Breastfeeding in Public

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Just wanted to open up a discussion on this and see what everyone's opinion is on this..(if you have an opinion !)

Seeing how my DH always says its something that should be done in private, and not in a room full of people, I thought he had a point. His claim is that its not how comfortable or UNcomfortable the mother feels, its how UNcomfortable she makes people in the room feel. I think thats a valid point also, but there ARE 2 sides to it...

I have to say I changed my opinion (on agreeing with DH) on this the first time I had to sit in a room by myself to nurse.. I'm a PEOPLE person and being placed in a room by myself (well with my baby of course!) does me no good - felt like a 'time out!' and if you plan on nursing for a year (or more!), its no fun being left alone !

I never really had a negative opinion about it. I always thought it was a beautiful thing, a mother is feeding her child, nothing wrong with it, the child has to eat and she has to go on with her normal activities (Eating out, visiting friends, etc)...

My sister is very comfortable with BFing, she is BFing 2 of her kids. She can easily and DISCREETLY lift her shirt, and nurse while she is having a conversation with 10 people. No skin is exposed whatsoever, and she is relaxed, holding the baby in her arms. You would never know she was nursing, unless you know who she is and know that that's all she does all day! (LOLjoke )

That one day that I 'went in the other room', I was adjusting to it all (and still am) so I didnt mind being in private..then half hour turned into 90minutes, and I had a house full of company.. Then I overheard someone say 'we can start eating without her, she wont mind' and I shouted 'YES I DO MIND ! HEY WAIT FOR ME !'

It really didnt feel fair for me to have to be off in another room. Im not being selfish or holding any resentment towards BFing or the baby, but I just think its something that should be more accepted in public situations, being that its done discreetly and off in a corner, not on center stage of course...

Later that nite, my sister put a blanket over my arm, and helped me get adjusted to nursing in the same room we were all in (it was just immediate family that time)...and I chatted and fed my baby and enjoyed the evening...

YEs, the bonding of breastfeeding is wonderful, and I am alone with the baby 95% of the time, so i'm sure those few times of being in social setting wont affect that bond...

What is everyone's opinion on this topic ??

I respect any womans right to feed her child in public. When it comes down to it thats what breastfeeding is all about. But I have to say I know my father would be mortified if I went to feed Geno in front of him (if I was BF) My mom was one of those woman who would 'whip it out' in the middle of the grocery store. She was very comfortabe with it. Always freaked my dad out. But I think there will always be people who are just not comfortable with it. Such is life!!

Edit: However, once you have adjusted to BF I dont think you should have to go into another room in your own home to make others feel more comfortable to feed the baby. I mean your feeding the baby, not trying to concieve one. So people will have to get over it!!
And I doubt being in a social setting while feeding will affect your bonding with baby. My aunt has 4 kids the fifth is due in 3days. She BF everyone of them and some of the time the whole family was right there socializing. She is very bonded with her kids. It will take a lot more than something like that to break the bonds between mother and child.

Although I think there is nothing for a woman to hide when it comes to breastfeeding I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman maybe having a little more class then to whip out her breast in a public mall.
My 6 year old son and I were walking through the mall a few weeks ago and there was a woman sitting right in front of Macy's with her breast exposed.
My son started laughing and said 'oh my goodness mommy, look, it's a boob'
I really wasnt happy that he had to see that.
Yes, he knows all about that some milk can come from a mommy's boob, but him having to see it wouldnt of been my choice..
I feel if a woman needs to feed her child she should have come common curtesy and go into a restroom or at the very least stand or sit off to a side.
I only feel this way for the children. It's not really something that every parent wants there young child to see ( a bare breast)
JMO of course
;-)

This is a difficult question. I think that people tend to respond according to the social norms that they were brought up with.

I have no problem with a woman BFing in public. I would have been a BFing mom in public, had the whole thing worked out for me. You better believe that I would not have run home or hid myself and my child away in a corner every single time Paul needed to eat. That is not a REALISTIC thing to ask a nursing Mom to do!

