I am pretty sure i will not be having a Bridal Shower... My mother read somewhere that the MOH and BM are supposed to throw the bride her shower, and refuses to throw one. My FFIL has forbidden my MOH ( FSIL) to call my mother to try and work something out for the shower and he has forbidden her from planning one. knowing my mom has been refusing to throw one.
this is making me really upset.. i always pictured myself having a shower ( FH and I registered A LONG time ago) and i really love the stuff we have on it... I didnt even really want the shower for the gifts, i just always loved the thought of all the ladies getting together for a nice afternoon of good food, good company, and fun games...
I think what is upsetting me the most is that FH knows this, didnt tell me and wont say anything to his dad about it... (FH knows how much i would love to have a shower)
I just really cant believe my FFIL would do such a thing... my FSIL is afraid if she goes behind his back and does it , she is going to get kicked out of her house.. I MEAN REALLY?!?!?! You are going to kick your daughter out of the house for throwing me a shower?!?!?! its just absurd!!! Its not like he is paying a penny towards it.. and i wouldnt ask him too.. all my girls were more than willing to throw it for me, but now that my MOH cant do it none of them will...
Sorry for the long vent im just really REALLY upset about this!!!
mrsg2be11
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
This makes me sad for you! I'm confused though, why is FFIL against the shower?
FutureMrsPanuch
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
honestly i dont know... i guess he is thinking of when he got married 30 years ago that ONLY the MOB throws the shower...
Oh and the girls are paying for my bach party... I guess he thinks thats all they do.
IrishAli
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
And what is it to your FFIL is your FSIL (and MOH) wants to throw you a shower? It has nothing to do with him?
mrsg2be11
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
I'm sorry its really none of his business though! I hope they can come to some kind of understanding and that you have your shower
Jsquared
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is it possible they are just trying to throw you off?
Why would your mom not budge if she knew that fsil is NOT throwing you one. They are both punishing you and its not fair. Even if that is what your mother heard, or what FFIL thinks.. cant they forget that , get over it and do whats right?
Im so sorry about this, it is terribly upsetting.
BlushandBashful
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Posted by IrishAli
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
This. I think you need to speak to your mom. My mom is throwing mine and not asking for a penny from my BMs. I think the whole 'mom not helping out' tradition is LONG gone.
Jsquared
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
Posted by BlushandBashful
Posted by IrishAli
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
This. I think you need to speak to your mom. My mom is throwing mine and not asking for a penny from my BMs. I think the whole 'mom not helping out' tradition is LONG gone.
this too.. i never heard of BP throwing the shower until i joined this site
FutureMrsPanuch
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
Posted by IrishAli
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
And what is it to your FFIL is your FSIL (and MOH) wants to throw you a shower? It has nothing to do with him?
To make a long story short, my mom feels like she has noone to invite ( this is quite true) most of the guests that would be invited to the shower ( and the wedding for that matter) are FHs family, my mom is quite strange like that, she doesnt feel like she should spend the money for people she doesnt know...
I really couldnt believe that FFIL would do such a thing to me... he always seems like he loves me like a daughter... i guess that is all just an act though and to him im just another girl his son braught home... noone special at all....
FutureMrsPanuch
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
Posted by Jsquared
is it possible they are just trying to throw you off?
Why would your mom not budge if she knew that fsil is NOT throwing you one. They are both punishing you and its not fair. Even if that is what your mother heard, or what FFIL thinks.. cant they forget that , get over it and do whats right?
Im so sorry about this, it is terribly upsetting.
Honestly i wish i could say they are trying to throw me off to make me think i am not having one... BUT the friend that told me about this (one of the BM) would never make something like this up... she knows how i am and she knows how important it is to me... Dont get me wrong i HOPE she was just kidding but with my FFIL i neverknow...
everytime i bring up the shower to my mom it turns into a HUGE argument that turns into how i should not have picked my FSIL to be my MOH... even FH tells me i shouldnt have chose her, but she is the CLOSEST thing i have to a sister so to me it was a no brainer when i picked her....
I really do feel like i am being punnished... ever since we got engaged i feel like my mom has been punnishing me... but this is really just the icing on the cake.... i am just SO dissapointed!
BlushandBashful
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
Posted by FutureMrsPanuch
Posted by IrishAli
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
And what is it to your FFIL is your FSIL (and MOH) wants to throw you a shower? It has nothing to do with him?
To make a long story short, my mom feels like she has noone to invite ( this is quite true) most of the guests that would be invited to the shower ( and the wedding for that matter) are FHs family, my mom is quite strange like that, she doesnt feel like she should spend the money for people she doesnt know...
I really couldnt believe that FFIL would do such a thing to me... he always seems like he loves me like a daughter... i guess that is all just an act though and to him im just another girl his son braught home... noone special at all....
How old is your FSIL? Maybe he feels like this is an unfair monetary expense for her to shoulder alone? .
merbride
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this is awful! how many bm's do you have? tell them to throw you one with or without FSIL, mothers and all family members if they are going to act this way!
FutureMrsPanuch
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
Posted by BlushandBashful
Posted by FutureMrsPanuch
Posted by IrishAli
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
And what is it to your FFIL is your FSIL (and MOH) wants to throw you a shower? It has nothing to do with him?
To make a long story short, my mom feels like she has noone to invite ( this is quite true) most of the guests that would be invited to the shower ( and the wedding for that matter) are FHs family, my mom is quite strange like that, she doesnt feel like she should spend the money for people she doesnt know...
I really couldnt believe that FFIL would do such a thing to me... he always seems like he loves me like a daughter... i guess that is all just an act though and to him im just another girl his son braught home... noone special at all....
How old is your FSIL? Maybe he feels like this is an unfair monetary expense for her to shoulder alone? .
Shes 26, only a year younger than me... and i know it would be a burden for her, thats why i passed a comment to FH that we can have it in our backyard, or even his parents yard, ths way she didnt have to worry about spending a lot of money... and she was MORE than willing to throw it... but when FFIL threatened to throw her out of the house that was the end of it...
Dont get me wrong, my other BM might decide to still throw me one, it just doesnt seem like its going to happen, and there should NOT be soo much drama surrounding it...
IrishAli
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I am so sorry
FutureMrsPanuch
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Posted by merbride
this is awful! how many bm's do you have? tell them to throw you one with or without FSIL, mothers and all family members if they are going to act this way!
HAHAH i was just thinking about that... i was even thinking about throwing myself one, and just giving the credit to FSIL... i really think she wants to do it, but because she is afraid of her father she wont....
TheFutureMrs2011
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rosatemp
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
It's not mandatory that the moh has to throw it..my mom is throwing mine and askin my moh's n bridesmaids if they want to chip in and help but that's it..back in the day it was that way but it's modern times so she can throw you one!
Danielle41209
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Sorry you have to go through this...
FutureMrsPanuch
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Posted by rosatemp
It's not mandatory that the moh has to throw it..my mom is throwing mine and askin my moh's n bridesmaids if they want to chip in and help but that's it..back in the day it was that way but it's modern times so she can throw you one!
I know! She just refuses to do so! and that is upsetting me very much, but i expect that from her.. not from my FFIL ( a nd HE IS NOT PAYING A PENNY FOR IT!!!! )
kshea23
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
I'm so sorry your going through this
I know what your going through- my mother is paying for the entire bridal shower and isn't happy about it.
Maybe you can talk to your BMs and have a little thing at your moms house? Just the bridal party, and your friends?
hope everything works out because you deserve one!
