BM's b!tching about money for my shower...

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Posted by MrsMichel07

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Posted by enjft



Glad I have a wonderful BP.

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You are lucky.... but I know what I will do after the wedding.......Bu-BYE bridal party.... see ya when I see ya and speak to ya when I speak to ya.

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Posted by enjft

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Posted by MrsMichel07

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Posted by enjft



Glad I have a wonderful BP.

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You are lucky.... but I know what I will do after the wedding.......Bu-BYE bridal party.... see ya when I see ya and speak to ya when I speak to ya.

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you laugh I am DEAD serious!!

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Posted by MrsMichel07

IMO.... People who agree to be in a Bridal party should know that there are going to be expenses.

From the time that you are asked you have the opportunity to say yes or no.

If you say yes, you should be prepared to spend money within reason.

Some people expect the bridal party to pay ridiculous prices for showers, dresses , shoes etc......

To avoid any BP riffs about expenses, it should be discussed up front, giving people who have other responsibilities time to prepare.

IMO pick a MOH who is going to be able to handle all of this.. and communicate this to the girls.

I as a bride do not like to hear complaints from the bridal party- it is unfair to any bride to have to deal with unessaccary stress.

As you can tell this somewhat a rant and my BP is....

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This was well put!

I myself have never been in a wedding besides my own and only one of my BM's have. So with that said, they might just not know what is all entailed. My BM's really didn't have any money to spare, 2 were in collage and one was a single mom. I myself couldn't have imagined them not being in it.

Let me say this.... I was a BM for a friend back 3 years ago...her sister was the MOH....Her mother, had the AUDACITY to ask myself and the two other BMS who are NOT related, to each shell out $600 for the shower.. a piece!!!! mind you, the MOH had 0 money (she was still in high school), and the three of us were all in GRAD school working our butts off to pay our bills!!! My only complaint about that, was that we basically covered the MOH's azz cuz she was broke!!! Now THAT is BS. We knew it would be an expense, however, the mother just demanded what we pay...she never asked.

BTW- There divorce is pending as we speak.

Dont stress...Take a deep breath and relax, Dont let them get you down, Why do these BM make our life so much more difficult, I think they are all either jealous or just insecure.. and there is no room for any of that, Its your day, not theres or your sisters or your brothers or his fiancess its yours...for you to enjoy to the fullest...they should not be mentioning anything to you about finances unless you are expecting something out of the ordinary... Dont worry if you here something negative from someone Just tune it out....Smile and enjoy..........

Wow...I am so lucky my mom is taking care of the whole bill and and not asking anyone to contribute. Just asking that they come early and help set up.
They got pretty lucky huh?

Isn't the bridal shower supposed to be a surprise to us 'brides'. The BM's should not be complaining to you about the $ for the shower. They should be communicating with each other to find out an equal amount that each BM can contribute to the shower. It's suppose to be a surprise for us.

~dancer~

..I am the FIRST to get married out of my family and friends!!! I was MOH for one of my good friends, but it was a shot gun wedding and there wasnt much expenses except for a dress do to her pregnancy.



So in that case I think there should be rules and limitations on things, and there should always be reciepts shown to each brides maid.
Shelling out more then 500$ per person is insane for a bridal party and I would be heated if I found out thats how much mine were spending on me. I think a reasonable amount of 250 or less each is nice. the dress should be 200$ or less and if things are getting too expensive..that bach party should be held at a local resturaunt or club.

I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Completely not neccessary!

This is why, I too, decided against a bridal party. I am having only my MOH and it is honestly the best decision I could have made for myself. Of course I have a few close friends I am sad couldn't play a 'special' part in my day but all in all I knew if I asked 2 of them I would need to ask them all. 2 days (literallly) after I got engaged a few of my girlfriends started telling me what dress style and color they would and would not wear. Bear in mind, at this point, I hadn't even ASKED these girls to be in my bridal party. At that point I knew I just wouldn't be able to deal with the BS through out my planning. I knew my best friend would be my MOH so that wasn't a tough decision. I am super lucky though, my mom is paying for my shower. So that eliminates the problem of money all around. But I am sure if I did have a BP there would have been problems else where sans the issue of whom would be paying for the shower.