There is a descrete way and a non-descrete way to nurse in public. There are special blouses that are made to conceal a nursing Mom's breast, even while her child is feeding. Or, a Mom can use a burp cloth/cloth diaper draped over her shoulder to conceal her breast from 'spectators' as it may be.

However, I do believe that this gets easier for a woman to do after she has grown comfortable with nursing in general. During the first 2 weeks of Paul's life, I remember that I was not willing to attempt feeding him while sitting in the room with my in-laws. It's just not something that I was comfortable with, and I didn't have the technique mastered enough to have been graceful and descrete. Give a woman a break!

I think that some adults do have a difficult (sometimes impossible) time separating the sexual side of woman's breasts from the nurturing side. In my opinion, that's why men want to run into other rooms when a woman is BFing, or woman looks the other way. Socially in the US, we are taught that these are private, and should be kept hidden away in public. Think about it - how many woman go topless on the beach in US?? And when they do, everyone is in a tizzy over it! In Europe, if you wear a top on the beach, you're the one who gaulked at!

With regard to a small child seeing a bare breast, I respect the fact that the other Mom would not have chosen for her child to see that. I am not debating that. It is her choice as a parent.

However, as a devil's advocate perspective: it is my opinion that a child will react to something based on how they are taught to react to it. If a child thinks that a nursing Mom's bare breast is something they are forbidden to see, than they will giggle, get embarrassed and make a fuss.

But, if a child is taught that it is a natural, healthy way for a Mommy to feed her baby, they might react differently. What if I have another child, and BFing does work out for me the second time?? Will I hide from my older child just to feed his sibling? No way!

My brothers and I grew up around my aunt BFing my two cousins and we never thought twice about it. She was descrete, but there were times her breast was exposed (like in the summer when people wear less clothes to begin with - it's difficult to conceal).

Now, I am not saying that you should expose your child to porn, and tell them it's okay. But if you explain why they saw the woman's breast, then I think it's a different story.

Just my opinion.

There are various ways of BFing while in public- at least my books have shown me this...and a few times I have seen it in practice.
I feel that as long as you have no skin showing, that it is more acceptable- to the public. I will not exile myself to the bedrm while I have company over ...altho I will cover up infront of robs friends and his parents. ALso, once I get the hang of it I am sure that my confidence will only add to it.

Here's to hoping that it works out for me!
Anna, keep us mommies-to-b posted on your progress!


And thank you VERY much for the updates!

Claud, I totally agree with your point on how nudity is viewed SO DIFFERENTLY in Europe VS the US. In Europe tv commercials show nudity and the beaches are practically all topless and never is someone snickering or gawking like they would here.. So it really is something that strongly depends on how you were raised to react to it....

Phyl, I'm glad you agree also, on a BFing mom not having to go hide in another room... Last nite was the first time i attempted to nurse with friends and friends of the family over (not immediate family) mostly the females were sitting in one room, so with a blankie, and wearing a huge t-shirt, i felt pretty comfy, even when the guys happened to be nearby...
As far as my progress, the pain is still here.

Thankfully I DONT have the infection that I thought I had (thrush), although it was kinda fustrating to hear that 2 doctors both DID NOT think I had it, (I know that sounds crazy) i guess i just wanted to hear a problem/solution so i can get moving with this ! Looks like I may have another issue, which primarily is the latch, how the baby is positioned, ****ing, etc.

I plan to see a Lactation consultant, even the Dr recommended I see one.
**Good info....
I've just been told that an LC and a IBCLC are not the same thing. This is the response I received where I posted the question 'whats the difference between them?'

....No an LC is not the same as an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). Actually *anyone* can hang out a plaque and call themselves a Lactation Consultant. Some have a lot of great knowledge and training and others may have very little. By seeking out an IBCLC you are assured that she has undergone a certain level of educational and breastfeeding counseling requirements as well as has sat for and passed a very extensive board exam give by the International Board of Lactation Consultant Examiners....