BM's b!tching about money for my shower...

I agree 110%! If you say 'yes' to be in a bridal party then you know you are going to be contributing money!

All the weddings I was in and all the money I paid and I NEVER ONCE complained! The last wedding I was in cost about $1000. Like I said I am not complaining, but now that its my turn I would expect that they all would want to contribute, because it was done for them as well.

I have even offered to give them $1000 just to lessen the burden on them.....

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Posted by thelastresort

Oh please. Don't even go there. One of my BM's got married recently and I shelled out $500 for the shower (not incl. the gift....her MOH picked a ridiculously expensive venue for her shower...there were 6 of us kicking in $500 each), paid for 2 bach. parties b/c she wanted to do the vineyards and the city, not to mention all the other expenses involved and now that it's her turn, she has the audacity to make comments to me about the amount of $ involved with being in my wedding! It doesn't even come CLOSE to what I spent on hers and I never once complained to her about with the exception of me saying stuff on a drunken rant but that doesn't count! LOL

Like you said, there are expected expenses with being in a BP so don't agree to be in it if you can't or don't want to spend the money! So annoying!

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Agreed I've been in so many BPs and I pay whatever is required of me to pay I believe if you are in BP there are expenses that come along with it, not just about your hair, nails, makeup and dress there are other responsibilities that come along with saying YES to being someone's BM.

Agreed I've been in so many BPs and I pay whatever is required of me to pay I believe if you are in BP there are expenses that come along with it, not just about your hair, nails, makeup and dress there are other responsibilities that come along with saying YES to being someone's BM.

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Absolutely! and I think that if there is any drama about this stuff, which seems to be happening regardless, it should be kept from the bride who does not need to worry about even more things. The BP is supposed to be support for the bride and groom, not add more stress!
~Mel, don't this stuff bring you down! The people that love you, like your MOH, will MAKE SURE that you have an awesome bridal shower and wedding~ at any cost!

My mom tried to get my BMs to help and she got no where. They haven't really been supportive except for one.

my mom and sister (MOH) I know are paying for the whole thing.

My Mom told them that the Baccerlorte party was on them , but we will see if they will plan anything.

I am actually really hurt by them, I have jad some complaints about dress prices (there dress is 145.00) and other things it it really hurts!

I sould do it for them. One even told me...I don't have the money now after I dragged her to a bridal shop. You tell me know and when you had over 6 months to save!

I just feel hurt!

So I know how you feel.

Absolutely! and I think that if there is any drama about this stuff, which seems to be happening regardless, it should be kept from the bride who does not need to worry about even more things. The BP is supposed to be support for the bride and groom, not add more stress!
~Mel, don't this stuff bring you down! The people that love you, like your MOH, will MAKE SURE that you have an awesome bridal shower and wedding~ at any cost!

Thanks Cheryl, I know she will

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Posted by werock0709

Absolutely! and I think that if there is any drama about this stuff, which seems to be happening regardless, it should be kept from the bride who does not need to worry about even more things. The BP is supposed to be support for the bride and groom, not add more stress!
~Mel, don't this stuff bring you down! The people that love you, like your MOH, will MAKE SURE that you have an awesome bridal shower and wedding~ at any cost!

Thanks Cheryl, I know she will

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People are just immarture when they bring it to the bride

i totally know how you feel....one of my BM was bithcing to me about how much my wedding is costing her and how she even complained about the dress, the shoes, the shower, the shower gifts, the bachelorette party and this is what pissed me off the most

THE WEDDING GIFT.

i mean seriously......i was so upset when she complained to me (the bride) about my own wedding...

at least she could have done it behind my back

i hear you!!!

I have been in weddings before when the bride has gone overboard and as a BM I had to put out a ton of money. Did it annoy me? Yeah. But I NEVER once clued the bride into it.

Accepting to be a BM comes with a lot of costs and expenses - but when you accept you should anticipate them and prepare for it. Sometimes we'll get annoyed but the honorable thing is not to vent that to the bride......she's under enough stress as it is!!!

I also have a BM who is guilty of nonstop bitching about wedding related costs. I am so hurt by it that I'm ready to tell her if its too much for her she can just bow out. Somehow she's under the impression that she's the only one spending money here- forgetting that FH & I are paying for the wedding ourselves! She's become so self centered that its like she can't just be happy & share in my happiness.
While I understand it costs money to be in a BP, I don't think its fair to guilt the bride about it. We have enough to worry about... yeesh!

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Posted by werock0709

Absolutely! and I think that if there is any drama about this stuff, which seems to be happening regardless, it should be kept from the bride who does not need to worry about even more things. The BP is supposed to be support for the bride and groom, not add more stress!
~Mel, don't this stuff bring you down! The people that love you, like your MOH, will MAKE SURE that you have an awesome bridal shower and wedding~ at any cost!

