cares LOL...but i feel weird just bring up my wedding and then they will change the subject and talk about how cute there child is ...so i feel out in left field half the time....but i was the same way when all the friends were getting married and i was like what about me..but if they never needed me i was right there to help...i know it was going to happen so i didnt want to stress over it but it was a long wait.....i would ask them if they would like to be involved ...and they can anyways get ideas to ...LOL..but i would not worry so much about it ....im sure they all know you are very excited...

b2b2013 Posted:

Re: BM vent

I kinda feel like that at times. My MOH and her fiance just broke up, so talking about the wedding definitely makes me feel awkward. Even when we went dress shopping, she picked out a dress for me- I hated it but I said why not and tried it on. Come to find out it was the dress she was gonna try on for her wedding!! I just try to be a good sport about it for now and hope that it all blows over soon.

SummerBeauty Posted:

Re: BM vent

I'm the first of my friends to get married..but my FSIL is getting married in September so she is very involved and understanding.

The other girls--I just think that they are at other places in their lives & it isn't as important to them right now. When they get married they will know--and we'll all just have to be supportive then!
jassy119 Posted:

Re: BM vent

I'm not the 1st of my friends to get married but i'm the 1st to have kind of a big wedding. 2 of my friends had very small intimate weddings so there def wasn't as much planning and neither of them had bridesmaids. When I 1st got engaged all I wanted to talk about was the wedding. But i've been holding back at times cuz I don't want any1 to feel thats all I talk about. I'm having 5 girls in my bridal party.. the 1s most involved as of now are my matron and maid of honors. Matron is married and has been very supportive. Maid of honor is single and just broke up with the guy she was dating and has been depressed cuz most of us are either married, in a relationship of me engaged and shes still single. I feel so bad cuz I was there with her not too long ago and I just want her to find some one and be happy. So I haven't brought up anything wedding related to her until she starts to feel better.

This is another reason I love this site and talking to you ladies so much because we're all planning and going through the same things at the same time so its nice to have you girls 2 talk to about it
Dayna Posted:

Re: BM vent

I thought I was the only one in this situation. I'm glad to hear it's not just me. My friends have been great and are always asking about my weddings but my sisters are in a different place in there life. I would have to agree this is another reason I love this site!

KristyANDMatt224 Posted:

Re: BM vent

100% love this site and i love you girls!! i can talk about my wedding 50 times a day on here and if you get tired of hearing it, just ignore my post!

thanks for the feedback! i thought the excitement phase would wear down a few months into the engagement, but i guess not!
hildie Posted:

Re: BM vent

I dont want to get too much into details.. but UGHHH I feel the same way at times I feel I would never asked them to be in my wedding and just have a MOH she has been awesome..


But oh well too late for that now.. at times I am soo happy my DH is soo involved so patient, he's awesome.. I am really re-marrying my BF
Irishbride16 Posted:

Re: BM vent

Yea I hear you Kristy ...i love it on here b/c i have all of u girls and we are all on the same page...
SummerBeauty Posted:

Re: BM vent

It's your BIG day! Nobody gets to rain on your parade. If it's the only thing you want to talk about from now until then-you know where to find us! We're excited for you !!

AngieJusty Posted:

Re: BM vent

Sometimes I wonder if people seem disinterested bc either 1: they want to be getting married or 2: they are scared your wedding will be better than theirs

KristyANDMatt224 Posted:

Re: BM vent


Posted by AngieJusty

Sometimes I wonder if people seem disinterested bc either 1: they want to be getting married or 2: they are scared your wedding will be better than theirs. Just a couple of weeks ago FH's good friend's wife (who were married just this January) said to me that when she heard we were engaged she said uh-oh their wedding is going to be better than mine. She laughed after that, but it made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I am taking her comment the wrong way. I had no idea that weddings could be competitive. I'm not much for competition. All that is important is that FH and I enjoy our day.



Yea I agree with you. My brother got engaged a few months after me and they are getting married in April. Everyone was like 'O, they got engaged after you, but are getting married first? That sucks!' and people ask if I'm upset that we the spotlight was taken off of me... NOT AT ALL! My FSIL and I share ideas and go to expos together! Both weddings are going to be amazing, and we both have very different visions. I guess people expect us to have tension with each other bc we are planning it at same time, but it's so not like that with us! My FSIL's parents are paying for their wedding, but my FH & I are paying for ours. Whenever something is brought up about my brother's wedding being paid for my mom looks at me and says 'I'm sorry'. She feels really bad that she doesn't have the same means as them--her feeling bad is what stinks the most! But she is def equally involved in both wedding plans and helps us both as much as she can.
But at the same time, I'm not sharing all my little extras and unique ideas with friends bc there is still time for them to get engaged and steal up my ideas, so I get the competition part a little bit
AngieJusty Posted:

Re: BM vent

I'm glad that there is no tension between you and FSIL. Weddings are a happy time and have no room for tension.

I totally understand what you mean about keeping your ideas to yourself. You want your wedding to be unique.
SummerBeauty Posted:

Re: BM vent

All tension on this end--especially today. I'm having one of those.. 'I wish we just ran away and got married' kind of days.

KristyANDMatt224 Posted:

Re: BM vent


Posted by SummerBeauty

All tension on this end--especially today. I'm having one of those.. 'I wish we just ran away and got married' kind of days.



what's wrong?!
Irishbride16 Posted:

Re: BM vent

I hear all of you ..i just want to have fun and enjoy my wedding and i feel like sometimes people just dont care...but the good part about everything is since all my friends are married its helped my out so much LOL..b/c i know what to do and not and its great in that way ...but FH family says that we are going to get married in 10 years ..i was like no we have a date and we are getting married just b/c we wanted to wait is b/c we are paying for everything and sometimes i think they dont understand how much weddings are ..but i got to the point there i dont pay att. to them ( and i know they are kidding ) but it hurts in a way ...but what can i do

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