bored- so some funnies.
AWESOME INVITE!!!
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Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
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Today, my 13 year old daughter came up to me and called me Grandma. Offended, I told her I wasn't that old. She responded with, 'Well, you're going to be one, so I thought you should get used to it.' FML
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(810):
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
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(718):
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
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(360):
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
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(508):
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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