So they knew what becoming a BM entailed, and now you complain? My MOH is basicly footing the bill for whatever my BM's can't contribute. I'm pissed Sheesh, I'm sure when my girls get married, they wouldn't want this happening to them. Vent over....Thanks
mskittynj
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
Same thing happend to me hunny. My MOH pretty much had to do it all by herself....Till this day my FSIL hasn't given 'her share' to her!!!! Pretty messed up!!!! XOXOXO Kitty
Summer07Bride
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
My MOH is going through the same thing right now. She keeps telling me she gives the girls ideas and one of them shoots basically every single one down because of money. While I do understand that money is a huge factor, you knew money would be spent if you were in a bridal party. (Note: She is also anti - big weddings and makes it known every time I bring up planning)
laural2979
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
I'm sorry, but I have to play devil's advocate for a minute. My poor MOH has been asked to contribute $300 for a shower for another wedding that she's in this summer. IMO I think that's absolutely ridiculous and I would expect her to ***** about it. I guess I'm just saying that you should take a look at the overall financial picture of all of your BMs and see if maybe what is being asked of them is more than they can handle.
TeddyFrogsDivaBride
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
I agree with both sides of the argument, but I also believe that something great can always be done on a budget, if necessary, with some invention and creativity..knowing that you girls have that,I bet your friends do, too..we are already having shower issues as well..makes me want to say skip it, but FH says that's me being dramatic...haha...good luck
PurpleGrl156
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
I hate that sh!t and I feel for ya. I can't understand why some BM's are surprised that they need to contribute something when the time comes. I went through the same thing when I was my best friends MOH. I'm sorry that you had to hear about it and have to deal with it.
onelove1
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
My BM did the same thing. . she complained to my MOH about contribuiting for a gift for me. She winded doing it, but it was the point.
I was a little annoyed when I heard this because this BM ALWAYS has shoes, haircuts, and bags. She has the money, she just wants to spend it on herself
werock0709
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
Posted by laural2979
I'm sorry, but I have to play devil's advocate for a minute. My poor MOH has been asked to contribute $300 for a shower for another wedding that she's in this summer. IMO I think that's absolutely ridiculous and I would expect her to ***** about it. I guess I'm just saying that you should take a look at the overall financial picture of all of your BMs and see if maybe what is being asked of them is more than they can handle.
In that case, you shouldn't bite off more than you can chew. And in NO way was my MOH asking for 300 bucks per girl. Actually it came down to whatever they can contribute.
laural2979
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
Posted by werock0709
Posted by laural2979
I'm sorry, but I have to play devil's advocate for a minute. My poor MOH has been asked to contribute $300 for a shower for another wedding that she's in this summer. IMO I think that's absolutely ridiculous and I would expect her to ***** about it. I guess I'm just saying that you should take a look at the overall financial picture of all of your BMs and see if maybe what is being asked of them is more than they can handle.
In that case, you shouldn't bite off more than you can chew. And in NO way was my MOH asking for 300 bucks per girl. Actually it came down to whatever they can contribute.
Sorry, I wasn't implying that you had asked that of them. I was just saying that we should all try to think of the complete picture when it comes to asking our BMs to spend more money. This wedding that my MOH is in has just gone completely over the top. The BM dress was $270 before alterations and now she's been asked to contibute $300 to the shower. I just think that's ridiculous.
I can definitely understand your frustration with your BMs because you feel like she doesn't really care. That would piss me off too.
thelastresort
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
Oh please. Don't even go there. One of my BM's got married recently and I shelled out $500 for the shower (not incl. the gift....her MOH picked a ridiculously expensive venue for her shower...there were 6 of us kicking in $500 each), paid for 2 bach. parties b/c she wanted to do the vineyards and the city, not to mention all the other expenses involved and now that it's her turn, she has the audacity to make comments to me about the amount of $ involved with being in my wedding! It doesn't even come CLOSE to what I spent on hers and I never once complained to her about with the exception of me saying stuff on a drunken rant but that doesn't count! LOL
Like you said, there are expected expenses with being in a BP so don't agree to be in it if you can't or don't want to spend the money! So annoying!
MsDiva
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
IMHO I totally feel for BM and MOH, sure they love us and want to participate in our wedding, but the financial strain can be a bit much. They are required to put out a lot of money and don't really get much in return. Sure, we give them a gift, but does the gift really measure up to the amount of $ that they are required to shell out.
I have insisted to my girls that I don't need a bridal shower and as for my bacholorett party we are going out for dinner and partying. I am renting a limo for the night, but I am paying for that because that's what I want. Their dresses alone will run them $250 and several of them live OOT so I don't really want them to spend a lot of money on me.
BubbasBride
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
I have such a pet peeve about this. Don't agree to be in a bridal party if you can't foot the bill. Period
irishsweetheart
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
I am my sister's MOH and she is mine. She is getting married first and on top of paying for my own wedding I am also footing the entire bill for her shower on my own. It's not because I have the extra funds either believe me, I'm working every last ounce of overtime to be able to do it but I don't feel right asking the other girls to contribute monetarily.
I also should say that when the time comes and my sister begins to plan my shower I would be pretty upset if she turned around and asked my girls to help pay for the shower.
This probably stems from the fact that I was never asked to help pay for the shower when I was in bridesmaid so I don't feel right asking other people to do it
JMO!
LuckySevens
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
You have FM
bride2b24
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
so typical! my theory is if you cant afford it just say no from the get go, but people would rather *****! it could be worse, try having your fsil ***** about it to you, as well as dress, tuxedo, hotel accomodations and gift! like dont do us any favors!!!
werock0709
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
THANK GOD my FSIL is wonderful. All of my BM's are, I guess maybe my MOH asked too much. I have NO idea.
tricia3381
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
Posted by werock0709
So they knew what becoming a BM entailed, and now you complain? My MOH is basicly footing the bill for whatever my BM's can't contribute. I'm pissed Sheesh, I'm sure when my girls get married, they wouldn't want this happening to them. Vent over....Thanks
wow!! that is ridiculous. when they said yes to being in ur BP who did they think would be footing the shower bill?
Mooshyboo
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
same thing happened here... (then the two BM quit) and said just coming to my wedding will be a 'financial drain'...
Mooshyboo
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
Posted by thelastresort
Oh please. Don't even go there. One of my BM's got married recently and I shelled out $500 for the shower (not incl. the gift....her MOH picked a ridiculously expensive venue for her shower...there were 6 of us kicking in $500 each), paid for 2 bach. parties b/c she wanted to do the vineyards and the city, not to mention all the other expenses involved and now that it's her turn, she has the audacity to make comments to me about the amount of $ involved with being in my wedding! It doesn't even come CLOSE to what I spent on hers and I never once complained to her about with the exception of me saying stuff on a drunken rant but that doesn't count! LOL
Like you said, there are expected expenses with being in a BP so don't agree to be in it if you can't or don't want to spend the money! So annoying!
Want to be my BM... Wow
vintagegirl
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Re: BM's b!tching about money for my shower...
Yup I witnessed drama like that to.. one of them who asked to be in the party is bitching.. I feel like saying why the hell did you even ask to be in it? there has been drama like that all over..