Anyway, I am sorry to hear that you are having such issues. And you are absolutely right...they shouldn't have ever brought their drama to the bride. You have enough to worry about! But I am sure everything will work out beautifully for you!!

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Posted by MrsMichel07

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Posted by enjft

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Posted by MrsMichel07

IMO.... People who agree to be in a Bridal party should know that there are going to be expenses.

From the time that you are asked you have the opportunity to say yes or no.

If you say yes, you should be prepared to spend money within reason.

Some people expect the bridal party to pay ridiculous prices for showers, dresses , shoes etc......

To avoid any BP riffs about expenses, it should be discussed up front, giving people who have other responsibilities time to prepare.

IMO pick a MOH who is going to be able to handle all of this.. and communicate this to the girls.

I as a bride do not like to hear complaints from the bridal party- it is unfair to any bride to have to deal with unessaccary stress.

As you can tell this somewhat a rant and my BP is....

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I could not have said this better myself. Every point you have made is 100% on the money. Don't worry Cee, you have an honorary you absolutely adore.

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And I trully appreciate it.... this is why I am NOT buying BP gifts... I HAD such nice things planned for them and I WILL not waste my money- I will just upgrade on someone who will appreciate it... ME!!!!!!!!!!!

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You go girl!!!!

This is exactly why I stuck to my guns about the BP. My mom wanted be to ask FH's step-sister and my cousins but i said no. I chose my 2 best friends and my god sister and my best friend's daughter. The two teenagers are being financed by their parents and I know that evryone is there for me. They are so great.

I have been a BM twice and spent ridiculous sums of money on ugly dresses and crazy boring parties. My mom and god mother are planning my shower and i know there will b eno drama.

I am sorry that you are going through this. They should keep it to themselves. You have more important things to deal with right now - not their petty drama!!! Try your best to ignore the complaints and focus on your big day. Some people just like to complain

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Posted by Pokey4

My BM did the same thing. . she complained to my MOH about contribuiting for a gift for me. She winded doing it, but it was the point.

I was a little annoyed when I heard this because this BM ALWAYS has shoes, haircuts, and bags. She has the money, she just wants to spend it on herself

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haha sounds like my FSIL!! she's a bit immature w/ this stuff, even though she's 21!
She helped put the favors together (in a bag) and that was about it. She sat in the chair the whole time. Didn't help with gifts, wrapping paper..etc AND she didn't give me a gift either! But she had a nice new hair color, burberry scarf, white coat, and a nice bag..
ok vent over!

I just dont get it...why do they say yes if they are just going to complain and complain

I will probably get yelled at....i'm not engaged YET but i've been obsessed with this site since my boyfriend and I have started looking at rings. I'm very sorry for intruding....i have to say something about this topic though. Sorry it's really long.

short moral of the story: sometimes brides are just very inconsiderate and selfish.

1. I was asked to be a MOH at my EX-best friend's wedding and i initially said no b/c i would not be able to afford it and would not be there for her b/c i had studying at that time. The girl kept on insisting so i eventually caved in....i was still in my last year of law school and my loans were and still are OUTRAGEOUS....also, her wedding was around the time of the bar exam and I knew what my priorities were. I told her that everything would have to be done before a certain date but she apparently thought i was kidding. When the time came, I ended up getting fired (yes, fired as a MOH) b/c i wasn't there for her....her FH started making up lies to my b/f and now our friendship is OVER and i thank the lord.

2. the money this girl expected us to dish out was outrageous. although she wanted to milk her FH and have him fork over most of the money, she wanted the girls to pay for her shower at Tavern on the Green in Central Park, insisted that her champagne glasses had swarovsky crystals, buy expensive BM dresses, expected us to at least cover our plates for her wedding gift (wedding was at Cipriani's at $500 per plate) and the list went on.

3. I dont' know if it's Greek tradition, but it is the mother's duty to pay for the shower. This was the first time I ever heard of the BP paying for the shower. Sometimes BM's don't realize what exactly the expenses are. Maybe brides should set a budget and explain the expenses when they initially ask them to be a BM.

On a happy note, I'm in my other best friend's BP and am super excited to do things for her b/c she is grateful for everything that everyone does.