BM with pink hair - this is not a joke

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

You cannot expect her to change her hair for you. If that is how she likes it, then it is not fair for you to demand she changes it. What if she was very overweight, or something else you did not like. Would you ask her to change it then?

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As I responded earlier, I didn't really see it from that perspective.

And while I think it is far, far easier to change your hair color than your weight, I am not the type of person who would demand that anyone lose weight for me.

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two of my bridesmaids are overweight, and I don't give a hoot if they loose are not- they are getting dresses that play up there '***'ets LOL and look great on them...BUT if one of them busted out with pink hair, I would ask them to change it.....I think it's a COMPLETELY different thing....

face it, we are all going for a certain look...colors, cuts. styles, etc...we want our BP to look the best that they possibly can....I think something as easily changeable as haircolor falls under that.

THIS IS NOT A HIJACK:

Ok JanuaryBride06, I have a sort of similar situation, so let me share my story. My niece is most likely going to be my MOH. She is only five years younger than me and we grew up like sisters. She has 'full sleeves' of tattoos on her arms, beautiful work, but not something I want to see in every one of my wedding pictures, so we are in the process of figuring out what we could do for her.

She was afraid I wouldn't ask her to be in my wedding party because of her tattoos. She offered to put makeup over them because she didn't want to 'take the attention away from me at all on my day' (her words). If she would wear a sleeveless dress (or PINK HAIR) attention and eyes would naturally be drawn to her because her tattoos are eye-catching and are something you don't see every day. She is very conscious of putting my 'day' ahead of any individuality she may want to express every other day of her life.

What I'm probably going to do is have her wear a jacket of some type for the ceremony and for some picture taking, and she can take it off for the rest of the day.

Bridesmaids are hardly ever able to express their individuality. It was/is the norm for them all to have identical dresses, shoes, hairstyles, bo-ks, etc. without any care from the bride that her 'maids' may not agree with her choices. I think that comes with the territory of being a bridesmaid - you lose the ability to make choices and express yourself.

The thing is, when you dye your hair a manic panic color like pink, you must bleach your hair almost white, and then deposit the color. So, if she had to dye her hair a darker/more normal color and then strip it again to go back to pink, she's going to really damage her hair.
Maybe she can wear a hairpiece (wig) or use spray-on Halloween color? (Totally ridiculous, but a far-fetched option.)

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Posted by Hallowedding

THIS IS NOT A HIJACK:

Ok JanuaryBride06, I have a sort of similar situation, so let me share my story. My niece is most likely going to be my MOH. She is only five years younger than me and we grew up like sisters. She has 'full sleeves' of tattoos on her arms, beautiful work, but not something I want to see in every one of my wedding pictures, so we are in the process of figuring out what we could do for her.

She was afraid I wouldn't ask her to be in my wedding party because of her tattoos. She offered to put makeup over them because she didn't want to 'take the attention away from me at all on my day' (her words). If she would wear a sleeveless dress (or PINK HAIR) attention and eyes would naturally be drawn to her because her tattoos are eye-catching and are something you don't see every day. She is very conscious of putting my 'day' ahead of any individuality she may want to express every other day of her life.

What I'm probably going to do is have her wear a jacket of some type for the ceremony and for some picture taking, and she can take it off for the rest of the day.

Bridesmaids are hardly ever able to express their individuality. It was/is the norm for them all to have identical dresses, shoes, hairstyles, bo-ks, etc. without any care from the bride that her 'maids' may not agree with her choices. I think that comes with the territory of being a bridesmaid - you lose the ability to make choices and express yourself.

The thing is, when you dye your hair a manic panic color like pink, you must bleach your hair almost white, and then deposit the color. So, if she had to dye her hair a darker/more normal color and then strip it again to go back to pink, she's going to really damage her hair.
Maybe she can wear a hairpiece (wig) or use spray-on Halloween color? (Totally ridiculous, but a far-fetched option.)

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I don't want to force her to possibly cause further damage to her already damaged hair just to change the color for one day. And as someone who did theater and wore some quality wigs, they can be pricey. I had no idea how much of an effort it is to color your hair like that, so thanks for letting me know.

My BM is almost 30 and that she doesn't seem to care so much about her brother's wedding day - but THANK YOU for sharing your story. I truly appreciate it. It really is helpful to hear it.

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Posted by Blu-ize

Would I be upset? Yes
Can you do anything about it? No

Sending hugs

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You couldn't have said it better, but I do agree about the earlier post of wearing an updo, you probably won't notice it as much

just to add a visual

pic 1- something that can definitely be worked with

pic 2- get thee to the hair salon- NO WAY!

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Posted by ChristineAE

Have you come to a decision??? What are you going to do?

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Well, I have to say that I'm not quite so freaked out about it anymore.

I would prefer her to have her natural color, but knowing how she is, it would be the start of a large feud (and over hair - it's not worth it).
However, I found out that am going to see her again at Thanksgiving. I'll see what she looks like then. I'll decide over the next couple of weeks if it's worth even bringing up.

Until then, I will seriously consider doing more black and white pictures.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HONESTY

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Posted by JennJay

And as far as damaging her hair..... She has pink hair.... with all that peroxide, she is obviously not worried about damaging it. Have you asked her about it?

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I think I'll be able to start an email conversation about it soon without bringing up the wedding and just asking her about herself. I can work it in. I rarely see her and I barely know her, so we haven't talked much at all.
thanks for the suggestion.

JMO-

if everyone is saying that the pink hair is not a reflection of who the person is then why does it matter what color her hair is? She is someone important to one of the people getting married and what matters is that she is there and standing up for the two of you.

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Posted by tracy2246

JMO-

if everyone is saying that the pink hair is not a reflection of who the person is then why does it matter what color her hair is? She is someone important to one of the people getting married and what matters is that she is there and standing up for the two of you.

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That's kind of the point of this thread - I wanted to see what other women, who are also getting married, would do in this situation. I'm seeing that most women are very open minded about it and so I will be as well; there are more important things to think about

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

I'm seeing that most women are very open minded about it and so I will be as well; there are more important things to think about

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kudos. you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary stress if you make 'choose your battles' your new mantra.

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

I'm seeing that most women are very open minded about it and so I will be as well; there are more important things to think about

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kudos. you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary stress if you make 'choose your battles' your new mantra.

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I agree with that...but I am also the type of bride who really only cares that the girls are in the same color-and that they all want to be involved.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

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Posted by ChristineAE

Have you come to a decision??? What are you going to do?

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Well, I have to say that I'm not quite so freaked out about it anymore.

I would prefer her to have her natural color, but knowing how she is, it would be the start of a large feud (and over hair - it's not worth it).
However, I found out that am going to see her again at Thanksgiving. I'll see what she looks like then. I'll decide over the next couple of weeks if it's worth even bringing up.

Until then, I will seriously consider doing more black and white pictures.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HONESTY

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that's cool. do whatever is right for you. you never know how this could work out.

I am t hinking, if it bothers you that much, then talk to her about it.
But really what are you going to do? Say change your hair color or else you are not in the bridal party?
Maybe she would be willing to wear a nice wig, if she doesn't want to dye it.