Thanks Cheryl, I know she will

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Its sad these situations but sometimes its good that its brought to the attention of the bride it really puts into perspective who your true friends are...IMO

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Posted by EastEndBride

I also have a BM who is guilty of nonstop bitching about wedding related costs. I am so hurt by it that I'm ready to tell her if its too much for her she can just bow out. Somehow she's under the impression that she's the only one spending money here- forgetting that FH & I are paying for the wedding ourselves! She's become so self centered that its like she can't just be happy & share in my happiness.
While I understand it costs money to be in a BP, I don't think its fair to guilt the bride about it. We have enough to worry about... yeesh!

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it happenend in my own wedding party.. i won't go into details because its so stupid.. but one left and she is not talking to my MOH and no one else in the party.. my moh will tell me everything after the wedding..so freakin stupid

IMO.... People who agree to be in a Bridal party should know that there are going to be expenses.

From the time that you are asked you have the opportunity to say yes or no.

If you say yes, you should be prepared to spend money within reason.

Some people expect the bridal party to pay ridiculous prices for showers, dresses , shoes etc......

To avoid any BP riffs about expenses, it should be discussed up front, giving people who have other responsibilities time to prepare.

IMO pick a MOH who is going to be able to handle all of this.. and communicate this to the girls.

I as a bride do not like to hear complaints from the bridal party- it is unfair to any bride to have to deal with unessaccary stress.

As you can tell this somewhat a rant and my BP is....

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Posted by Mrs_C_in_'07



Accepting to be a BM comes with a lot of costs and expenses - but when you accept you should anticipate them and prepare for it. Sometimes we'll get annoyed but the honorable thing is not to vent that to the bride......she's under enough stress as it is!!!

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I sooooooo agree with you!!!!

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Posted by lisalisa27

Oh no honey sorry about this. They need to know that this is something for you and they are not doing this often. A small compromise for one day of joy. what is the big deal????

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Yup....

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Posted by MrsMichel07

IMO.... People who agree to be in a Bridal party should know that there are going to be expenses.

From the time that you are asked you have the opportunity to say yes or no.

If you say yes, you should be prepared to spend money within reason.

Some people expect the bridal party to pay ridiculous prices for showers, dresses , shoes etc......

To avoid any BP riffs about expenses, it should be discussed up front, giving people who have other responsibilities time to prepare.

IMO pick a MOH who is going to be able to handle all of this.. and communicate this to the girls.

I as a bride do not like to hear complaints from the bridal party- it is unfair to any bride to have to deal with unessaccary stress.

As you can tell this somewhat a rant and my BP is....

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I could not have said this better myself. Every point you have made is 100% on the money. Don't worry Cee, you have an honorary you absolutely adore.

Trust me if I could do it all again... I would not have a BP at all and I seriously wish I could turn back the hands of time when I added more people in.

MY BP is like non-existent.....sometimes I wonder if I have one.

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Posted by Mrs_C_in_'07

I have been in weddings before when the bride has gone overboard and as a BM I had to put out a ton of money. Did it annoy me? Yeah. But I NEVER once clued the bride into it.

Accepting to be a BM comes with a lot of costs and expenses - but when you accept you should anticipate them and prepare for it. Sometimes we'll get annoyed but the honorable thing is not to vent that to the bride......she's under enough stress as it is!!!

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When it gets to the bride it is obvious that the person that is telling the bride wants the drama and wants to complain. A REAL person will handle it and do what they need to do to ensure that the person enjoys a flawless day they deserve.

Glad I have a wonderful BP.

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Posted by enjft

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Posted by MrsMichel07

IMO.... People who agree to be in a Bridal party should know that there are going to be expenses.

From the time that you are asked you have the opportunity to say yes or no.

If you say yes, you should be prepared to spend money within reason.

Some people expect the bridal party to pay ridiculous prices for showers, dresses , shoes etc......

To avoid any BP riffs about expenses, it should be discussed up front, giving people who have other responsibilities time to prepare.

IMO pick a MOH who is going to be able to handle all of this.. and communicate this to the girls.

I as a bride do not like to hear complaints from the bridal party- it is unfair to any bride to have to deal with unessaccary stress.

As you can tell this somewhat a rant and my BP is....

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I could not have said this better myself. Every point you have made is 100% on the money. Don't worry Cee, you have an honorary you absolutely adore.

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And I trully appreciate it.... this is why I am NOT buying BP gifts... I HAD such nice things planned for them and I WILL not waste my money- I will just upgrade on someone who will appreciate it... ME!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by enjft



Glad I have a wonderful BP.

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You are lucky.... but I know what I will do after the wedding.......Bu-BYE bridal party.... see ya when I see ya and speak to ya when I speak to ya.